Bright Light
by Ms. Mimi Elphie-Amy
Summary: Sequel to Save me, my friend: Another 2 months have passed, and Mark and Roger's relationship is stronger then ever...But what happens when a teenaged girl tumbles into their lives, and she's a junkie? -mentions of drug abuse, rape, HIV/AIDS and death-
1. Preparing with Lisa

**Hello everyone! Here's the last sequel for the **_**Save Me**_** trilogy (yes, I named it :P)! This is going to be quite long...maybe even longer then **_**Save me, my friend**_**! So hold on tight, keep reviewing, and enjoy the story!**

**Bright Light: Act 1:**

"C'mon, Marcus! You're gonna be late for your own birthday party!" a shrill feminine voice screeched.

"I'll be out in a minute Lisa! Relax!" a male voice cried back from on the loft's many bedrooms.

Mark's 25th birthday had finally come, and the only person not excited about it was Mark himself.

"Jesus Christ Mark! Seriously! Are you putting your make-up on you silly little boy?" Lisa Laveen cried sarcastically. Mark was slowly realizing that it's better for your mental, and sometimes physical, health if you listen to Lisa at all times.

"Silly little boy? Seriously?"

"Shut up and get dressed! Honestly, you take longer than me to get dressed, and that's saying something!"

"It's not my fault I can't tie a fucking tie!" By the sounds of it, Mark was frustrated beyond belief, so Lisa sighed and walked slowly to his and Roger's bedroom door.

A lot had changed in the past two months for the two Boho boys. When Mark decided that he was totally and fully willing to go into a relationship with Roger (after that fateful night in which the men left the past behind, and with no secrets may I add), Roger was more than willing to be Mark's lover. It was obvious to both Lisa and Benny that they loved each other (in a friendly way), but it did come as a surprise for them when Mark and Roger told them that they had entered a relationship together...Well, it was a surprise for Benny. Lisa's exact words when she found out were: "Thank fucking God you finally grew a backbone, Roger! I'm so happy you finally told him you loved him. I knew you did on the inside...I _knew_ it!"

It was only 2 weeks after that when Roger began to sleep in Mark's bed (AN: for you perverted people out there, they were ONLY SLEEPING! lol), and it was only a week later before Roger began moving his stuff into Mark's room. And now, it was quite obvious that it was no longer "Mark's room", instead it was "Mark and Roger's room". _Even if they haven't seen it yet. _Lisa thought, knocking on the door.

"Marcus, it's me! Let me in!" Lisa cried, knocking on the door. Lisa _would not_ let Mark be late for his surprise.

"If you only stop calling me Marcus!" Mark cried back, sounding less frustrated but more tired.

"Fine, Marcus." Lisa said, entering the room. Mark rolled his eyes, and kept on fumbling with his tie.

Lisa came into the room to see Mark standing in front of a full length mirror, something the boys had found in a dumpster 2 weeks previous, trying to tie up his tie, but failing miserably at it. Lisa sighed and shook her head. How hard is it to tie a tie?

"Marcus, Marcus, Marcus..." Lisa sighed scoldingly, coming over to help him.

"Shush it, Liz. I told you you could come in if you stopped saying Marcus!"

"Shush it? Really? I know you're a gentleman Marcus but..." she trailed off when Mark gave her a glare, "Fine, I won't say it anymore...Marcus." Lisa whispered, holding up her hands but smiling mischievously.

"Liz..." Mark said warningly.

"Okay, seriously, that's the last time I say it..._Mark_." Lisa said, rolling her eyes.

"Thank you. Was it that hard?" Mark asked, finally dropping his hands from his tie when Lisa came over to tie it for him.

"Yes it was Marky. Harder then you know." Lisa said teasingly, playing with his dark green tie. Mark just rolled his eyes, and looked over Lisa's outfit. She was wearing a multi-coloured sweater and shorts, with green and black striped leggings and a Beatles t-shirt underneath. _That's just the tip of the iceberg with her weirdness. _Mark thought, remembering his week with her two months ago.

At her apartment (surprisingly she could afford a nice apartment on the outskirts Alphabet city), abstract paintings, photos, and drawing covered her walls, and most of it was random shit. Knick knacks covered every dresser top or table, and in her bedroom (which he only saw when he was snooping around) was filled with funky clothes, even more knick knacks, and crayon-coloured walls. When asked, Lisa told Mark that the people who lived there before her had two little girls who had drawn on the walls instead of paper. She felt guilty even thinking of painting over the girls' drawings. "It's like repressing their imaginations." she whispered that day, placing her fingers on a picture of a horse.

"But their gone, so'd they never know." Mark argued.

"I would know, and you'd know, and that would be enough."

Just like Collins, Lisa tended to speak in riddles, and like in this instance, he sometimes didn't understand a word she said.

"There yah go." Lisa said sweetly, bringing Mark out of his head and back into his room. Lisa was now smoothing out the tied up tie. Mark gaped at her.

"How'd you do that? I spent _hours_ on this! And you do it like _that_!" Mark cried, snapping his fingers and looking at his tie in the mirror. Lisa just shrugged.

"It's a gift." She shrugged.

"Well, thank you. You saved my life!" Mark said with a smile, looking at himself in the mirror.

"Welcome, stud! Wow, look at yourself! You clean up nice." Lisa said, referring to the suit that Mark had dug out of his closet only hours before that came from his sister's wedding over 5 years ago. It was a nice black, with a very light blue shirt (Mark had no white dress shirts...hell, he had _no _dress shirts. He had to borrow it from Roger) underneath and a forest green tie. His hair was spiked as usual and his glasses were on crookedly.

"You're lucky...if you hadn't forced me into this I'd still be wearing my red-and-blue sweater." Mark grumbled, checking to make sure there were no white spots on his suits.

"You're lucky you have me! I mean, look at you! Mr. McDreamy was in my own-well, your own-home, but he was hiding under that holey sweater and brown pants." Lisa cried dramatically, sitting on Mark and Roger's bed. Mark blushed as he always did when he was given a good comment, and he stared at the ground as he fiddled with his tie.

Lisa looked around, and it was suddenly obvious that Roger had partly taken over the room she was sitting in. Mark was known-to her, at least-for his cleanliness, and the room around her was filled with clothes on the floor and papers and guitar picks cluttering on every other space. The only clean place was the bed, which was made, probably by Mark of course.

"Holey isn't a word, Lisa." Mark said, straightening his tie.

"Of course it is! If it is said out loud or written on paper, it is a word. Simple as that!" Lisa cried, crossing her arms.

"That's not true! If that were true, you could write 'snickel fritz' on an essay and your teachers would give it an A."

"Snickel fritz...Hmm, I like those words! How about bibby bang?" Lisa said, looking as if deep in thought

"What the hell is a bibby bang?"

"What the hell is a snickel fritz?"

"Touché." Mark sighed, finally finished looking himself over.

He had to admit to himself, he looked good.

Well, better than from 5 months ago at least. He had gained most of the weight back he had lost in withdrawal, and he looked more...alive. His cheeks were fuller; he was less pale, and less...scrawny. He looked like he did when he just moved into the big city. This wasn't that surprising because Lisa insisted that they ate anything and everything she gave them...even Roger was looking healthier. The only thing that gave away the fact Mark was sick for the past 5 months were his eyes. There were dark circles under them, but thankfully they weren't too easily seen. According to Roger, Mark's eyes usually showed his every emotion, and if that's true, his eyes were showing three things; wisdom, happiness, and love.

Mark couldn't tell you without lying that the past 2 months haven't been hard, or even scary; in fact, those two months in which he was discovering his full love for Roger were the scariest in his whole life. But he was glad he went through them, because now, everything was perfect. Well, life could never _be_ perfect, but to Mark it was pretty damn close.

I mean, Mark still had to get used to the fact that he had AIDS, and Mark still had to try and refrain from cutting...but if you asked him, the hardest thing he had to do was gain Roger's trust back.

"Okay, seriously Mark...I _really really really _want to go! I don't want you to be late! And believe me; _you _don't want to be late either!" Lisa cried standing and walking to the door.

"Ha ha! I knew it! You have something planned!" Mark cried, following Lisa quickly. She was already on the couch putting on her Doc Martens, as if she expected Mark to follow her. _She knows me too well_. Mark thought, fighting a grin.

"You'll never get it out of me." Lisa said with a grin before going back to her shoes.

"But Lisa, it's my _birthday!_" Mark whined, sitting on the couch with her.

"Sorry, Marky. Let's go!" Lisa cried, ruffling Mark's hair then skipped towards the door.

Mark sighed dejectedly, but got up and followed Lisa out the door. So much for tricking the truth out of her.

**One quick note: I don't know if holey's actually a word...hell, it could be! I have no idea though...if you're curious, check, and then tell me in a review :) Tell me what you think, and expect another chapter soon!**

**-Ash**


	2. Not dying from disease!

"Okay, seriously, Lisa. Where the hell are we going?" Mark asked as the two left Alphabet city. Lisa was bubbling with excitement, and Mark could tell this was the thing she had been waiting to do all day. Lisa was barely able to contain her excitement, because she was practically skipping beside him.

"_You'll see boys_." Lisa sang, twirling quickly before facing the right way again.

"How'd you know about that?" Mark asked curiously, suddenly remembering the Christmas of '89. When Collins met his Angel, when Mimi lured Roger out of the house, and when Maureen was bursting with life during her protest and dating Joanne. Life was good that night. That night was full of magic and love and…_bohemia_. Despite the fact that there was no heat, no electricity, and barely any food and AZT left, they all had fun and celebrated being _alive _that night.

_To people living with, living with, living with—NOT DYING FROM DISEASE!_ Mark realized now how true and how amazing that line actually was.

"Benny and I do talk you know. Ever since he came over when we were all eating supper, we`ve actually had lunch like, 2 times. " Lisa said.

"Really? Why?" Mark asked, sort of shocked. Despite the fact that Benny was kind of a changed man ever since Mark went missing, he never expected that Benny would actually take time to get to know Lisa, Mark and Roger's new friend.

"Because, he wanted to know more about you guys while he was gone and I wanted to know more about your guys' pasts. That and we tend to cross paths sometimes during lunch since the woman I clean for is in his building. And I kind of wanted to see if he was the yuppie scum that Roger described him to be." Lisa shrugged.

"Roger called him yuppie scum. Roger..." Mark sighed, shaking his head.

"Not now, of course. I mean, Roger was describing how he used to think of him." Lisa said, and Mark had to believe it.

"...I wish I brought my camera." Mark sighed, looking around and saw some shots he'd die for right now. Sadly, Lisa and Roger planned something behind his back, and had hidden the camera. Before he fell asleep it was on his bedside table, but when he woke up it was gone and Roger refused to tell him where it was. Lisa wouldn't tell him either, no matter how much he bribed.

And believe me, he bribed _a lot_.

She told Mark that he could survive without it for a day, but what she didn't know was he was going to complain about it all day. "You're not getting it back 'til tomorrow morning. Sorry Pooh." Lisa answered, smirking and not looking sorry at all. Mark rolled his eyes, and did the only thing he could think of to get back at her.

"So, are you sure that you still insist on keeping this place a secret from me?" Mark asked, looking around him. Instead of broken down buildings and litter on the ground, there was fancy restaurants and stores, and people of every type from middle and upper class walked around here. Mark knew he didn't belong in this crowd, in this part of town.

"Can't tell you. It's a surprise." Lisa said with a groan but also with a grin, something Mark never knew someone could do at the same time.

"But—"Mark started.

"No! Now we're almost there, so untie your panties alright?" Lisa asked with a naughty grin. Mark sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Liz, we don't belong up here. This is where fancy shmancy people live and shop. Not us. We're people who're one or two steps away from being homeless—at least, Rog and I are—so, how is there _anything _up here that could be my surprise? And yeah, you make money, but unless you save for a _very_ long time, you couldn't really by _anything _up here." Mark said, dodging someone who seemed like he was running.

"Who says? We're all human, so we shouldn't be defined by our race, or gender, or in this case, money. We should be defined by our personalities, our hearts, instead of by the stuff this world gave us, like money or materials or our religion." Lisa ranted, sounding more like Collins than ever. Mark knew she was just trying to distract him, but he took the bait anyway.

"But you see Lisa; only in a perfect world would that happen. As long as there are still human faults, we'll be defined by them. Even if they aren't faults, we'll still be judged, even though we shouldn't be. And don't think I don't know what you're doing." Mark fought.

"I'm doing nothing! And yes, we definitely shouldn't be. It's so petty. I mean, for someone to be so close-minded to hate others because of something they can or cannot change is cruel. That's why it's so hard to be true to you in this day and age. Judgement and war will kill us all." Lisa said with a sigh.

"And AIDS." Mark whispered, and instantly hoped that Lisa hadn't heard him. No such luck.

She grabbed his arm and stopped him where he was, and turned him around to face her. "Marcus Anthony Cohen, do _not _talk like that! Just because you have a disease doesn't mean you have to let it consume you." Lisa hissed angrily. He could tell by the fire in her eyes that she was pissed because of the comment he made that she wasn't supposed to hear. He had to agree with her, or his whole birthday could be ruined.

"Alright, alright I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by my comment." Mark whispered, grabbing her forearm and rubbing it soothingly.

Lisa sighed, and grasped onto Mark's rubbing hand. "Sorry." She murmured guiltily. He could tell this was deeper than her just freaking out over Mark's comment.

"This about Jacob?" Mark whispered, so only she could hear. She squeezed his hand gently and nodded.  
In the two weeks they lived under the same roof, Mark not only learned more about her quirkiness, but also about her brother.

His name was Jacob Laveen, and he was diagnosed with HIV when he was just 3 (his mother gave it to him in the womb). Sadly, he died when he was 16. When he and his mother had a huge fight, he ran away to Lisa, who was 17 and had run away to New York City months before, wanting to help the homeless and sick. They lived together and stuck together for half a year...until the two had a fight. Jacob left shortly after, and packed up all his stuff the next day. That was the last time Lisa saw him alive. Another year later, Lisa found out that her brother died in a homeless shelter because of a cold.

"That's why I'm doing this...the whole volunteering at the free clinic. I want to make sure it never happens again. I want to save people before it's too late." Lisa explained when he asked. Mark understood completely.

"I just don't want you to be taken over by your disease. That's what Jacob did. That's what I tried to stop him from doing...but he disappeared and died anyway..." Lisa sighed, again bringing Mark back, "Anyways, how did we get so deep? From non-existent words to prejudice and disease. Jeez, we have to stop getting so deep." Lisa said, trying to laugh but failing.

Mark sighed and draped his arm on Lisa's shoulders. "Its okay hon. You'll be fine. So...Are we there yet?" Mark asked, slowly realizing that all the fancy buildings and people were replaced by more humble and modest people and apartments.

Lisa laughed slightly at Mark's words, and wiped her eyes. "No, we're not there yet Pooh. Give it a few minutes." Lisa shrugged, wrapping her arm around his waist. Mark smiled, glad to have his Lisa back. He kissed her head, and they both walked for the rest of the way in silence.

**So that's it for now...The last message I give you is if you have any ideas or suggestions or anything that could make this story better, message me or review! Please, feel free to :) Ta ta for now!**

**-Ash**


	3. Where the hell are we?

**Hey everyone! This is a little short, I know. But I promise that the next chapter will be super long. Promise!**

**Laura: I'll have an explanation for their quick relationship soon, I promise :) Thanks for your review by the way**

"Where the hell are we?"

Lisa smiled, and grabbed Mark's hand to drag him inside the restaurant in front of them.

For the past half an hour, Lisa had dragged him halfway across the city, through parks, tent cities, clusters of people, children, and Mark could've sworn he saw a swan as Lisa dragged him along. He fought through screaming babies, evil gangsters, live sharks (they _could've_ been dogs), and crazy monkeys (they _might've_ been kindergartners) to attain his surprise—(Okay, Mark tended to overreact) Now, finally, has reached his destination: a...restaurant. It was either the lively restaurant was his surprise or there was something inside waiting from him. He chose to believe the latter.

Looking at the restaurant, he noticed many things. The restaurant looked old, with vines draping the walls in the front and on the sides. It was made of bricks with white paint chipping off. It was Italian (as much as Mark could tell by the name, which was something he couldn't pronounce), and obviously very romantic. It seemed expensive, but not as expensive as the restaurants they passed to get there.

They walked inside, and Mark barely fought against Lisa as she forced him inside. _What the hell...? _He thought, looking around the inside of the restaurant. Even in their best days, Roger and Mark couldn't afford this.

The first thing you saw when you stepped inside the restaurant was the large creative-looking hall. It was filled with pictures, drawings (on the actual walls), multi-coloured lights, and a small line of many people. Lisa immediately started pushing through people, who gave very little resistance.

"Lisa!" Mark hissed, "What are you doing?"

"Getting through. You're surprise is in here." Lisa said, now looking very excited.

Mark sighed, and apologized with his eyes to everyone they were butting through. After a minute or 2, they were finally at the beginning of the line. At the beginning was a black man with an apron on and a Mohawk. He looked polite on the outside, but it was easy to tell he was bored.

That all changed when he saw Lisa.

"LIZZA!" the man cried.

"RONNIE!" Lisa squealed, and rushed towards him. They embraced happily, laughing and smiling. Mark looked at the line, and was shocked to see not one person peeved. Some were smiling, some were looking away, and some just looked bored.

"How _are_ you?" Lisa cried, finally letting go of the man.

"Great actually! I met a guy. He's _amazing_!" the man cried, gripping her hands happily.

"Awesome! Later you're going to have to tell me all about him...But first I must ask; is the surprise ready?" Lisa asked, smiling happily. By the looks of things, Lisa didn't care anymore about hiding the surprise, and Mark listened eagerly. But it was short-lived.

"Of course. This is the lucky guy?" the man asked, looking over Lisa's shoulder to look at Mark. Lisa nodded quickly and turned to look at Mark. Both were now looking at him and smiling, and Mark blushed profusely.

"You're very lucky. Your boyfriend must_ love_ you." The man said with a bright smile. "Yeah." Mark said, slightly smiling.

"Oh frig! I forgot intros! Pooh, this is Ronald. Ronnie-baby, this is the birthday boy Mark." Lisa cried, as if having an epiphany.

Mark chuckled, and shook Ronnie's hand politely. "So...Ronnie, we can talk later. But first, I must give the Birthday Boy his surprise." Lisa practically squealed. "Of course honey. You two go ahead. But go through the restaurant. Half the kitchen is under construction." Ronnie sighed.

"Really? That sucks." Lisa said, putting her hands on her hips. Mark wanted to scream in frustration. He _really _wanted to see his surprise. Ronnie seemed to sense that.

"Baby girl, go and give your friend his surprise. He seems about ready to explode." Ronnie laughed, slightly staring at Mark.

"Of course. Sorry! Catchya later babe?" Lisa asked.

"Of course Lizza." Ronnie said, kissing Lisa's cheek. She kissed his, and then before Mark could say goodbye Lisa was dragging him into a large room lightened by colourful lights and through numerous couples and people. It wasn't until he was halfway through the room when he got a real good look at it.

The room was filled with people, from every different gender and race. Most of them were couples though, but not the type of couples that society would call..._normal._ Gay couples, lesbian couples, different coloured couples, couples where they were both from different religions...couples that are pretty much shunned by society. It kind of shocked Mark a little bit, and he stared at all of the people who were chatting and laughing in the room in front of him.

"C'mon Pooh. We can't be late! Roger will _kill_ _me _if we're late." Lisa cried, leaving through a door at the end of the room. Inside was a pair of stairs **(A/N lol it rhymes :D c'mon, I know you were thinking it)**.

"Ha! So it _does _have something to do with Roger!" Mark cried as Lisa started to drag him up the steps.

"No shit Sherlock! Where do you think he was most of the day?" Lisa laughed, bounding up the steps with Mark behind her. She seemed pretty excited now, so Mark knew it had to be one hell of a surprise.

It took them 10 minutes to get to the top of those steps. But a few steps before the top, Mark noticed something on the steps. It was a couple of maroon things, and they were small and almost round. On closer look, Mark realized something in shock...they were rose petals!

Lisa just kept grinning as Mark stared at the trail that led up to the door. Mark followed it, and as he reached the top, he realized he was alone. He looked back, and Lisa was still where the trail started.

"Go ahead honey, it's not my surprise." Lisa said with a grin, before bounding down the steps. Leaving Mark all alone to found out what was behind the door.

Mark again started to follow the rose trail up the stairs. When he finally got to the door, he was not only excited but nervous. _What the hell is up here? What if I'm in the wrong place...Okay, that's sort of impossible since there are rose petals leading to the door..._Mark mused, finally reaching the door.

_Okay, here goes..._Mark sighed, and twisted the bronze knob in front of him. The dark forest green door opened easily, and what was on the other side gave him a shock.

**Remember to R&R everyone!**


	4. Birthday Surprise

**Okay, this is a warning for everyone: fluffiness is at its highest in this chapter. Well, whaddya expect? A fight? I could never do that to Marky on his birthday :)**

**Oh, and this'll be the last chapter until after New Year's. I'm not exactly sure when I'm going to post the next chapter, but if I take too long, just review or PM me and let me know :)**

**Anyways, enjoy your Christmas present my readers and please don't forget to review!**

_Recap:_

Okay, here goes..._Mark sighed, and twisted the bronze knob in front of him. The dark forest green door opened easily, and what was on the other side gave him a shock._

In front of him there were candles, rose petals, and a small table fit for two. Mark realized as he stepped forward that he was on the roof because Mark could see the sunset to his left. Soon the stars would be out, and would make the place even more romantic.

And beside the table, with nice (_and clean, _Mark thought) clothes on and slightly tousled hair was Roger. He was handsome, and by the looks of things he knew it. A large smile was on his face, and he looked just as excited as Lisa was when she left Mark by the stairs.

Mark was needless to say...stunned.

Roger was definitely not the romantic type...well; he's not the have-a-candle-lit-supper-on-the-roof-during-sunset type of man. But there Mark was, looking around himself in awe at the candles and at the sunset surrounding him. He honestly couldn't believe it. Mark was the type of guy that did this type of stuff...if he remembered correctly, he did it once with Maureen before they broke up. But Roger...no. This was simply not Roger's style.

_Roger's style was writing a song for his lover and holding his lover gently for most of the morning. Not this..._Mark thought, smiling slightly as he looked around him again.

"Happy Birthday Mark." Roger smiled.

Mark smiled back, and before he knew it he was running towards Roger and embracing him tightly. Roger seemed a little shocked at the forwardness, but he got used to it instantly and hugged Mark back.

"Thank you." Mark whispered into Roger's ear. Mark felt Roger smile against his cheek, and Roger swiftly kissed it before whispering, "You're welcome." Mark smiled as well, and pulled away to give Roger a small kiss. Roger gave a beaming smile to Mark, and indicated towards the chair with a balloon hanging off of it.

"Will the birthday boy sit now to enjoy his dinner?" Roger said in a snobby way. Mark laughed and nodded happily as he walked over to the chair. But just before he was going to sit down Roger stopped him and shook his head. Mark frowned, until he saw Roger pull out the chair in a gentlemanly way.

"You're making me feel like a girl!" Mark laughed as he sat down.

"Oh well...on my birthday you can make me feel like a girl. Okay?" Roger smiled, sitting opposite of him. Mark nodded, somewhat eager to get back at Roger for this.

"Wow...I can't believe you're doing this," Mark started as they sat there, and Roger's smile grew, "I mean this is really..._sweet_." That made Roger's smile falter.

"What babe, I'm not sweet enough for you?" Roger teased, looking slightly hurt.

"Of course not Rog...you're the sweetest, cutest, I-just-want-to-pinch-your-cheeks rocker I ever knew." Mark giggled, teasing back.

Roger put on an un-amused look, but Mark could see the laughter in his eyes. "Well then, I'm _so _relieved." Roger mused, rolling his eyes as Mark tried to hold back laughter.

"I'm just kidding. You're just a sorta-kinda-sweet rocker." Mark smiled, this time speaking honestly.

"Well, I hope my sweetness factor doesn't boost because of this...," Roger joked, and then continued, "Okay, Marky, do want to eat now?" Roger asked an eager look in his eye. Mark had to swallow a laugh, and whispered, "Nah, I want to take in the moment." Roger's smile turned into a pout (a rocker-ish pout of course), and Mark couldn't contain his laughter anymore. "Okay, okay, yes I want to eat. It has to be special if you're willing to give me the pout." Mark lightly teased, smiling.

Roger just rolled his eyes, and leaned back in his chair. "Oh good waiter!" Roger called in a snobby voice, snapping his fingers. Mark looked curiously towards the door he just came through, and grinned from ear to ear when Lisa came through wearing a purple and blue apron and holding a Mickey Mouse writing pad. She was wearing a grin too as she came towards the table, and looked at them both eagerly.

"So Pooh, are you enjoying your surprise?" Lisa asked, grinning.

"Excuse me Miss, aren't you 'sposed to be being _professional_?" Roger asked, still acting like a snob.

"Shut up Rog! Anyways, how are you doing tonight sir?" Lisa asked, speaking in a lousy British accent to Mark. But since her real accent is Australian, the "lousy" British accent wasn't that bad. Instead of playfully teasing her about it like he usually did, he decided to play along.

"Perfectly ma'am. You?" Mark asked, speaking in a gentlemanly way.

"Very well...anyway, the lovely meals we have for today—oops, tonight I mean," Lisa slightly giggled when Roger gave her a meaningless glare, "we have...wine and beer on the menu," Mark grinned at Roger, in grinned in return, "some garlic bread, spaghetti fit for a king and...wait that's it?"

Roger's glare returned, and it was obvious to Mark that Roger had meant for this to be perfect. What he didn't know was that Mark already thought it was.

Mark reached out his hand, placed it on Roger's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Roger looked away from Lisa, and gave Mark a slight smile. Mark gave him back a huge smile. When he did that, Roger slowly realized that Mark loved what he was doing, even though it wasn't perfect. He relaxed then, and held Mark's hand gently in his own—

Someone cleared their throat. The two looked up, the magical moment between them broken. There was Lisa with a grin on her face. "Sorry to break up your moment there, but would you two like to hear about the dessert?" Lisa asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I think we're good for now." Roger said with a naughty grin, and Mark couldn't help laughing. _God, Roger never changes. _He thought, staring at his boyfriend. He was so...well, _hot_. He was wearing a sweater made of jean material, had his hair tousled, and he had a gorgeous smile on his face. He was totally and completely _hot_...and by the grin he was giving Mark, he knew it. Mark could tell that Roger knew what he was thinking about, and he instantly blushed and looked at the table. Roger lightly chuckled as Lisa giggled.

"God, you guys are so kinky!" Lisa laughed.

Mark's blush deepened, and Roger joined Lisa in laughing. Mark gave his best 'mad-face' as Roger and Lisa laughed at his expense, and crossed his arms almost angrily. "Aww Pooh relax; I'm just joking with you." Lisa giggled, touching Mark's arm. Mark rolled his eyes and looked over at Roger. Roger was attempting to hide his amused smile behind his hand, but it wasn't working out for him so well. Mark couldn't help but smile with him, which gave Lisa the go to laugh some more.

It wasn't until 5 minutes later and Mark was threatening to leave did the two stop laughing. Lisa gave Mark a kiss on his temple and was about to turn and leave when Mark asked in a snobbish voice, "Where are you going? You didn't take our orders."

"Well then let me guess; you'd like spaghetti, garlic bread, German wine—"

"Actually," Mark interrupted, surprising both Lisa and Roger, "I'd like Sprite instead of wine. Rog can have whatever he wants." Mark finished with a whisper. Even though it was his birthday, he _refused _to have a drink. Who knows what would happen if he let some wine hit his lips...

"Oh Mark..."Roger whispered, looking saddened yet awed.

"Rog, it's okay. You go ahead and drink whatever you want." Mark smiled, and he didn't regret it.

"Actually...we'll both have chocolate milk. You in?" Roger asked with a grin, and Mark could see the long ago memory in his eyes. Mark couldn't help but laugh and nod happily. _Hey, this might not be a bad birthday after all. _Mark thought as Lisa frowned, shrugged and left the roof. By now, the sunset was almost gone, and stars and the bright moon was beginning to show.

Mark looked up to it, and smiled slightly remembering his and Maureen's first kiss. It was around 3-4 years before, and it was outside the Life, and the only thing in the sky was the bright full moon. It was amazing, and Maureen was so beautiful in the moonlight...

Roger also first slept in the same bed as Mark as Mark's boyfriend on the night of a full moon. He could remember clear as day Roger's tousled hair in the moonlight, the rise and fall of his chest that Mark rested his head against, his arms wound protectively yet gently around him, the background noise of light snoring...

And now this...

The moon held many memories for the blond filmmaker, and Mark was more than happy to have the moon present on this wonderful occasion. He honestly couldn't have been happier.

When Mark looked away from the moon, he found that Roger was staring at him with a soft smile on his lips. Mark yet again blushed, and looked down at the table cloth. "You look cute in the moonlight you know...and kind of sexy..." Roger whispered, making Mark laugh and look up.

"Well thanks. You look handsome yourself."

This time Roger laughed, and he leaned forward and placed his rough hand on Mark's. Mark grasped Roger's hand, and they stayed like that for awhile, just sitting and staring all googly eyed at each other.

"Hey, Rog, do you remember the first night with slept in the same bed as a couple?" Mark asked to break the silence.

"Of course, how could I forget? You looked so cute curled on my side—"Roger started and anyone who knew Roger knew he wouldn't be stopping anytime soon.

The night kept on like this, the couple just sharing old memories, sometimes talking of the present and a little bit of the future. They laughed, they shed tears (most of them happy, some sad), they ranted, and they enjoyed themselves fully and completely for once. They held hands all through the night, and kissed every once and awhile. But Roger never let the kissing go too far, because apparently he wanted Mark to enjoy the fancy dinner he was getting. The sun was gone for most of the night, and the candles burned brightly but they couldn't be brighter then the stars, no matter how much they tried. When the men got their food and drinks, it was a different waiter who brought it up. Apparently, Lisa was never supposed to come up during the surprise. But Roger didn't know Lisa as well as he thought of course because there was no way she was staying away.

Thankfully, on Roger's side, she did stay away though for most of the night. The only time she came to see them was before she left, about half an hour after the waiter brought up their food. When she came up, she couldn't find the courage to announce herself, because Roger and Mark were the very image of peace and happiness. They were sitting close and holding each other gently yet tightly. They were looking up at the stars as they sat on the ledge, with big smiles on their faces. Roger was mouthing something, and when Lisa listened closely she heard lyrics.

"_I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be  
A reason to start over new  
and the reason is you_

I've found a reason to show  
A side of me you didn't know  
A reason for all that I do  
And the reason is you." 

Lisa smiled slightly, and left the two lovers alone for the night. _They deserve it for all they've been through. _Lisa thought as she walked down the steps leaving the two alone.

_It's cool that I'm leaving...I'll grill Mark for details tomorrow._

**Happy Holidays everyone :)**


	5. Lazy Hazy Crazy Dayz

**Happy New Year's guys :)**

**I have to warn you guys about this chapter...this chapter does get a little smutty. No, it doesn't turn into full-blown lemony goodness, but it cuts it very close. So, for those young readers out there, be warned. This is also my first almost-smut piece, so please be nice :) And there's also a lot of fluffiness in this chapter, so be warned**

**That's all I really have to say, except I'd appreciate more reviews (I only got 2 reviews last chapter *sadface*) Please, 3 or 4 is all I ask for guys this time. Pwetty pwease? I'd love to hear what you guys think. Good or bad reviews are invited. Just please, leave me a little hello and tell me how I'm doing. All I ask...**

**Also, I'd like to thank one of my favourite reviewers, who always have good suggestions and nice things to say: **crzyRENThead **:) Thanks for reviewing honey**

**Anyways, on with the story:**

Mark woke up the next morning to light snoring, sunshine, and an arm wrapped around his waist. His body was warm, and he didn't know if it was from the sunshine on his back or from the happiness simple radiating off of him. Someone's breath was tickling Mark's ear, and the snoring was nowhere near soft.

Mark didn't want to wake up, but he knew he had to sometime. He moaned softly as his bright blue eyes opened, and the first thing he saw was a dirty window with sunshine streaming through it.

Reality attacked him without warning, and he couldn't help but sigh. It was as if last night had been a dream, and he has finally woken up from it...He wasn't so sure he wanted to wake up. A sudden thought came to him. What if the past months have all been a dream? What if Roger being his love was all a fantasy?

Panicking suddenly, he turned his head, and was greeted by the sleeping songwriter's breath in his face. Mark sighed gratefully as he put his head back on his pillow. As he lay there, he realized slowly how stupid his panic was, but he refused to beat himself up over it.

Instead he reached out a tentative hand outwards and gently placed it on Roger's cheek, feeling the hair of his growing beard. _I should get him a shaver...he hates it when he has a mini-beard. _Mark thought with a frown, stroking his cheek softly. In his sleep, Roger smiled softly at Mark's touch, and Mark couldn't help breaking into a grin himself.

_God, I'm fully and completely in love with this man. _Mark thought, staring at Roger. He knew there was no way out of it now. There was no way he could ever leave Roger, even if he wanted—no, it'd be impossible to want to leave. Even if he needed to, he could never leave Roger. It'd kill him to do it. And right now, Mark would rather not die.

As Mark stroked Roger's cheek, he began to think of the people that kind of looked down at the two of them. According to them, or to the people that knew the couple (mostly Benny), the two were moving way too fast. Or faster than any other healthy couple. But the men knew that they were moving along just fine. Mark slowly shook his head at the thought of someone thinking such a thing.

For the two, it was no day but today now. They were both HIV+ lovers that could die on any day of the week. For them, they had to go too fast...They had to touch as much as they could, kiss as much as they could, _love _as much as they could...before it was too late.

For all they knew, the other could be gone by the end of the week. That fact not only scared them, but it also intrigued them and spurred them on. They had to live each moment as their last, because it very well could be. And as anyone who has loved before, they knew that a love like theirs didn't come by very often (where one falls for their best friend and they end up being _perfect_ for one another). Why would they _not _be together when they both feel the same way? There's no point for it, because it would only hurt them both.

As Mark laid there and pondered those thoughts, he also thought about his present from last night.

Last night was one of the best ones in awhile for Mark. He still couldn't believe Roger had done all that for him. A lovely dinner, singing, loving, the stars...It was one of the best nights of his life that didn't involve sex. He knew he'd never be able to fully thank Roger for that night, but also he knew that he had to try.

Mark ran his thumb gently over Roger's lips absentmindedly, street-noises making their way up to their room. By the sun and the noises, Mark guessed it was around 11 in the morning or at the latest 12. He knew it was probably a good idea to get up, but he couldn't make himself do it. So he just attempted to sleep where he was, still stroking Roger occasionally.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn't until he felt Roger stir did Mark realize that his eyes had closed and he had slightly drifted off. He opened his eyes, and bright green eyes stared back at him.

"Hi." Roger smiled, placing his calloused hand on top of the hand that Mark had put on his cheek

Mark smiled back tiredly, and whispered "Hey..."

"Someone's tired." Roger commented, sitting up. He couldn't get his goofy smile off his face. It was as if the grin was glued there. He was just so happy that Mark was pleased with last night; he couldn't get over his thrill.

"Yeah...I woke up before you did but fell back asleep. What time is it—"

"12:32—"

"Surely that's way too early still. Come back and lie down with me." Mark muttered, opening his arms.

"Well, look how the early riser has fallen." Roger smiled, lying back down. Mark made a noise that seemed to be agreeing with him, but Roger couldn't be sure because Mark began to drift the moment Roger lay beside him. Roger chuckled, and put his arms around Mark, who in return nuzzled in Roger's neck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Mark awoke next, he knew that Roger wasn't asleep because he was gently humming Mark's song and he slowly drew little invisible drawings on Mark's back. Mark smiled against Roger's skin, and sighed. Mark felt so...content.

It was an amazing feeling.

Mark lifted up his head and found Roger's lips. It took Roger a moment to respond, since Mark startled him by waking so suddenly, but soon Roger was kissing back happily, and the two lovers just laid there in each other's arms, kissing...(**AN I know it sounds cheesy lol)**...until it got heated.

Roger's kisses became less gentle and more hungry and hot as Roger gently twisted so Mark was underneath and he was on top. Roger slowly left Mark's lips and started nibbling his neck. Mark started to gasp and sigh at the contact of Roger's lips on his neck, and Mark cried out when Roger kissed the sensitive part on his neck.

Mark's breathing began to become quicker. He felt his boxers tightening around his member, and he groaned happily as Roger began to unbutton his shirt and kiss lower—

"_Ring...ring...riiinggg..."_

Roger and Mark simultaneously groaned, but not out of lust. Roger lifted his head quickly and growled in the phone's general direction, and then turned his attention back to Mark's neck. "Ignore it." Roger whispered into Mark's neck, making it hard for Mark to hear.

"But Rog, it could be im—"

"Nuh-uh. Nothing's more important." Roger whispered, again moving downwards. Mark moaned again, this time in pleasure, and felt his back arch up. Roger was at his nipples now—

"_Riiiiiiinggggg...SPEAK!...Hello? Marcus, answer me!"_

Again both men simultaneously groaned, but this time at the voice. They both knew that voice.

"_Guys, its Lisa. You better pick up the freaking phone! I want all the juicy details about last night—"_

"Ignore her. Please?" Roger whispered, this time with Roger lifting his head and looked Mark dead in the eye. Roger looked like a little lost puppy. He had a large pout, and he looked like he was about ready to go on his hands and knees to get Mark to ignore the phone call. But Mark knew what would happen if he did.

"Sorry." Mark whispered, gently pushing Roger away with a kiss on the cheek. Roger's look at Mark pushing him away almost got Mark back into bed with him, but Mark resisted. "I'll make it up to you." Mark said with a gentle kiss on Roger's lips while Lisa kept rambling on. Roger sighed, and nodded as he watched Mark reluctantly get up and walk out of the room, trying to ignore the chill in the air as he made his way to the phone. Lisa was still rambling, threatening to stay on the phone all day if he ignored her.

"_Marcus, pick up this phone! I _know _you're there, and I _won't _be ignored—"_

"Hello Lisa." Mark groaned as he picked up the phone.

"_Mark! Hey Pooh! How yah doing?"_

"I'm fine Lisa. Hon, can you please call back?" Mark whispered, fingering the buttons on his halfway-unbuttoned dress t-shirt from last night.

"_Why—Oh, okay. You're were doing him weren't you?—"_

"Can you not be so crude?"

"_Oops, sorry. Anyway, little boy, you promised me all the little details afterword remember? You owe me that before you go give Roger a blow—"_

"Lisa!"

"_I mean before you go give Roger a treat. And remember, chicks before dicks Mark!"_

"Um...What?"

"_Chicks before dicks Marcus. Remember that."_

"...Lisa, I'm not a 'chick'."

"_So? The general message is the same. Friends before men. Bros before h—"_

"I think I'm done talking to you."

"_Aww, why?" _

"Because, you're getting on my nerves. Plus you probably have a major hangover right now which explains would you're so crude this morn—afternoon. How about this: take lots of Advil, and at 5, I'll come over and I'll spill every juicy detail ok?"

_A sigh. "Okay. Go back to your fuck—"_

"Goodbye." Mark whispered, and hung up before she could finish her sentence. He hung his head in disappointment and stared at the floor. He was hoping to spend the whole day with Roger, but the universe was apparently against that.

Suddenly, two arms wrapped around Mark's waist, and lips kissed Mark's shoulders. Mark sighed, and leaned his head back against Roger's shoulder. "What's up babe?" Roger asked, again kissing Mark's shoulder softly.

"Ugh, Lisa. She's insistent on learning what happened at dinner last night, so I have to go over at 5." Mark pouted.

"Aww...well, at least you bought us a little bit of time." Roger whispered, subtly looking over at the clock. 1:23 p.m. That was enough time...

Roger suddenly bit into the exposed part of Mark's shoulder, making Mark gasp in shock. Roger was quick to lick the bitten skin, making Mark sigh. It wasn't long before Roger and Mark made their way to the couch (the bed was too far away to them), kissing passionately...

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	6. A Lovers Spat

**Hey everyone! **_**So **_**sorry for the lack of updates! It's just there's a lot going on in my life from exams to personal problems so please forgive me for my lack of updates!**

**Oh yeah, again, I'm warning you guys: A lot of smutty-ness in this chapter, but no actual smut. Just a lot of heavy making out :) (Also, this is only the second time I added a little smutty-ness into my stories, so please be kind)**

**Enjoy and review!**

Recap:

_Roger suddenly bit into the exposed part of Mark's shoulder, making Mark gasp in shock. Roger was quick to lick the bitten skin, making Mark sigh. It wasn't long before Roger and Mark made their way to the couch (the bed was too far away to them), kissing passionately..._

...One dress shirt and muscle shirt later, Mark was straddling Roger on the couch, kissing Roger's neck hungrily. Roger was moaning softly, the combination of Mark nibbling on his neck and Mark's free hands roaming of his body almost too much. Roger hands were also roaming; in Mark's hair, clawing Mark's back, massaging Mark's neck and shoulders.

Usually with any other lover, he'd be feeling the person up by now and taking off any piece of clothing that got in his way. But with Mark...he felt like a virgin. He felt like an uneducated teenager, scared to touch the wrong things or go too fast or do something offensive. He could feel that Mark felt that way too, maybe even more so.

To any other person, the way they were moving would be way too slow. But for them, they were moving at just the right pace.

As they made out, Mark had pushed Roger softly down onto his back on the couch, and moved quickly down to nibble Roger's neck. Roger moaned, and his neck arched slightly. Not for long though, because within seconds of Roger arching his neck, Mark bit down. Not too hard, but hard enough to make to rocker gasp. Shock waves of pleasure zapped through Roger's body, going from his neck to his toes and making them curl. His member jerked at the shockwaves, and Mark could feel it against his thigh. Roger knew that Mark could feel it because he smirked slightly as he began to kiss the skin better where it began to sting. Roger groaned almost angrily; at the sting and at the smirk.

"What was that for?" Roger growled.

"For biting me." Mark said proudly, and then began nibbling again. Just as Roger was getting used to having Mark biting and nibbling on his neck, Mark began to move downwards. This slightly alarmed Roger, but the alarm was quickly replaced by pleasure as Mark's hands dragged across his bare chest.

Roger continued to enjoy the pleasure he was feeling...until he felt Mark fingers fumbling with the hem of Roger's pants. He could suddenly see through the lust-filled fog in his mind, and he went tense. No...Mark can't—will _not _do that. No..._No..._NO...

"No, Mark, no." Roger suddenly found his voice, and he felt himself pushing Mark slightly away. Mark pulled away, and a look of confusion crossed his face. _He doesn't understand..._Roger thought, sitting up and looking for his muscle shirt. Mark just kept staring at him confusedly, not moving. He just stared, with his legs crossed and still shirtless.

When Roger finally found his muscle shirt, he slipped it on with a sigh. It was so silent in the loft that you could probably hear a pin fall. And it wasn't a comfortable silence either; it was far from that. You could practically cut the awkwardness with a knife.

Again, Roger felt like a teenager. A teenager that _definitely_ screwed up.

Mark was the first to cut the silence. "So, wh—I mean, why—I mea—What?" Mark asked, sounding super-confused and upset.

Roger pretended he didn't understand Mark, but honestly he understood him very well. That didn't stop him from lying though.

"What?"

Mark took a deep breath, seemingly trying to calm himself down. It didn't take that long because seconds later, "Why'd you p-push me away?" Mark whispered, sounding hurt.

"I-I..."Roger didn't know what to say. It was funny how whenever he wanted—or worse, _needed _to say something smart or wise or funny or anything that could mean something..._nothing _comes out. Well, it wasn't really all that funny. It _sucked. Ass. _

"Well?" Mark asked his frustration and anger showing in his voice. His hand were slightly shaking so Roger reached out and tried to grab for one; but when he tried, Mark quickly hid it behind his back. Roger knew Mark well enough that Mark was wringing his shaking hands behind his back. It was Mark's (weird) calming technique, as Mark put it when he had just moved into the Loft.

"I...I just don't want you to..." Roger whispered, and Mark scoffed. Mark easily saw through his attempt of a bluff. That's something Roger hated about knowing someone for so long. Mark _knew _him, sometimes even better then Roger himself...That and Mark could see the reaction to his advances by the slight bulge from Roger's pants.

"What? Are you disgusted?" Mark asked, acid dripping from his words. Roger grimaced, and tried to reach for Mark again. To dodge Roger's hand, Mark stood, angrily staring down at him.

"Tell me Roger...Disgusted? Angry? Hurt—"Mark started to name, and only stopped when Roger practically growled at him.

"What then? Not ready?" Mark whispered his tone disbelieving. Roger shook his head, and that's when Mark got even angrier. "Cut it out! Speak to me _damn_ it!" Mark cried, kicking the couch. That made Roger's voice come back to him finally, but not his words.

"Mark, babe, calm down ple—"

"Stop!" Mark cried, which effectively shut Roger up. With that, Mark closed his eyes and breathed deeply for a minute or two before looking back up at Roger with a slightly cold stare and pleading eyes.

"Roger, please give me a _good _reason why you pushed me away?" Mark asked, looking sad and pleading. Roger knew that he had to either tell the truth and get yelled at, or think of an amazing lie in the next few seconds. The latter seemed like the better solution, but Roger didn't want to lie anymore.

"I just...I-I don't wanna hurt you." Roger whispered pitifully. Mark's eyes softened a little, but also a little bit of uncertainty showed.

"Why?" Mark whispered, his bitterness gone.

"Because...I love you. And I don't want to hurt you or to have something happen to you—"

"But you can't hurt me. I have the disease Rog. I can't get sicker by making love to you..." Mark whispered, sitting back down. Roger sighed and scooted over to where Mark sat and leaned his head against his shoulder.

"Who says? I'm sure the doctor said something about being re-infected...Or how about if I bruise you? Or how about if I—"

"I get bruised all the time Rog. And, do you want to know something? I don't care about getting sicker. In my opinion, I already have a death sentence. It doesn't matter when—"

"_Stop!_" Roger cried, standing up. He felt...a powerful surge of some emotion. He honestly didn't know what emotion pumped through his veins at the moment. Anger, pain, denial...it was almost impossible to tell.

Mark looked shocked. Roger guessed he hadn't expected such a reaction by his truthful words. Mark also looked kind of...scared. Roger sighed, and put his face in his hands. "Mark...I just...I couldn't..." _I couldn't deal with you dying sooner because of me. _Roger thought, hoping Mark would be able to read his mind—or at least his face.

Realization suddenly dawned on Mark's face, before settling into a frown. "Rog, if I do die earlier then you, it wouldn't be your—"

"Stop...just—please just _stop_..."Roger said. Their conversation had taken a turn for the worst. Mark could hardly believe that a second ago they were making out on the couch and just loving each other, and then...it was suddenly over, and their death sentence decided to make its appearance.

Mark sighed, and he slowly got up from the couch. He was still just in his boxers and it took all Roger's control to not grab him and just make out with him like they were doing before. But he knew that Mark wouldn't kiss back, and would either get angry or tell him that kissing him would not solve their problem. Roger knew it wouldn't, but he couldn't help but hope it would push the problem away for a little while.

Mark suddenly turned and walked towards his (_Our. _Roger reminded himself) room, and shut the door, leaving Roger alone in the middle of the loft.

**I know it's short. But I promise, next chappie will be longer! :)**


	7. Making up and out

**Jeez, I'm so sorry guys for the super-late update! My internet was cut off **_**and **_**I kinda hit a writer's block for most of my stories, so please don't hate me! **

**Anyways, review (cuz I'm really missing the reviews I used to get) and I would like the thank everyone who has been reviewing :)**

**(P.S. Reviews are REALLY REALLY appreciated—even if they're flames or just plain annoying—plus it'll probably push me to update faster *hint hint nudge nudge*)**

Mark wasn't in his and Roger's room for long; but in the time he was in their room, Roger had taken out his guitar and started playing _Musetta's Waltz. _When Mark finally came out his eyes were slightly red-rimmed and he was dressed in jeans and one of his favourite sweaters. His camera bag was hanging from his thin shoulder, and his scarf (or the scarf that Lisa affectionately began to call "_Marky's Scarfy"_) was wound around his neck. Roger frowned, wondering where he was going, before remembering that Mark had promised Lisa that'd he'd go over.

Roger sighed and stopped playing his guitar, and pushed it aside. He opened his mouth to apologize and hopefully make up for his actions, but Mark beat him to it.

"I don't want to talk about it Rog. I just want to go over to Lisa's and get it over with. Don't wait up." Mark bitterly said before opening the door.

Roger started to plead with him to stop, and to stay so they could talk it over, but Mark ignored him. Instead, he walked out the door and closed it behind him...leaving a pleading rocker behind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark had to breathe deeply to keep the tears back as he walked quickly to Lisa's apartment. He couldn't believe Roger...Well, he sort of could, but that didn't make Mark any happier.

He walked quickly down Avenue B, dodging people as he went. He barely realized how fast he was going or the people he passed. All that mattered was keeping the tears in. Despite the fact that Roger told him the truth, he couldn't help but feel insecure.

Was it really just the disease that keeps them apart? Or maybe Mark's not hot enough for Roger...

_You know that can't be true, he seemed to want you before he pushed you away. _

It was true; Roger did seem to want him, Mark could've sworn he did...The hardness from his pants was enough evidence for that. But then, why did Roger push him away?

Mark just shook his head, refusing to try to analyze Roger. He'd never fully understand him, even if he knew Roger until they were both old and gray. But that wasn't a surprise; he's known that since they were in high school together.

So instead, he just cleared his head and kept walking. He refused to think anymore on the subject...for now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Pooh!" Lisa cried when she saw Mark standing in her doorway.

When Mark took her in, all he could do was smile and hold in a laugh. She was in poofy Capri pants with a large Winnie the Pooh patch sewn onto it, a tye-dye t-shirt, and a silk robe with every colour on it known to man. Her hair was up, and she had her red glasses on. That kind of surprised Mark, because she rarely wore her glasses. He'd only seen her wear them 3 times ever since he's known her.

"Hey Lisa."

"Ugh, I haven't seen you in forever! Come in, come in!" Lisa cried, waving him inside.

"You saw me yesterday Lisa." Mark laughed, walking into Lisa's messy apartment.

"Whatever. It _feels _like forever. Anyways, sit, sit!" she cried, pointing to the maroon chair covered in colourful clothing materials and magazines. Mark just rolled his eyes and sat down, to which Lisa gave a happy smile.

"What can I get you to drink babe? Beer, coffee? OJ?" Lisa called, rushing to the kitchen and opening her fridge.

"A beer thanks," Mark called back, resting his head on the back of the chair, "So how has your day been?"

"Full of restage. Those 6 appletini's went straight to my head last night." Lisa answered, walking out of the kitchen with a beer and what looked like a Shirley Temple.

"_6?_ Are you_ trying_ to kill yourself?" Mark asked with a hollow laugh.

"No, I was just looking for a good time. After I left the restaurant, I went out to some club with Ronnie and I ended up having a great time." Lisa said with a smile, passing Mark his beer.

"How about work? I'm sure Dr. Strouss isn't too pleased. She barely has any staff as it is." Mark asked, taking a swig of his beer.

"It's all good. I got one of the other girls to cover for me, so there'll be the same amount of staff there always is. Don't worry about it." Lisa said with a shrug, letting herself collapse in her favourite purple chair.

Mark watched unconsciously as Lisa began to paint her toenails a light blue color. _Bohemian blue..._Mark inwardly shook his head and tried to get Angel's and Mimi's blue nails out of his head.

"So what's got you in a funk Pooh?" Lisa suddenly asked. Mark quickly looked at her, and he saw she was still looking intently at her toe nails.

"What?"

"What's got you all gloomy? Usually you'd either be correcting the way I used restage or you'd be trying to distract me from finding out what happened last night. So what's up?"

"You know me way too well." Mark mused, slightly smiling.

"Don't distract me. What happened? You sounded happy on the phone. What happened between then and now?" Lisa asked, finally looking up from her nails.

"Well...It's nothing." Mark sighed.

"Pooh, believe it or not, I've gone through boy troubles too. And I'd probably be able to help you." Lisa said with a smile, and Mark couldn't help but laugh.

"It's just...have you ever been pushed away just before you...make love?" Mark asked awkwardly.

"Hmm...Not really. Guys always succumb to my seduction," Lisa said with giggle, but then quickly added, "But I can imagine. Continue."

"Well...Roger kind of pushed me away when I went to give him...a 'treat' as you put it in the phone call. I asked him why, and he told me he's worried he'd get me sicker. Something about re-infection. But that's so stupid..." Mark whispered, rubbing the back of his neck.

For a couple minutes Lisa was silent as she painted her toenails, and Mark was worried she'd burst out laughing any minute. But thankfully all she did was lift her head and say, "Well, maybe he's right."

"What? Nobody said anything about that." Mark asked, not quite believing her.

"Mark, I've been working in a clinic for 4 years. Do you really think I'm lying? I'm pretty sure you can get re-infected if you're not careful. You guys can have sex, don't get me wrong, but it has to be safe." Lisa said with a shrug.

"...Crap." Mark groaned. Who knew that Roger could be right for once.

"How about this: You tell me quickly how last night went, then you're free to go and make-up to your hubby." Lisa said, looking up at Mark expectantly.

Mark groaned again and quickly began the story. He needed to get out of there...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...But Mark leaving wasn't meant to be. Before either of them knew it, they were chatting about everything and nothing, even when Mark was done telling the story. And slowly Mark found himself relaxing and enjoying his time.

_Roger can wait. _Mark thought as he started on his third beer.

"Ugh, it sucks though. I'm gonna miss Ronnie so much!" Lisa whined, waving her hands in the air. She had told Mark she was only doing it so the blue color would dry on his fingernails, but Mark just thought it was an excuse to make herself look like a spaz.

"So why is he moving away from New York again?" Mark asked, chuckling lightly.

"Because his new hubby is an actor and is convinced that the moment he enters Hollywood people'll be begging for his acting. Yeah right." Lisa grumbled.

"But doesn't he love it here?"

"He says he does, but he loves his boyfriend more." Lisa sighed, blowing softly on her blue fingernails.

"It'll be okay...you can mail each other and stuff. And call." Mark shrugged, taking a sip of his beer. Lisa just scoffed.

It was silent for a little while, and for a minute Mark thought she was angry with him, when suddenly she gasped and a big smile lit up her face.

"What?" Mark asked kind of scared.

"There's a job opening at the restaurant. And guess who could use the extra money." Lisa sing-songed, pointing at Mark. Mark eyes widened, and he was quick to shake his head.

"No no no no..."

"Yeah yeah yeah yeah! You can use some extra money. You and Roger can go out, have fun, buy some clothes or extra stuff like film and guitar strings. And honestly; you can't live off Benny forever. He's rich and all, but wouldn't you rather be independent?" Lisa asked, by then jumping up and down excitedly.

"No Lisa!"

"Yes Marcus! Plus, it'll be fun! All you gotta do is lead people to tables!" Lisa cried, grabbing Mark's arm.

"But—"

"But nothing! Hell, all you need is a good resume and you won't have to start out as a busboy! It's an easy way to get an easy job at a restaurant that pays great! Plus, I know the manager, so all you got to do is show up, look pretty, give the guy a good resume, listen to the man, get into your uniform, and BAM! You're getting at least 90$+ a week! Please just think about it?" Lisa pouted, knowing she was going to get her way.

Mark just sighed, knowing he was screwed-over from the beginning and begrudgingly nodded. Lisa squealed and jumped into Mark's arms happily. Mark just chuckled and hugged her half-heartedly back—

It was then that there was a knock on the front door.

Lisa raised a thin eyebrow and Mark just shrugged. She pulled away, waved for Mark to hide, and practically skipped to the door. It was as if she knew who was behind it...

_Wait a minute...it couldn't be. She's pulling my leg. _Mark thought, his eyes widening. It couldn't be his rocker boyfriend could it?

By the time Lisa made it to the door the knock had turned into a bang, and person behind sounded frustrated.

"Lisa! Let me in!" a voice called, and Mark's eyes widened. It _was _him! Lisa just giggled, jumped up and down excitedly and clapped her hands. Mark just glared at her, and mouthed, "_Cut it out!"_

"_Why?" _she mouthed back

"_Because! He'll know we're in here!"_

Lisa shrugged.

"Lisa Laveen! Let. Me. In!" Roger cried, banging on the door some more.

"If I don't let him in, he's going to bang my door down!" Lisa whispered to Mark angrily.

"No he won't! Just wait it out!" Mark whispered back.

"Lisa, if you don't let me in, I'm going to bang your door down!"

"So much for that theory." Lisa muttered, going to the door.

"Wait, Lisa—don't!—" Mark cried, but it was too late. Lisa opened the door, to reveal a very untidy, angry and desperate rocker. His hand was posed to bang the door again, but the moment he saw Lisa's face he retracted his fist and hid it behind his back.

"Hey Lisa." Roger grumbled.

"Hey there Rog. What can I do for you?"

"Don't do that. You know why I'm here."

"Why?" Lisa asked, feigning innocence.

"Because I want to see Mark, that's why!" Roger cried in frustration.

"Well, what if he doesn't wanna see you?" Lisa asked, knowing she was pushing his buttons.

"I have to see him Lisa, I have to explain!"

"Explain what?"

"That I love him way too much to hurt him. That I love him too much to risk his life. That I love him too much to lose him for a couple moments of happiness. Now if you'd excuse me, I'd like to see him so I can tell him all of these things." Roger growled desperately.

"You won't have to." Lisa said with a mischievous smirk. She moved out of the way, to reveal a shocked-looking Mark standing near the doorway.

Roger gaped for a minute just staring at Mark, before gently pushing Lisa to the side. Lisa didn't seem to mind and just sat on the stool near the open door. Roger practically ran over to Mark, and grasped Mark's hands urgently.

"I meant those things you know. I really did." Roger whispered.

"I know...now shut up." Mark whispered back, before kissing Roger fiercely. Lisa clapped giddily in the background, and if this were a romantic comedy, there would be cheesy music playing in the background. It took at a very long time for the two to part, and they only parted because Lisa was yelling for them to get a room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night, both men slept peacefully in their warm bed, and they let themselves believe that maybe they'd be able to beat the destiny that was trying to keep them apart...

But as they let themselves hope, their diseases was already working to spilt them apart forever.

**DUN DUN DUN! *giggles manically* I love foreshadowing :D**


	8. New Friends and Old Enemies

**Sorry for the delay everyone! Bad case of writer's block and a severe case of lack of internet :/ Anyways, enjoy! Oh, and R&R please!**

Roger took a puff of his cigarette as he sat outside the building in which he lived, to his left an empty alley and to his right the doors to the building. His guitar was out and he was strumming absentmindedly in between puffs as he waited for a certain rich man to pick him up in his Range Rover.

Roger had a gig on the other side of the city, and he despite the fact that he's lived in New York for years, he still didn't know everything was. New York was just too big a city. Benny on the other hand...for his job he kind of had to know where he was going. So that's why Benny's help was important to this rocker...despite the fact that Roger kind of didn't want Benny's help in the first place. It was Mark's pout that got him to say yes to Benny's invite.

_Figures...Mark knows I can't fuckin' think straight when he pouts. Because of that freakin' sexy albino kid I'm out here in Alphabet city at 7 in the morning waiting for a piece of yuppie scum that might not even show. _Roger smirked amusedly, taking another puff from his smoke while his guitar fell silent.

It has officially been a week and a half since him and Mark's first "big fight".

Life turned somewhat back to normal, except a little—only a little mind you—of their passion disappeared from the relationship. But that was fine, since Roger could deal with less passion and more love.

_God, I'm turning into such a cheesy person because of that albino pumpkin head._

"_I'm writing one great song, before I..."_ Roger sang softly, unconsciously playing _Musetta's Waltz_.

"Hey, I've heard that before..." a raspy voice suddenly, causing the rocker to jump in fright—_no, I was just startled. _Roger thought, twisting to look behind him. The voice sounded like it came from a very heavy smoker, or at least a person who was very dehydrated. It was also sort of cheerful but also laced with pain or something like that.

He spotted the owner of the voice a few feet away from him, hiding in the darkness of the alley. He had to take a double take once he got a good look at the stranger.

Hell, the stranger was a _girl! _

That's not what troubled him...she barely looked older then 15, and she looked like a walking skeleton with skin draped carelessly over it. Her short dress clung to her body and was dirty, and her hair was greasy and filthy by the looks of it. Her eyes also startled him. They were almost empty, but there was a faint glimmer in them left.

A glimmer that would probably be blown out soon.

_Well...I could be wrong about her age. I've been wrong before._ Roger thought, remembering Mimi's confession that she was 19, not 16 like he had assumed when he had first met her.

"I've heard you before...you sure like to sing a lot don't cha mister?" the girl asked.

"Um...yeah." Roger answered awkwardly. He couldn't remember the last time he was around a teenager, and he couldn't help but feel...old.

"You a musician?"

"Yeah, you could say that."

"Do yah write your own songs?"

"I attempt to..."

She suddenly came out from the shadows, revealing more of herself to Roger. The moment he got a good look at her, his eyes widened.

She was way too skinny, and looked like she hadn't eaten in days. He could even see her ribs through her small dress. She was dirty all over, her hair looked like it was cut by a scissor-happy toddler, and the only things she had on her feet was flats was a couple of holes in them. But there was only one thing that took his breath away while he stared at the girl;

She had track marks all over her arms.

He couldn't say that he was _horribly _shocked, but he prayed so much in those minutes leading up to her stepping out into the sun that she wouldn't be a junkie and instead just a skinny runaway.

"Why are you staring at me?" the girl asked, sounding uncomfortable.

"N-No reason." Roger gulped, finally tearing his eyes away and instead staring ahead. The girl just sighed and went to sit beside him on the curb.

"Have a name handsome?" she asked suddenly. He looked at her in the corner of his eye, and he saw she was staring ahead too.

"Roger."

"Nice name. Mine's Erika." She said with a small smile.

Roger just smiled—or attempted to anyways. And besides, even if he succeeded, it would've been fake anyways. He just couldn't smile a real smile in the presence of a teenage girl who looked like her world had crashed all around her and then some. Then something strange happened...For once—in a long time mind you—he felt a fatherly instinct take over...for this small girl. He suddenly felt protective for her, for whatever reason.

"— a smoke?"

"Huh?" Roger asked, turning towards her again. He realized quickly while he was in his own little world she had been talking to him.

"Can I have a smoke handsome? I haven't had one in forever." Erika said with a charming smile.

"Well...I think you might be a bit too young for it sweetheart." Roger whispered

"Young? I'm 16."

_So I was wrong then...by only a year though._

"That's still young."

"So? Why should you care about what I put in my body?" she said harshly.

_Because you probably still have chance at a good life. One without drugs or AIDS or your best friends dying all around you..._

"...I don't really. But I much rather keep my smoke to myself instead of giving it to an underage—" _Child,_ "Teenager."

She then just sighed and stared at her hands. Roger made himself look away and look up and down the road. _Benny you...pain in the ass, hurry up! I don't think I can take much more of this..._

But since Roger's luck sucked, Benny wasn't driving down the street. And the girl was still sitting beside him. Staring at her hands. Roger inwardly groaned and absentmindedly began to play random cords on his guitar. He barely noticed that he was actually playing a melody. He only noticed when Erika began to hum along with the guitar. _She has a nice voice. _He thought in surprise as she hummed to the music.

"Do you sing?" Roger asked before he could control himself.

Erika instantly stopped humming and turned to him. "Um...a little. Not so much anymore. Smoking ruined my voice so now nobody wants it." Erika said with a shrug.

"Then why don't you stop smoking?" Roger asked, confused.

"I did...I've just been craving it for awhile now." Erika said with a shrug.

That answer made Roger look more closely at the girl. He only noticed now that she was slightly shaky, and she stunk of sweat. _Oh God..._Roger thought with some shock.

This girl was going through withdrawal.

He could tell by the sweats, the shakes, the widened eyes...she was going through what he went though only a couple of years ago. He knew it well enough to recognize it in someone else...

...And right now she needed a distraction from the pain she was undoubtedly feeling right now.

So Roger, being the martyr he is, took out another smoke, lit it, and then nudged the girl—who was still staring into space. She looked a little bit shocked when she finally returned to Earth, but then looked grateful when he passed her a smoke. She took a deep breath with it and for a minute she looked so happy that Roger was worried she was going to orgasm on the spot.

"Thanks." She finally whispered after finishing her first puff.

"You're welcome." Roger whispered back, finally finishing his cigarette and stomping on it.

"...Hmm, you're not like other guys I know. If you were any other guy—from around here at least—you'd be asking for a blowjob in exchange for this smoke."

That observation made Roger choke on his own saliva.

Erika just giggled as she watched Roger cough and choke, looking as if he was going to throw up. _Poor sweetie can't handle the truth. _Erika thought amusedly.

After coughing a few more times, Roger finally found the guts to ask; "Would you actually do it? Give a blowjob for a smoke I mean?"

"Hmm...Depends how I feel and how dirty the guy is. I mean, if he was homeless, I wouldn't dare touch the guy's wiener. It'd be dirty and probably has an STD on him somewhere too. But if the guy was like clean and good-looking and I feel particularly desperate...probably." Erika said with a shrug, taking a puff from her smoke. Roger felt absolutely disgusted by that revelation. He wanted to throw up. Who in _hell _would ever ask for a blowjob from such a young girl, who seriously only looked _15_?

_Disgusting..._

But thankfully, his thoughts were cut off suddenly by a blaring horn. He looked up expectantly, and there was Benny coming down the street in his Range Rover. Roger sigh almost thankfully, wanted more than anything to get away from this poor young girl who had no self-respect and was going through withdrawal.

_Because, if you're willing to give blowjobs just for a smoke, how much self-respect can you have...?_

"This the ride you've been waiting for handsome?" Erika asked, looking on as the Range Rover pulled over to the curb a few feet away from them.

"Yeah. I guess I'll see you later..." Roger whispered, standing up as Benny blared the horn impatiently from inside the car.

"Yeah, I guess...If you can ever get over your disgust for me, we probably will," Erika said with a toothy grin, earning a shocked look from Roger, "I'm psychic. At least, that's what I've always believed."

Roger said nothing back, still not really over his shock, and instead opened up the passenger door to Benny's nice car. He got in, whispered a hello to Benny, and then turned to stare at the lonely girl on the curb as they drove away and left her behind...


	9. AN

Hi loyal readers! :)

I'm sorry that I made you think this was a new chapter (believe me, I've felt the disappointment before because I read fanfiction all the time), but I have some news:

**I'm taking a break from**_** The**__**Save Me Chronicles**_**.** My apologies to my loyal readers and reviewers, but I have major writer's block for this story and I've become very interested in my other stories that need to be completed. There's also the very real possibility that I might take a break from fanfiction altogether for a little while.

But this doesn't mean the end for _Bright Light_. I do promise to all of you to not give up on this story (I also hate it when an author gives up on any story they start :P). It's just time for a break.

Oh and please do not to hesitate to leave me an odd review for this story, like maybe some ideas or motivation or compliments (they definitely help too XP lol).

My apologies,

Ms. Mea 3


	10. The Sun Will Come Out

**Wow…I haven't updated in forever haven't I? :(**

**Well I apologize very profusely…I only just got my muse back a few weeks ago and I didn't update right away because I didn't want to start this story again only to lose inspiration again. **

**But now I know I'm for real and I'm happy to be back :)**

**Enough of that though: You guys have waited long enough; onto the show! :D**

"_The sun will come out, tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow!...There'll be sun!"_

Roger inwardly groaned as he buried his head into the warm, smooth pillow beneath him. The only thing that was processing in his mind as of late was that someone was singing quite loudly, and he did not like it.

_Bad singing...go away..._Roger thought feebly, too lazy to get up and yell at the person. He was too warm, too tired and too comfortable to get up. Plus it was..._Fuck, it's Monday, _He thought, with another inward groan, _Mark has to go to work today at that restaurant..._

_Speaking of Mark..._Roger thought, finally lifting his head, knowing he couldn't fight the fact that Fate hated him and he was bound to have to get up when Mark had to get ready for work anyways. His handsome Mark was snoring softly from under Roger (apparently Mark was that 'warm, soft pillow' that Roger was just enjoying moments before), his hair a mess and his chest and neck full of hickeys.

Roger smirked evilly and unconsciously kissed one, earning a cross between a sigh and a groan from Mark. Roger's smirk widened and he experimentally kissed another. That earned another sound from the sleeping Mark.

Unable to help himself, he began to kiss and lick every hickey he could reach, earning groan after groan from Mark. Roger barely noticed when Mark's amused blue eyes opened and when he began to laugh.

He only noticed Mark was awake when he began to play with Roger's hair—something that _no one_, not even Mark was allowed to do.

Roger looked up with a growl towards Mark before smacking his hands playfully away.

Mark just rolled his eyes and laughed at him before twisting to look at the watch (their only clock in the whole loft) on the dresser beside the bed.

"_Shit! _I was supposed be up half an hour ago! _Roger!_" Mark whined, pushing Roger off of him and began searching the room for the clothes he was missing. Roger just grinned from the bed and covered his eyes with his arm. He was still pretty tired…

"_Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love yah…tomorrow! You're only a day away!"_

Roger growled and sat up angrily. This was the second time in one morning that the annoying voice disturbed his sleep. He wasn't going to deal with it any longer! Still growling, he stormed into the living room (where Mark was quickly sipping black coffee while tying his tie) and went over to the front door.

"Hey sleepyh—Babe, what're you doing?"

"Killing the person who's fucking singing downstairs." Roger growled.

"Roger, are you sure that's a good idea?" Mark chuckled, placing his coffee on the table as he struggled with his tie.

Roger didn't bother answering Mark; he knew it wasn't a good idea, because telling someone off in _this _neighbourhood can get you some bad enemies…but at the moment he honestly didn't care.

Everyone who knew him knows that he's at his crankiest (or that he's not able to control his actions all that well) when he's tired. It was like a universal truth.

Roger almost slammed the door open and could barely contain himself as he ran down the stairs. He could vaguely hear Mark calling his name, calling for him to come back; but he paid no heed to it. He needed to go yell at the person who woke him up…or "disturbed his slumber" as Lisa would put it.

In record time Roger slammed open the front door to the building, and ignoring the fact that he was still shirtless and in his pyjamas, stood in the middle of the warm sidewalk and looked around. Where was—

"_The sun will come out—"_

There she is.

He quickly walked towards the alley from which the voice was coming from. He avoided glass and other questionable materials on the ground as he made his way to the alley. And when he got there, he stopped at the entrance and looked inside. He wasn't going to just walk into an alleyway bare-footed if there wasn't a good reason to right?

What he saw there made him sigh and the annoyance of the singing evaporated.

Other than an alley cat and a sleeping man, the girl from yesterday was leaning against the wall, shivering and looking delirious.

He quickly looked around, hoping and praying someone would come forward and claims her or something like that…

But no one came.

And unfortunately, he couldn't just leave the poor girl there.

_After all…this could've been Mimi at some point in her life._

Ignoring the gross and questionable stuff on the ground, he walked forward towards the girl and stood in front of her.

He looked over her quickly and reached his conclusion in an instant.

He wasn't a doctor, but experience proved that this girl was going through some withdrawal symptoms. From what he was seeing he could tell she was probably going through some pretty powerful symptoms…but he could tell she was barely at the peak of withdrawal yet.

It was going to get worse before it got better.

_And the worst part is…she's probably homeless. At least I had a comfy bed and good friends to help me out… By the looks of it she has no one or nothing. _

That thought was the determinator. He knew he'd probably regret this later, and Mark was probably going to flip, but he just couldn't…couldn't leave this girl all by herself. He couldn't leave her to die or get raped or blowjob a guy to get a smoke or a hit. She needed someplace to be safe, to rest…even if just for awhile.

"Hello?" he asked as he gently prodded her shoulder.

The girl gasped and her eyes opened wide. She looked frightened for a split second before recognizing Roger and relaxing slightly.

"Hey Roger. What's up?" she asked dreamily, slightly swaying despite the fact that she was leaning on a wall.

Roger was startled that she knew his name before remembering he had given it to her just yesterday when they were talking. Which meant she had given him her name…he grasped in his mind, searching for the name of this poor helpless teenager before remembering it (much to his relief).

"I'm worried…Erika."

Erika smiled happily. "You remembered my name…Wow, it's strange to hear my name come from someone's mouth…I'm used to hearing 'whore' or 'bitch'…"

"C'mon, I'm getting you out of here." Roger said, going to grab her. She flinched away quickly.

"_No one touches me_. Got it?" she hissed, her dreaminess gone.

"Fine! Jesus…you're more messed up then I thought." Roger said thoughtlessly, earning a glare from the young woman. "Okay…I'm sorry I startled you. Now please, just come with me…" Roger sighed, not touching her this time but instead indicating toward the entrance of the alleyway.

"You know, I don't need a cigarette _that _badly!" Erika glared, crossing her arms.

Roger just stared at her in confusion before sudden dawning came onto his face just before disgust did.

"Ugh! No! I don't want _that_! I just…I just wanted to offer you a place to rest. Besides, you don't have to worry about that with me." Roger said, raising his hands.

Erika sized him up for a few seconds before sighing and pushing herself off of the wall.

"I'm only doing this because I desperately need some shut eye. But the moment I'm well enough to leave—"

"You can leave. Promise." Roger said, leading the way as the two made their way out of the alleyway.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I have to ask you," Roger broke the silence as they reached the final staircase that would lead to the loft, "to please wait out here for only a few minutes. I kind of have to break it to my lover that we're lending you a place to stay."

"Lover? What are you a girl?" Erika scoffed, but did as told. She mirrored what Roger had seen outside; she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, looking _beyond _tired.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that comment." Roger muttered dryly as he re-entered the loft.

Mark was where Roger had left him; still at the table, sipping coffee but it seemed he had finally given up on tying his tie. Instead he went with a clip on bow tie and Roger's blue dress shirt. He was reading the _Village Voice _quietly and he had a concentrated frown on his face.

Roger couldn't help but be reminded that his amazing Mark was still the same man underneath all of the pain they'd been through.

Mark was still that 19 yr old kid; intrigued by and scared of the big city, the boy who amused everyone by acting like a retired old person with his newspaper-and-coffee ways every single morning. It was a constant thing that Mark did, despite anything and everything going on in his life.

It was amazing and Roger loved the consistence.

Mark looked up finally after hearing the loft door open. He smiled in relief when he saw his boyfriend standing there, unhurt and smiling.

"Thank God you're okay," Mark fussed, putting down his newspaper, "I thought you'd might have angered some thugs and got beat up or something with all the time you were taking—"

"Don't worry babe, I'm fine." Roger smiled, but Mark could tell there was a 'but' behind that statement.

"But…?"

"Well, it goes like this," Roger said with uncharacteristic nervousness and nonchalance, "You see, the chick singing that song this morning—that annoying song that got me up in the first place—well, the chick singing it is this girl who is really…sick I guess. And I kind of want to help her…"

"Wait…you want to help a random person?" Mark asked with a frown, "I mean, it's a nice thing to do—Angel would adore you doing it—but I mean, this person…we don't know them, they don't know us—"

"Well, um, actually believe it or not I've talked to this girl before and she seems…nice," Roger said through grounded teeth (he knew that _nice _was too strong a word), "and I kind of want to pull an Angel, you know?"

Mark sighed and looked down at his newspaper and coffee in thought before looking up again with resignation.

"Fine…but please please be careful with her. And don't burn down the loft for God's sakes." Mark said with a roll of his eyes.

"What would make you think I'd do that?" Roger asked with a loving and relieved smile on his face.

"I don't know…Just thought I'd warn you." Mark said with a shrug before picking up his newspaper again.

Roger took this as dismissal; so he quickly turned to the loft door and called out to Erika, who was snoring softly. She quickly startled but didn't say a word as she pushed herself off the wall and walked cautiously towards Roger.

Roger nodded encouragingly as he walked inside the loft to make room for Erika. She seemed to hate being in close quarters with people, so Roger was quick to back off and let her be as she entered.

Mark looked up, interested as to who Roger had invited up to their apartment. He gasped lightly as he saw the girl.

She looked barely in her teenage years. She was way too skinny, way too shaky and way too sick. Mark could instantly see why Roger was insistent on bringing her up. She looked exhausted and she looked like she could collapse at any moment.

Erika meanwhile was silently sizing up Mark. He was a handsome man, with crooked glasses, a bow tie and a dress shirt on. He was obviously enjoying reading the newspaper and drinking his coffee before she came and interrupted.

She honestly thought he looked like a man from a catalogue.

He looked too prim and proper and _clean _to be living in the smelly, dirty Alphabet City. He looked like he belonged with the guys who had high-paying jobs and the perfect family all the while living in an expensive condo. He didn't look like he belonged in the shithole that was this part of the city.

That confused her a little bit.

Why on earth was he living here instead of in the fancy part of town? There was no way this was all he could afford…

_He must really love…oh…_Erika said, her face the picture of dawning.

_It's because he loves him. _Erika thought, her gaze looking at Roger briefly, _This dude loves the other dude…though I don't know how much. Maybe as friends, maybe as…Roger did mention his lover was in here before he went inside. Then he must be…_

"Hi, I'm Mark." The dressy man suddenly said to break the silence. He got up politely and walked over to Erika. Not quite knowing what to do, Mark held out his hand for her to shake. Erika smiled, instantly liking this man and shook his hand. Mark didn't seem to be worried about STD's or germs that might linger on her hands, which made her like him very much.

"I'm Erika." She said with a shy smile.

Meanwhile Roger stared in shock at their interaction. _When I talk to her, she talks to me with insults and anger. When she meets Mark, everything's fucking sunshine and daises! She even let him touch her, despite the fact that _'No one touches her'_…I'll _never _understand women. _He thought with disbelief.

"Hi Erika." Mark said kindly before gently letting go of her hand. "Would you like anything to eat or drink? By the looks of things you could use some pounds on you."

Erika smile dreamily before answering, "Just a nap will do actually."

Mark nodded before pointing to Roger's room. "There's an unused bed in there. Enjoy." He said softly. Erika nodded before trustfully going into the bedroom and collapsed onto the bed.

Leaving Roger and Mark to talk.

**TBC**

**I know this is probably asking for a lot from you guys, but to my beautiful readers; please leave me a review! Let me know you guys are still out there and wanting to read my story. All I ask I swear :)**


	11. Secrets

**Okay, I guess most of you need a little bit of reassuring that I'm here to stay :) Well, here's another chapter,**

**(P.S. I'd like to dedicate this chapter to DJ, who made my day and reviewed :D)**

"Well…she seems nice." Mark commented before going back over to the kitchen island.

"To you maybe." Roger whispered, also following.

Mark frowned and sat down. "What do you mean? You're the one who insisted she come up here."

"I mean…when she was with me, she fought tooth and nail against me and insulted me and…but the moment she meets you she all kind and nice and polite…"

Mark's lips grew into a confused smile.

"Roger…are you _jealous_?"

"Me? Jealous? _No…_" Roger said, shaking his head.

Mark raised an eyebrow. "I really _really _hope this jealousy thing isn't attractiveness oriented."

"No!" Roger cried, which made Mark smirk, "I mean, if I was jealous, it'd only by likeness oriented."

Mark's smile just grew and he whispered, "You're totally totally jealous. Not in the way I thought, but still totally—"

"No I am not."

Mark began to tease in a whispered sing-song voice, "_Roger is jealous, Roger is jealous, Roger is—"_

"Fine, fine! I'm jealous…I just thought since I talked to her first and helped her she'd like me more over you…"

"Rog…" Mark said with a kind smile, scooting his chair over to the one Roger was sitting on, "As cute as this jealousy is, you need to get over it. Just get her to like you just as much as she likes me. Which'll be easy; after all, all I used was my charm and kindness. You know; the charm and kindness I used to win over you?"

Roger smirked and grabbed Mark's hand, "That's right …I guess I might've been a bit too hard on her the two times we did meet."

Mark nodded, patted his boyfriend's hand before saying, "Make it up to her; she'll like you better before long. All you have to do is show her the greatness that you showed me all those years ago to make me like you."

And with that everything went back to normal; Roger settled on the island table with his guitar and Mark continued on with his newspaper. The only abnormal thing was the quiet snoring coming from Roger's old bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next few days past in a quick blur.

Erika never left the loft after that nap (mostly because Mark was able to convince her to stay after realizing how weak and sickly she was). Instead she stayed and surprisingly enough behaved like a good guest. She ate when told to, excused herself when she wanted to take a nap, was ever-so-polite to Mark and even warmed up a bit to Roger.

Mark's first week at his job went splendidly.

He actually loved it, despite the fact he had one of the low ranking jobs when compared to the other employees. But the people were nice, the love was always palpable and the freedom to be who you were lifted Mark's heart. He always returned home with a smile on his face, which overjoyed Roger.

And people at the restaurant seemed to enjoy Mark as well. Ronnie and Mark became quite good acquaintances within the first few days. Even the owner, a dominant woman who reminded Mark a little too much of Joanne, seemed to like him (even though they had only talked briefly on his third day there).

Roger had a busy week as well and he didn't even have to leave the apartment.

Having no gigs and not even bothering to try to find one, he paid his complete attention to Erika, who was beginning to get into the really bad parts of her withdrawal. He was able to distract her most of time thankfully, by playing the guitar or talking to her. At some point he got out of her that the drug of her choice was heroin of all things, ironically enough.

Somehow Mark was totally oblivious to the girl's withdrawal symptoms. Roger guessed he was either too busy to care, despite his Mother Hen ways, or that Mark was in denial. Which Roger didn't blame; Mark had after all seen too much of drugs and withdrawals in his lifetime.

So Roger didn't bother cornering him and telling his lover about it, even though his gut was telling him otherwise. After all, he didn't need to bother his happy Mark about such things if there was no reason to.

Which was a big mistake.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roger and Mark came into the loft, laughing about something silly Lisa had done at supper. Something about blowing bubbles…neither could really remember what she had done after they saw _it_.

At first Mark thought he was stuck in the past; _He walked in after a long day of filming, only to find his best friend and girlfriend April high on the couch, smiling and laughing at something that seemed to be on the ceiling._

But no…he wasn't in the past. He was in the present…so who the fuck was on their couch high?

For a second he thought a bum had somehow snuck into their apartment for whatever reason, but that thought was dashed after his eyes adjusted to the darkness.

No, instead of some bum or the ghost of April, on the couch high was—

"_Shit_." Roger swore from beside Mark.

Mark blinked at the high-as-a-kite Erika, who was grinning at the ceiling. He switched his gaze easily enough to look at Roger, who was cringing.

"Rog…did you know about this?"

Knowing playing dumb wouldn't work, Roger settled for the truth (something that never seemed to get him anywhere but something he insisted on telling). "Yes."

Mark sighed before clenching his fists in anger. He knew he probably shouldn't be angry…But dammit he was! Roger had withheld the fact that the young girl that they had brought in was in fact a fucking junkie.

Now, Mark knew he should've seen the signs; shaking, sweating, barely interacting with anything or anyone…but he honestly thought she was just suffering from a cold.

_Never going to make that mistake again._

Mark ran a frustrated hand through his hair before walking over to the kitchen island and slamming the extra food they brought home on the counter.

Roger seemed to finally notice his anger because he was quick to explain. "Babe, I—"

"Don't apologize." Mark grounded out.

"Mark, please—"

"No! I will not listen to you. Not after you deliberately withheld the fact that we had a fucking _junkie _in the loft. Again. Oh, and let me take a wild stab at the drug she's _obviously _addicted to: heroin I presume?"

Roger nodded, kind of afraid to speak. Mark was in his scary, quiet, barely controlled anger mood; which was always something to be scared of. For whatever reason, a quote came to Roger's mind at that moment; _Always be aware of the quiet ones…_

"Interesting…I seem to remember that it used to be your drug of choice as well." Mark bitterly spat out.

It took a few seconds for Roger to detect the insult and the allegation, and when he did his eyes widened at Mark's accusation.

"Mark, I'd _never _do that! I've worked too fucking hard—"

Mark chuckled darkly, "I believe I said that before I had that relapse two months ago."

Roger's anger flared inside.

"Well I didn't okay! I'm stronger than that, like you told me over and over again when I was going through withdrawal—"

"So you're saying I'm not strong?"

Roger gaped for a second before crying out, "Of course I'm not you moron! You're one of the strongest people I know—"

"Stop yelling."

Both froze at the small, quivering voice. They had forgotten that the little high girl was still on the couch. Now she was staring at them with tears in her dilated eyes. It was obvious to the two that she was still high, but somehow the duo's argument broke the trance she was in.

Mark looked at her, scoffed and started moving. But instead of storming to the bedroom like Roger thought he was going to do, instead he grabbed his camera and scarf and stormed over to the front door.

"Mark what you are—"

"I hate to be such a dramatic girl, but I'm going to stay at Lisa's for awhile." Mark said flatly.

"But—"

"I don't want to fight…and I especially don't want to ruin her high." Mark said, sarcasm dripping from his voice, before leaving without another word.

**TBC**

**Review please :) *pouts***


	12. Distractions

**Damn, no reviews :( Well, all I have to say is that PLEASE, if you're still reading this, please review…because I like to know someone's enjoying this story other than me :)**

The next few days were terrible in Roger's opinion.

After Roger's initial anger at Mark for taking off before working it out faded (it was gone within the first day), all that was left behind was sadness.

But Roger didn't let the anger stay away for long.

Instead he used that anger against Erika.

Since she was the only living thing to yell at and get angry at, he immediately did so after the shock of Mark's abrupt departure. He yelled at her for making Mark leave, she screamed at him for letting her ruin things.

She left for 2 days after that. A whole weekend passed with Roger moping and wallowing in the loft, having no one to comfort him or talk to him. It was usually Mark's job to do that.

But unfortunately Mark was not there.

Instead an empty side of the bed and a hole in Roger's heart were the only things left.

On Monday evening, Erika found her way back to the loft. It was a strange reunion to say the least…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What're you doing back here?" Roger asked bitterly after she whispered a greeting, all the while he played _Musetta's Waltz _over and over again.

He never played that song anymore with Mark around (Mark insisted it was annoying to listen to over and over again and that if he ever went to hell, _Musetta's Waltz_ would be playing). But now that Mark wasn't here...?

It was playing around the loft 24/7, to both comfort him and to keep himself busy (after all, he didn't want to think too hard on a certain situation).

"I…I have nowhere else to go." Erika suddenly said shyly, coming into Roger's view.

Roger took her in and his first thought was she looked like crap. She was shaking softly, she was dirty (she had probably slept on alley floors for those two nights away) and she had bags under her eyes. She obviously hadn't had heroin since that high two nights ago.

That was comforting.

"And why do you think that you're welcome here?" Roger asked irritably.

"Because…Mark was really kind to me when I came here, and I know I let him down…so I kind of want to try again."

"I think that ship already passed."

"Please…please give me another chance…I-I really like you guys. You're the nicest pair of people I've met in a long time and I…now I know that it's totally not cool to shoot up under your roof—"

"No Erika, it's not cool. Which is why I have to draw a line; if you want to live here, you have to get clean." Roger said, putting his guitar to the side and standing up. From his vantage point Erika looked much more vulnerable and childish…but no matter what she did, from giving him puppy eyes to crying pitifully, he would not give in. He couldn't live with a junkie in the house. Not again, not now…not ever again. He couldn't have his relationship screwed up for one little girl who was way too into her drugs and would get killed for it someday.

Erika's dark eyes widened in fright.

"Get-get…clean? But I-I c-c-can't—"

"You have to—or just leave right now and don't bother to come back." Roger hissed, sitting down again.

"I-I can try—"

"And you can go through with it. You can survive without them, no matter what your head and your itch is telling you…take it from someone who knows."

Erika's eyes widened a little more, an accomplishment Roger did not think could be possible.

"You-You've-You're a-were a—"

"Yes, I was a fucking junkie," Roger growled, looking everywhere but at the girl's face, "but…I decided to give it up after my girlfriend fucking killed herself because of a dirty needle…and most importantly I quit so I wouldn't have to see the horrible disappointment and the worry on Mark's face whenever I shot up."

"I-I—"

"Don't know what to say. Well, I have a couple of more things to say; this _will _kill you Erika. Through O.D-ing or AIDS or dirty needles or angry dealers…you'll die if you let this thing get to you. But, if you stay strong and get out of the habit—"

"_It's not that easy!_" Erika hissed angrily, going from a little scared girl to a fiery teenager in seconds, "_And besides…_I don't know how. I won't and can't do it on my own and I can't burden you with my _fucking habit_."

"When will you get that we don't care?" Roger asked, standing up again, "No, more importantly; when will you realize that _Mark _doesn't care? He's just one of those guys; he's kind and generous and if he sees anyone in pain he does whatever he can to help. He-he puts money we don't have to spare in homeless' peoples cups; he sacrifices meals that should've been for him to me when we're dirt broke because we spent all our money on AZT; he always has a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen to you when _anyone _needs it; he's stayed with me through thick and thin even though he has enough talent to be making millions at this point. He's amazing…and you hurt him when you gave up. And I hurt him for not telling him about your junkie ways...I guess we're both screw-ups huh?"

"Yeah." She chuckled darkly as she sat on the couch (quite aways from Roger of course), "We are…"

"Might as well be screw-ups together then?" Roger said, looking at the floor. Normally he wouldn't think twice of kicking her out and away (well, he'd might _consider _letting her stay) but he knew Mark would yell at him later for doing so.

Erika smiled softly at him with her gratefulness in her eyes.

"But I have to let you know—pull this shit again and I just can't let you come back okay?"

Erika nodded sombrely in understanding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For the next few days, both Roger and Erika entertained each other **(AN: not in a naughty way! :P Just sayin')**.

Erika would occasionally sing with Roger playing guitar in the background. They would also play cards and doodle in Roger's song book. They basically did everything they could to keep their minds off of things; Erika did it to keep her mind off of withdrawal and Roger did it to keep his mind off of his missing lover.

By the time Wednesday rolled around though, distractions ceased and leaved them both to their own heads.

Something neither wanted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, at Lisa's, Mark was going crazy.

He kept himself as busy as possible by working his ass off either at work or at Lisa's place (her apartment has never been cleaner). But, there were the moments when he had to relax or had to sleep. It was those moments that his mind chose to wander off and think about things.

He thought about the poor girl who lived under his roof that was addicted to drugs. He thought about how stupid he felt for not seeing the withdrawal symptoms from the teenager. He thought about his lover…who, if he knew him well enough, he was sulking and playing _Musetta's Waltz._

He couldn't help but miss Roger, but…but Roger messed up yet _again_ (did he _ever _stop messing up?) and…Roger had to think about what he did and apologize.

And Mark prayed that Roger would hurry up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roger sat playing _Musetta's Waltz _absentmindedly as he stared into space. Erika was trying to keep her mind off of the shaking of her limbs by drawing invisible drawings on the surface of the metal table she was sitting at.

Once Erika had heard the _Waltz _for what felt like the 1000th time, she brought her fists down to the table in utter annoyance. The playing stopped instantly and Roger's head came up in worry.

"You okay there?"

"_No!" _Erika hissed, "Would you stop playing those same damn notes over and over again? God, now I know why Mark hated it so much."

"_Sorry!_" Roger said mocked, "It's instinctive when I'm thinking deeply."

"What are you thinking about?" Erika asked, trying to keep Roger from playing again. The distraction worked, because Roger began to talk.

"What I'm usually always thinking about nowadays."

"Getting laid?" Erika smirked, drawing an invisible smiley face.

"No." Roger rolled his eyes, but Erika could tell she had hit at least some of the nail on the head.

"Writing a new song?"

"Damn you're bad at this game."

"Mark?" she asked, finally answering seriously.

"Damn straight." Roger said in a great Collins impression. But there was no one else there to fully appreciate it; Mark wasn't there and Erika had ever known Collins, so there was no way in hell she'd recognize the impression. Which made Roger all the sadder.

"Look I know you love the man, but you do know you're acting like a love-struck, foolish teenage girl. For Christ's sake you're in your late 20's! Be a man and _call him_!"

"I can't." Roger simply answered, beginning to play again.

"_No more of that!_" she screeched before turning and continuing, "Why fucking can't you?"

"Because—" Roger put his guitar to the side (_Finally, _Erika thought) and turned to her as well, "You don't understand. The woman he escaped to, the woman he's staying with at this moment, is _not _someone you want to be enemies with! She's his best friend and we have a love-hate relationship. At this moment it's not difficult to guess that she hates me. So if I call and she answers…I'll die."

"Don't be such a drama queen! _CALL!_" she said, getting up and grabbing the phone. Since it was cordless, she was able to throw it at him easily. He caught it without fail and then gave her a scowl. The scowl that said, _If you throw this phone again you'll be in big trouble. _

Erika just rolled her eyes and sat back down at the table.

Meanwhile Roger stared at the phone in his hand. His mind was reeling with pros and cons of calling Mark.

If he did call, it'd be 50% likely he'd hear Mark's voice and maybe even convince him to come home…

There was also 50% chance of getting an earful of Lisa's fresh can of anger.

He sighed as his thumb ghosted over the speed dial that was Lisa's number. Should he? Should he not? Would Mark be ready to come back? Would Lisa even let him talk to Mark—?

"If withdrawal hadn't taken most of my strength I'd be kicking your ass." Erika commented drying, now flipping through an old newspaper.

"Why?" Roger asked vaguely.

"Because you're not calling. If you don't call soon, strength or not I will kick your ass buttmunch."

"Buttmunch? Isn't that you?"

Erika just gave him the bird in response.

Roger smirked and looked back at the phone. _No day but today…_So with a grimace he hit to speed dial and put the phone up to his ear.

_Riiinngg…Riiinngg…_

"Finally!" Erika exclaimed dramatically.

"Shut up!" Roger whisper-yelled, mostly concentrating on the rings from the background.

_Riiinngg…Riiinng—_

"_Yellow?"_

Roger gulped.

_Crap_.

"Hey Lisa."

"_Oh. You."_ Lisa growled, knowing instantly it was him.

"Look, there are two sides to every story—"

"_And there are two people—including me—who frankly don't give a damn."_

"Quite frankly," Roger said in the exact same tone as she, "I think there's only _one _person over there who doesn't give a damn. Because my Mark is too fucking understanding to not give a fuck."

"_Manipulator._"

"Shut up Lisa! Just put Mark on the phone!" Roger cried.

"_No. If you want to apologize or explain, do it in person. Not over the phone!" BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE—_

Roger hung up the phone in a huff.

"How'd it go?" Erika sing-songed.

Roger just growled and picked up his guitar yet again.

**Review? *pouts* **

**Make's my day every time :)**


	13. The Classics and New Love

***Gasp* Oh My Marker, so many reviews :D Jeez guys, you have no idea how happy I was to receive those reviews! Please keep it up—I'd REALLY appreciate it :D**

**R&R!**

"Awww!" Lisa squealed, clinging to Mark's skinny arm. Mark meanwhile just rolled his eyes with a small sigh. Lisa noticed this and shoved him playfully with her shoulder.

"C'mon; _Beauty and the Beast _is a bloody classic!" Lisa cried.

"It just came out awhile ago." Mark pointed out.

"So, the release date don't matter. A classic's a classic. Like _Titanic _for example! That only came out awhile ago but it's considered one of the greatest films of all time."

"Oh please let's not watch that again!" Mark whined.

"We won't…until a few days pass," Lisa passed off, "But still—"

"Lisa, just because it's one of the greatest films of all time _doesn't_ make it a classic." Mark said, rolling his eyes again.

Lisa huffed, gave a slight pout and crossed her arms. He was instantly reminded of Maureen.

"But Pooh—"

"You're not changing my mind." Mark said, crossing his own arms.

"Look, beautiful, honey, sweetie-Pooh; I know you miss your other half but stop being unreasonable—"

"Just because I'm upset does not mean I'm upset about Rog—_him._" Mark cried in protest, obviously offended. Lisa just raised a thin eyebrow.

Mark huffed and turned away, earning his own eye roll from Lisa before she got up to take the movie out of the VHS.

And as she did so, Mark began to think.

_Is she right? I'm I really freaking out about Rog? Is my head not clear?...I guess it could be clearer. I just…dammit I miss him. I miss waking up to his ruffled hair and strong arms. I miss him fiddling with his guitar. I miss –…Maybe I'm being stupid. After all, it's not like we're relationship geniuses! If the last few months have counted as anything, we fucking suck at mature relationships…So why do I expect him to be suddenly the most mature man in the world? Lord knows he isn't; relationship-wise, he's still in college. We both are._

"Loverboy."

Mark blinked and saw Lisa standing in front of him only a few feet away, holding two different movies.

"Stop thinking so hard. You're only going to hurt your poor little brain." She said, coming forward and gently ruffling up his hair before thrusting the two movies in his face, "Which one should we watch?"

Mark blinked again and looked at them both carefully…and ended up groaning.

"I have to choose between two chick flicks? _Really?_ Lisa, you forget; Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'm flamboyant as Ronnie."

"Now you see, for you to even use flamboyant in a sentence proves that you're at least a little feminine."

Mark gave a small glare. Lisa gave a small glare back. They glared at each other hard for at least a few minutes before Lisa did a huff mixed with a sigh before turning away. She put the movies away, much to Mark's guilt, and then silently left the room.

Mark sat in the silent for a few minutes, thinking and tapping his knees quietly.

_I'm being stupid aren't I?...I am. How can I act so stupid because of _Roger_? Sure I love the man, and I sure miss him, but I have no right to act this way towards Lisa…maybe I'm just being a burden. I should just go…I'll leave and make up with Rog._

Mark sighed and pushed himself up off of the couch. He was going to be kind and tell Lisa, even if she didn't talk back, about his departure—like a good guest, which qualities he was lacking.

He searched quickly, looking from room to room, until he found her in her bedroom on her bed.

Her feet were curled under her, but somehow by some fantastic double-jointed feat her thighs were serving as a flat surface for the drawing book in her hand. Her tongue stuck out from between her lips furiously, her red-glasses-covered eyes darting over the book in her right hand. Her left hand was drawing erratically on the page, fluid and quick. Mark could tell she was upset about something.

"I thought you said you only drew when you're overly-emotional." Mark commented, just to start a conversation between the two.

"I am," She answered dryly, her sweeps becoming gentler, but forcibly so.

"I—I'm sorry I've been upsetting you these past couple of days…be-because of _that _I'm just going to leave—"

Lisa's head perked up and her hand movements stopped. She raised an eyebrow.

"Well-well I'm just bothering you—"

"Of course you are," Lisa said, her lips quirking up slightly, "But I love you enough not to let it get to me."

"It obviously is, if you've been reduced to drawing."

Lisa instantly put the book and the charcoal in her hands down and was quick to point to the seat opposite of her. Mark was quick to sit in the strangely-painted fold up chair, knowing that to argue would be a bad idea.

"Honey," Lisa said, shifting forward and grabbing Mark's hand. Mark had to keep himself from grimacing at the obviously charcoal dirty hands touched his clean ones.

"I know you love Roger, and I know you'd love nothing more than to just go home and make sweet, sweet love to him…" Mark grimaced at this choice of words, "But, just like every other spouse to a boyfriend, you must let him make his own mistakes. You must let him do what he does, learn from it and come out of it so much better."

"But—" Mark said, only agreeing to the first part of her speech.

"No buts; you're staying here until he bangs that door down pleading for your forgiveness—like last time—by the way, did you ever apologize for the last time, since you were in the wrong?" Lisa asked, cutting herself off mid-sentence.

"Of course I did; as much as I hated to do it, I apologized—but that's not the point. The point is, I want to go _home_—"

"And you can after he comes and apologizes."

_Knock knock knock_

Mark and Lisa looked towards her bedroom doorway. Did they just hear—?

_Knock knock knock_

Lisa grinned and raised an eyebrow. "Maybe it's your baby."

"Lisa!" Mark cried as she hurriedly left the room. She didn't want her meddling in his business anymore. He just wanted to see Roger, accept his apology and go home! And he refused to let her mess with it!

But it was too late by the time Mark entered the living room; Lisa was already opening the door.

"Lis—" Mark hissed, but stopped dead when the door opened to reveal not Roger but—

"Benny?" Mark asked in confusion.

Benny looked confused for a second and looked back in forth from Lisa to Mark. He did this for a few seconds before smiling at Mark and said, "Hey Mark, hey Lisa. How's it going?"

Before Mark could reply, Lisa was answering.

"Oh, nothing much. Just helping out Mark. You?" she said. Mark looked to her, about to reply that he did _not _need her help, when his mind stuttered when he saw Lisa's appearance.

Sure, nothing had changed since she had left to go answer the door; she was still wearing her hated glasses, her hair was still swept to the side (despite the shortness), she was still wearing her Cinderella PJ's…but she as a whole was changed. She was smiling flirtatiously, her nail-painted finger was twirling a strand of her hair, her stance was kind and welcoming…

And even Benny was different! He was smiling just as flirtatiously as Lisa was and looked almost…_adoringly _at her. The sight made Mark want to throw up.

And that's when he realized.

Mark hid his shock and the little bit of disgust he felt and just went with saying, "God, it's so obvious you guys; get a room!" before leaving to go to the living room.

You could hear a pin drop for a few shocked seconds before Benny and Lisa immediately followed.

"What are talking about?" Lisa asked, uncharacteristically biting her lip and acting jumpy. Benny just gave Mark a worried look.

"You know…you could've told me you two were dating at least. I'm friends with both of you." Mark just commented from his lazy lounge on the couch.

Benny and Lisa paused, taking in what he said before moving close to one another and linking their hands. Benny now smiled but Lisa still looked guilty as she stared at her shoes.

"How did you know?" she whispered, daring a peek at her friend.

Unexpectedly enough he looked rather amused instead of upset or hurt, which surprised her (in a good way of course). It also excited her and made her relax in the slightest.

Now Mark gave a small laugh before answering, "Please; it's so obvious! Just the way you guys act around each other…your actions practically _scream _that this is the early stage of a relationship. How long have you been dating anyways?"

"A week." Benny answered.

"A week? Wow…and I never noticed?"

"Well, the night you came over we chatted over the phone and decided Ben wouldn't come over until you leave." Lisa answered, gaining confidence.

"So then why did he come over today?" Mark asked in confusion.

"Because I couldn't stay away." Benny grinned, giving Lisa's hand a squeeze. She blushed a bit and squeezed back.

"Ugh I said I was fine with it—I never said you had to be so gushy." Mark said in fake disgust.

All her confidence back, Lisa stepped forward and gave Mark a slight tap on the top of his head before telling the boys she was going to get drinks for the three of them. Mark gave a small smile, his whole being showing how okay he was with them dating…

That was until Lisa left the room; Mark instantly turned to Benny and indicated for him to sit. Benny complied instantly.

"Look…I just want to say something…Ben, Lisa's no Mimi. She might be dating you now…but I don't think much can happen with you guys unless—"

"Unless I break it off with Allison. I know Mark; she's already told me this." Benny smiled, looking down at his hands.

"I just—Please don't hurt her."

"Don't plan to." Benny said, looking serious.

Mark wanted to believe him he did…but with what happened with Mimi…

Just then Lisa re-entered the room, three beers in hand.

"Did I miss anything?" she asked, passing out the beers before plopping onto the couch and curling her tiny feet under herself.

Benny and Mark gave each other quick looks before saying at the same time, "Nothing."

Lisa just raised an eyebrow and took a sip of her beer.

**Ooh, weren't expecting that were you? :)**

**Well, I'm full of surprises :D**


	14. Oh Westley!

**Well, well, just as I was about to lose hope, I got a review :) Thanks 'The Fuzziest Panda' for that btw (cool name! XD)**

**Read my beauties and enjoy this incredibly fluffy chapter :D **

"I can't believe your making us watch a chick flick." Benny commented dryly as he cuddled with Lisa on the couch. Mark sat uncomfortably on the chair next to the couch, fidgeting more and more with each passing minute.

He was truthful when he said he didn't mind Lisa and Benny together…but with them cuddling on the couch while watching a 'romantic' movie was making him feel like both an intruder and it made him miss Roger even more terribly.

"This is one of her favourite pastimes." Mark commented, not tearing his gaze from _The Princess Bride._ But he was aware enough to see the lovers start. _They've already forgotten I'm here…great._

"…Really?" Benny asked, mildly interested.

Mark wanted to bash his face into his palm. _It was a rhetorical comment. Of course it was a rhetorical comment…_

That was when the imaginary shit hit the imaginary fan.

"You what guys," Mark began casually, getting up and dusting off invisible dirt from his pants, "I think I'm going to head out. Go make up with Roger and all that—"

That sure got Lisa's and Benny's attention. The problem was both were reacting differently. Lisa looked like she wanted to knock some sense into him, while Benny looked like he wanted to give Mark a standing ovation.

"Mark!" Lisa whined, wrestling out of Benny's arms. Benny didn't seem to like this change, but smartly didn't comment.

"What?" Mark asked, grabbing his scarf off a nearby chair.

"You can't _leave_!" Lisa said, sitting up and crossing her arms.

"Why not?" Mark asked, raising an eyebrow.

"_Because!"_

"Oh! That's the perfect reason!" Mark cried out sarcastically as he wrapped his scarf around his neck.

Lisa just rolled her eyes and got up. "C'mon; Roger supposed to learn a lesson here!"

"If I've learned my lesson, he must've learned his."

"What was your lesson?" Lisa asked, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"Whenever you get in my way, distract you with Benny."

Lisa scoffed and cried, "Speaking of Benny, I'm _sure _he agrees with me! Don't you Benny-boo?"

Mark and Lisa both turned to Benny, who was sitting on the couch while watching the fight take place. The moment they turned to him, Benny blanched, raised his hands and cried in surrender, "Leave me out of this!"

"I'll take that as 'I agree with Lisa'." Lisa said smartly, turning back to Mark.

Now it was Mark's turn to scoff. "_Please! _If was agreeing to anyone, it'd be _me_! We've been friends for what, 20 years?"

"So what?" Lisa asked hot-headedly, "I'm practically his fucking _girlfriend!_"

"You've only been dating a week!"

"So what?" Lisa repeated.

"I'm neither agreeing nor disagreeing with either of you! So stop it you two or I'll put you in a timeout!" Benny suddenly cried, shocking both Lisa and Mark.

The exclamation earned Benny a few seconds of silence before Mark asked, "You'll put us _where_?"

Lisa snorted and rolled her eyes, "In timeout. Apparently we're children now."

"Well, even you have to admit we were acting like it."

Lisa simply shrugged and turned to Benny. "Sorry Benny-boo. Didn't mean to put you the middle. I know you love the both of us too much to pick sides." She said, kissing Benny's cheek gently.

Benny just rolled his eyes and gave Mark a look. A look that said, '_Trust-her-to-romanticize-it'. _Mark just smirked, held up his hands and shrugged.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Roger, I'm desperate." Erika said out of the blue. She was lying upside down from the couch and was counting how many planks and dots were associated with the ceiling when she had spoken.

Roger was doodling in his notebook when she spoke and absentmindedly said, "I know you want a fix, but you ain't getting one."

"I don't wanna fix…" Erika said with a deep, controlled sigh and a frown, even though she obviously wanted one, "I'm desperate for you to make it up to Mark. I need a new form of distraction and he could distract me."

"I'm sorry, but our love life and my boyfriend weren't created to entertain or distract you." Roger commented, doodling a heart absentmindedly.

"I think I'm going to call him."

"You don't know the number." Roger said offhandedly.

"I know the speed-dial."

Roger looked up with a frown. "You wouldn't."

"I so would. Like I told you, I'm bored out of my fucking mind."

Roger's frown deepened and he commented dryly, "Can't you find your own form of distraction? Why do me and Mark need to distract you like your 5 years old?"

"Because; you told me you'd help me through this, and a distraction would help."

Roger gave a small glare. "Using me are you?"

"Yes." Erika smirked.

"You know, I could just kick you out." He threatened, now getting angry.

"Fuck you." Erika muttered, just as angry.

"Ditto." Roger murmured, going back to his doodle of a heart. Maybe he'd put wings on it…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"…_I could fly." _Buttercup said dramatically from onscreen.

"Yuck." Mark whispered, his nose scrunching up. Benny was smart and didn't comment, despite that fact that what Mark had said was his sentiments exactly.

"Oh c'mon!" Lisa cried in mock outrage after the initial squealing, "She can't help herself; this is the first time she saw Westley in years! After thinking he was _dead_!"

"It's still cheesy." Mark muttered.

Lisa scoffed and commented, "If it was _Roger _doing it, you'd be freaking out just as much as I am…"

"Oh shut up." Mark said, rolling his eyes.

_Knock knock knock_

The three looked up from their respective spots; Mark looked behind him from his chair and Benny and Lisa turned their heads from the couch.

"What the…?" Lisa muttered, getting up. It was after all late at night…And that's when it hit her.

She grinned and quickly got up. "Maybe it's your Westley now my dahling." Lisa cried dramatically to Mark as she practically skipped to her door. Mark didn't bother trying to stop her; it was already established that she answered her own door no matter who was visiting.

Lisa thankfully didn't keep him in the dark for too long. Mark knew the moment he heard Lisa cry out loudly in her over-dramatic flair, "Well _hello Westley!_"

Mark just rolled his eyes and quickly got up, hoping to stop Lisa before she did anything to permanently scar his boyfriend. Benny just smirked from his spot on the couch, not even bothering to try to stop his girlfriend.

Mark swiftly slipped from the room and walked calmly to where Lisa and Roger were. He could barely conceal a grin when he saw the pair.

Lisa was grinning mischievously with her hands on her hips and a smug look about her. Roger on the other hand looked clueless, confused and he looked like he'd rather be any place else as long as he wasn't within 10 feet of Lisa.

"Lisa, I'll take care of him. You go _cuddle _with Benny." Mark said, rolling his eyes yet again.

Lisa gave a small pout and whimpered, "But I wanna see—"

"_No_. Go." Mark said, pointing to living room. The irony that the two were yet again acting like children was not lost on Mark.

Lisa gave another more exaggerated pout, earning a risen eyebrow from Mark. When she finally realized there was no room for arguments, she gave a small stomp before walking haughtily to the living room. But not before Mark heard some profanities and something about him paying her back come from under her breath.

Mark just smirked in her direction before the reality of the situation hit him. He was in the same room as Roger. _Roger._ He looked Roger's way, only to his rugged rocker smiling slightly and devilishly handsome…or maybe that was only because Mark hadn't seen him in a long few days.

Whatever the reason, it was because Roger looked so amazing that Mark couldn't help what he did next. Before Roger could say a word, or even move from his handsome pose, Mark was grabbing him and holding him close. He breathed in the rocker's scent and suddenly Mark couldn't believe he hadn't left Lisa's place, gun blazing if need be, earlier.

After getting over the small shock, Roger quickly hugged him back and held him close. "Damn I've missed you." Roger whispered in Mark's ear. Mark grinned and kissed Roger lightly on the cheek, not needing words to express his feelings.

Roger pulled away with a grin on his face and said proudly, "We're never doing this again."

Mark laughed and nodded. "Obviously not."

"I…well, you know. I know now that if my gut's telling me to tell you stuff, just to tell you." Roger said, rolling his eyes.

"And I…Now I know acting out like a freaking' girl isn't a nice color on me."

Roger laughed heartily, his laugh a little scratchy (Mark thought this was from not laughing in awhile). "Just don't storm out before we talk things through and life will be a whole lot better."

"Agreed."

And, as if a gravitational force was pushing them, they both moved towards each other and captured one another's lips in a sweet kiss.

They were barely kissing for a few seconds before they heard a squeal behind them.

They both twisted, only to find Lisa peering from behind a corner with a goofy grin on her face. _Of course…_Both boys thought in unison, unbeknownst to them.

"Lisa, leave them alone." Benny suddenly said, and they could see him lightly tugging on her waist. Lisa pouted but didn't give much of a fight. Instead she gave a small huff, a "Fine." and then she was gone.

The reconciled couple stared after the two for a few seconds before Roger suddenly asked in a very confused voice, "Lisa and Benny?"

"I'll tell you about it later."

**I sure like these fights and makeups hey? :P **

**(P.S. It doesn't hurt anyone**__**if you press that little review button my dearies…Just one push, a word or two and then it's over. Consider doing it…for me? *pouts*)**


	15. Oh Brother :P

**Okay guys, one review is better than none :)**

**Anyways, the show goes on with another chappie :D**

**P.S. The fuzziest Panda—don't worry, no matter how many times one person reviews, it's not spam to me :) Thanks for reviewing again btw**

The next few days past better then Roger hoped.

When he and Mark got back home after the reconciliation at Lisa's place, it was a little awkward to say the least. Other than a few syllables, Mark refused to talk to Erika. At first Erika was happy Roger had brought Mark back…but once she realized that Mark was angry at her, she became uncharacteristically shy and respectful.

After a few days past though, Mark began finally to warm up to her (which triggered her thankfully returning to normal).

Mark seemed to realize that he knew what it was like to get to the point of relapsing, so like Roger did so long ago Mark forgave her. Sure, they didn't interact as much as Erika and Roger did, nor did they talk much, but they shared a mutual respect for one another.

They also shared an unspoken agreement; Erika wasn't to get drugs while under their roof and Mark wasn't to act like she was a child (even though in his eyes she sure was one).

This unspoken agreement worked for quite awhile…well in their terms anyways. In real life, it was only a week and a half, but with the week they had, it sure felt like awhile.

For how long it lasted didn't matter though. All that mattered was it lasted…at least, for awhile anyways.

~~~~~::~~~~~

Mark woke up to silence. Absolute silence. Well, almost. He could hear Roger's snoring but other than that…

The silence unnerved Mark.

Frustration took over his sleep-addled mind when he realized he didn't know _why _it unnerved him. He let himself relax and wake up for a few seconds before once again searching his brain as to why he was unnerved.

It was a few minutes before it finally hit him.

Mark quickly looked at the watch on his nightstand and vaguely thanked whatever God was out there that the moonlight was in just the right place to help him see it. _3:11 _it read. Mark sat up in lightening speed and strained his ears.

His nerves were rightly founded; Erika was usually up and doing something and distracting herself by this time of night. And since she was a human being, it only made sense for her to be making some sort of noise because of this. But there was only silence. Which didn't make any sense.

So it was either she was sleeping _very _well, or she was…

Mark didn't want to consider the other possibilities.

Mark got to his feet and sluggishly began walking to the bedroom door. When he got there, he looked behind him to make sure that Roger was still asleep…and he grinned when he saw he was still snoring away.

_Of course._ Mark thought with an adoring roll of his eyes, before remembering the task at hand.

Mark slipped from the room and lightly closed the door behind him. When outside the closed bedroom, he paused, just to make sure his nerves were legit. He did not hear a whisper of anything, so he quickly went over to the sofa and turned on the lamp beside it.

Light flooded the room and Mark blinked at the onslaught. After his eyes got used to the sudden light, he quickly surveyed the room to see if Erika just happened to be quietly shaking on the couch or something. But no girl was to be found.

Thoroughly worried now, Mark swiftly walked over to Roger's old room and knocked lightly. When he received nothing in response, he was quick to open the door. He no longer cared if she was sleeping or sick or whatnot; he simply wanted to make sure she was okay.

Once he opened the door, he carefully stepped inside—just in case she _was_ in fact asleep—and peered inside. The only thing that illuminated the room was a tiny lamp. Since he couldn't see much from that tiny lamp; that Mark assumed was from when Mimi was around, since it was a purple lacy lamp; Mark turned on the main light of the room with a grimace.

The tiny bulb that hung from the ceiling gave a few spurts of light before brightening up the room. Mark blinked quickly, getting as used to the light as he could before scanning the room for Erika. All he could see was was a few things of garbage, a window open and…

_Oh no_. Mark thought sadly, stepping fully into the room and staring at the empty bed in front of him. That meant—

Mark quickly turned around and scanned the living room for the front door. The front door was slightly ajar.

_Shit._

The evidence was all there; Erika was gone.

~~~~~::~~~~~

"So what? She's just gone?" Roger questioned, rubbing his eyes.

"Yes! She is. I wake up, check for her and she's just gone!" Mark cried, pacing back and forth in front of Roger.

Despite not being fully awake, Roger seemed to understand that Mark was freaking out about it. So he sighed, grabbed both of Mark's hands and whispered, "Mark, calm down babe."

"Rog! This is _your _friend! You should be freaking out too." Mark pointed out, still freaking out somewhat.

"Mark, look, this has happened before. She'll probably be back soon…" Roger said.

"When has this…Oh," Mark whispered, suddenly remembering when they returned home to see Erika high on the couch, "…Well…shouldn't we be out there, trying to stop her before she relapses again?"

"This is _her _life Mark. She should be able to choose whether to return to her drugs or not. If she wants to die as a junkie, then fine."

Mark's eyes narrowed and he stopped trying to get out of Roger's grasp on him. Roger knew then that if looks could kill, he'd be French toast.

"Yes, it is _her _life. But…she should not be able to choose whether or not to die a junkie. I mean, if we were given the choice, where would we be, huh?"

"Mark, don't start." Roger sighed.

"If _we _were given the choice at the height of our addictions," Mark continued, as if he hadn't heard a word Roger said, "we wouldn't be here, happy and in love would we? No…you would've been dead shortly after April bit the dust. And I…if I hadn't cut too deep or was murdered by a customer, I would've died of alcohol poisoning."

"Mark…"

"But thankfully, we had each other to get through it. And look at us now." Mark slightly smiled, despite the situation. Roger just sighed, but nodded resolutely. Mark of course was right, despite the fact that Roger still also believed that it was her choice to live or die a junkie. He wasn't going to fight it though; instead he'd support Mark, find Erika, and then fight for his point later.

But for now,

"Let's go find her Mark."

~~~~~::~~~~~

It was a chilly night in Alphabet City, despite the fact it was mid-May. Maybe it was because just an hour ago they were warm in their bed, but now they were prowling through Alphabet City looking for their friend.

About half an hour into their search and after they had searched through every alley within a few blocks of their building, Roger was about ready to give up and call it a night. But Mark held firm and had threatened to continue his search without him. Roger, not wanting Mark to be on his own, grudgingly decided to help continue the search.

Thank God they didn't give up; because around 20 minutes after this butting of heads, they heard a commotion in an alley near the Cat-Scratch club.

Both curious and concerned the two hurried over to the alley. They didn't know if it was their girl, but the possibility that it was was undeniable.

Within seconds they made it to the opening of the alley and the second they assessed what was going on they rushed into it. In the middle of the alley stood Erika, dirty and ragged, with a man grabbing her arm almost brutally. Erika was putting up a struggle but the man was quite obviously stronger.

"Hey! You! Let go of her!" Roger cried angrily as they ran to the duo.

The man looked up at them. Instead of running the moment he saw them, like Roger thought he would, he simply blinked at them before letting go of Erika and held up his hands.

"What the hell are you doing?" Roger demanded as he finally became close. Mark was still a little behind, but not too far behind. He just never was the best runner.

"Nothing." The man said roughly, slipping his hands into his pockets.

"Didn't look like nothing." Mark commented, finally catching up and halting beside Roger.

Erika finally spoke up for the first time, "Mark, Roger, relax. Nothing's going on." She said, glaring daggers at all three (Mark, Roger and the man) men.

"Yes something's going on; you're coming home." The man said angrily, glaring just as hard at Erika.

"What? What do you mean coming home?" Mark questioned, confusion on his face.

"You can't fucking make me. The moment I left home, you and ma lost _all _control over me!" Erika hissed, seeming to forget that Mark and Roger stood just a few feet from her.

"That's right, we did. **But **Uncle Marsh was 'posed to look after you. We relinquished control to him." The man cried.

"_That fat ass? __Please!_ Ma had more control over me than that bum." Erika cried right back, rolling her eyes with a dramatic flair.

"What the hell is going on?" Roger finally cried, having had enough.

Erika and the man seemed to finally remember the two existed; they stared at the couple for a few seconds before Erika muttered, "Rog, Mark, this is my big bro, Jet."

Silence reigned over the alley for a few seconds before Roger and Mark cried at the same time, "_What?"_

"I'm Jet; this girl's one and only brother." The man spoke up.

"This jerk is your brother?" Roger questioned Erika in shock. Jet instantly crossed his arms in defence and seemed to grow two extra centimeters in a few seconds. Roger slightly paled.

He wasn't prepared to take this guy on. Maybe when he was younger, strong and un-riddled with disease he could've taken this strong and obviously young man on—but now, twenty-five, AIDS-ridden and way too skinny? No way could he take this guy on.

"Yes, he is." Erika said dryly, eyeing her brother warily.

"And he'd appreciate not being called a jerk." Jet commented angrily.

"Shut up Jet; did you really think you could pull this without being seen as the bad guy?" Erika cried.

Jet opened his mouth, but before he could comment (and probably start another fight) Mark stepped in.

"Okay then; may I ask something? What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" Mark said pointedly at Jet before adding, "And what are _you _doing here in the middle of the night?" Mark looked pointedly at Erika.

For a few seconds the two looked like reprimanded 5 year olds before the man through the look aside. Instead he became edgier, angrier, tougher.

"It's none of your business." Jet growled.

Erika's reprimanded look seemed to dissipate as well with those words and she mutely nodded and whispered "Agreed," staying loyal and behind her brother.

"Says the little girl who worried me—us to death." Roger spoke up, looking pointedly at Erika and obviously tired of the childish actions coming from Erika and her—her _brother_.

"_Little girl? _What the hell are you on man?" Erika questioned.

Roger went to answer with an angry and profanity-filled reply when out of the blue…Jet of all people replied.

"They're obviously on nothing; you however are. And let me guess; you were able to convince these men that you're willing to quit that poison of yours?" Jet hissed.

Erika seemed a little taken aback that her own brother turned on her before saying, "It's my life and I can live it how I want."

"Well you won't be living it for very long if you don't change." Jet said sternly.

"Oh fuck you! I can do whatever I want. And I don't need _any _of you to help me or save me for that matter!" Erika hissed. She then went to strut off, probably in a dramatic way while the other three watched; but Jet wasn't having any of that. Instead he came up behind her while she attempted to walk away and grabbed her around her tiny waist.

He grabbed her in such a way that Roger was almost afraid he'd break a rib of hers by grabbing too hard. But thankfully, instead of Erika crying out in pain she cried out in rage and began to wiggle in her brother's grip.

"Lemme go! _Let me go!_" Erika screeched, which made Mark look around worriedly. After all, someone might hear or see them and assume that they were three thugs trying to hurt her. Roger though just looked amused at the two.

"What? You gonna tell mommy on me?" Jet asked mockingly, putting her over his shoulder.

"No; but I'll scream bloody murder. Just give me a fucking excuse Jetson!"

"Jetson?" Mark questioned, while Roger fought not to laugh.

"Let's get you to my hotel room." Jet said with a glare at the two boys, already beginning to walk out of the alley.

"Hotel room?" Mark questioned.

"Yeah. I wasn't planning on staying in New York long. Just long enough to track down this chick. And now that I have we're both heading back home."

"Well—" Mark began to offer. Roger grabbed his arm, trying to convey that maybe, just _maybe_, this offer (whatever it was) wasn't a good idea.

But Mark was never good at perceiving signals.

"Why don't you stay with us until you leave? Maybe we can all figure something out." Mark said, going up to Jet and Erika. Roger was instantly taken back by how small he was compared to Jet…and it kind of scared him.

Jet looked taken aback, probably from Mark's random offer. Roger was at well. In fact Roger was gaping in the background. _What are you doing Marky?..._

"Why would you do that?" Jet asked, going from curious and shocked to suspicious within seconds.

"Because…I'd like to figure something out. Talk a little bit. Because we've gotten to know and even like Erika this past while and I don't think it would be fair for her to be taken away just like that. So let's sit down, calm down and have a chat. All together." Mark said pointedly towards Erika.

Jet froze up a bit, and for a few panicked seconds Roger thought he was tensing up and preparing to hit Mark; but then surprisingly enough Jet sighed and nodded.

Mark smiled in relief and whispered, "Good. We'll show you the way."

**Yes, I'm adding another OC. Don't worry; he's probably the last one lol**

**Thoughts? Feelings? What do you think of Jet? You know the drill :D**


	16. Withdrawal Sucks

A few days later found Erika going through terrible withdrawal symptoms.

"Ugh! I want the fucking drugs!" Erika screeched, banging on Roger's door from her place on the inside.

Meanwhile Roger and Mark sat side by side on the couch; Roger softly played his guitar while Mark attempted to anxiously write something down. He was shaking slightly as he wrote…Roger thought it was from the girl's screeches and sobs and how they were so alike to Roger's from that long time ago.

Now that Roger came to think of it, if there were fewer bangs on the bedroom door, her episode almost reminded Roger of Mark's days.

"GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" Erika screeched. Thankfully that seemed like the last time because they heard a solid thump followed by sobs.

"That's good," Roger whispered, obviously trying to lighten Mark up, "That means she'll be quiet for the rest of the night."

Mark groaned and he sniffled lightly. Roger's eyebrows furrowed. Erika's withdrawal symptoms must be affecting his lover more than he had thought if he was sniffling about it.

"It's-it's worse when she's sobbing." Mark whispered, concentrating very hard on his notebook.

Roger was now officially getting concerned for Mark, simply because his very nature seemed to show something was wrong. But just before he could ask what was up, out of nowhere the front door opened.

…And in strolled Jet, strutting around like he owned the place.

Around half an hour earlier he had complained that he simply couldn't handle the sound of his little sister's screams. So he left as fast as his feet could take him.

But now he seemed to be back from his walk, and he smiled brightly when he heard the soft sobs instead of the screams.

"Hey! She stopped!" He whispered, as if afraid he'd ruin the stroke of luck he encountered.

"Yeah." Roger glared, putting an arm around an ever-so-slightly shaking Mark, who was now biting his lower lip.

Jet frowned slightly, showing the tiniest bit of concern before shrugging it off. It was obvious he had decided it wasn't worth his worry, which Roger couldn't blame him for. After all it was _his _little sister in there, suffering like mad—

"I hate you all!" They heard Erika attempt to yell from Roger's old room. They all quickly looked in surprise before reaching the conclusion that she was finally going to quiet down now.

But that didn't comfort Mark in the slightest.

Instead he put his face in his hands. Jet walked quietly over to the kitchen, having a sudden feeling _something _was going to happen.

And he was right.

When Roger went to comfort his sad lover, Mark shook his head and shook himself free of Roger's comforting arms. No, instead he stood up almost angrily and began pacing in front of the couch.

Roger and Jet waited for Mark to begin talking, like any upset person normally would. They weren't disappointed.

"Roger—Rog—I can't—Can't take it anymore! I mean…it was tough enough the first time! And now—" He wasn't able to continue however because the front door again opened, much to Roger and Jet's surprise.

In came a happy-go-lucky Lisa followed by a smirking Benny.

"Hello everyone!" Lisa cried dramatically, entering the room.

This instantly reminded Roger of Maureen. And she did what Maureen used to do; she was so infectiously happy that Roger almost grinned and Jet actually did. However Mark kept on pacing.

Lisa noticed this in her own time and gave a small frown.

"Pooh, Marcus, what's—"

"_Don't call me Marcus!_" Mark hissed before keeping on his pacing. Lisa looked shocked for the slightest seconds before her face visibly tightened up.

"Don't take that tone with me." Lisa said, putting her hands on her hips before coming forward. She quietly slipped in front of Mark's path and grabbed his wrists when he went to push her out of the way.

"Mark, sweetie, tell me what's wrong." She said hopelessly, looking into Mark's eyes. She could see the tears welling in them and the stress. But deep within them, almost hidden from view, she saw…hollowness. A defeated spirit.

"Honey…" Lisa whispered, at a loss for words and she came forward and hugged him as tightly as she could. Mark stiffened at first but slowly relaxed into the hug and even hugged back.

Lisa smiled when she felt his arms slowly rub her back. That meant he had pulled himself together for the time being. And that meant…

"I have a proposition for you." Lisa said proudly, pulling away from the hug.

Mark loathed the lack of comfort but never said a word.

"What?" he asked instead, giving her his fakest smile. And for once…she actually seemed to be fooled by it.

"I…want to go out to dinner tonight. We'll have cutie over here," she said, pointing to Jet who gave her a flirtatious smile in return (in response to that, Benny glared at him), "watch over the little sick girlie and you, me, Roger and Benny baby will go to the Life. A double date."

Mark's smile became a little less fake at the proposition. "I wish I could babe, but—"

"I'm paying." Benny chipped in.

"Well then me and Mark are happy to join." Roger grinned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**This seemed like the perfect place to cut off :)**

**Okay, okay, I know its short :P But you see I had one long chappie so then I cut it short so it wouldn't be like 3000+ words…Besides, it's worth the wait cuz the next chappie is going to be both long and…plot twist-y! So stay tuned and ****review**** people! **

**(And to my beautiful reviewers, this is a sneak peek of the next chappie:**

_Mark sighed in relief and hurriedly made his way to the bedroom. He decided on his walk home that he'd tell Roger. Of all of his friends and family, Roger was the first and most important person that needed to know…_

_Mark entered the room and sighed when he saw Roger on the bed with his arm strewn over his eyes. _

Asleep…Figures.

_Mark quietly moved around the room discarding his clothes. Since most of the time his back was turned, he never noticed Roger's eyes open slightly to peek at him._

_In fact it wasn't until Mark had discarded his shirt that he found out Roger was awake at all. _

_But when Roger did make himself notice, it was under the worst scenario._

"_Babe?"_

"_Yeah?" Mark questioned, twisting around to look at Roger. He was surprised about what he found._

_Roger was sitting up, his hair messy and his t-shirt wrinkled. But those things weren't what caught Mark's attention. What caught his attention were Roger's eyes. They were wide in shock and slightly shiny._

"_What is it?" Mark questioned._

**I purposely cut the next part off, simply because if I gave away Roger's question it might give away the plot point! XP I'm evil…)**

**Anyways, til next time,**

**PEACE! *makes peace sign***

**REVIEW AS WELL! It's the new pretty blue button at the bottom of the page!**


	17. What's on your Back?

**Yay the long chappie I promised :) Enjoy the plot twist-y!**

"Wow I haven't been out in awhile." Mark murmured. He seemed to look around at the café in awe. Roger just rolled his eyes and grabbed Mark's hand.

"That's what happens when you have kids." Lisa muttered nonchalantly, placing a napkin on her lap and avoiding Mark's gaze.

Because of that she missed Mark's glare.

"Hey, did you ever find out what brought the girlie to the city? Did you guys have a powwow and exchange pasts?" Lisa questioned as she slurped her rum and Coke, looking Mark square in the eye now.

"Not really…but I did find out a few things about their pasts," Mark answered, grinning at the loopy straw—that she had happened to bring along with her—she was sipping from.

"All they told us was that they're brother and sister, come originally Chicago, have a tough family life—" Mark began.

"And they both hate and love each other. It's wacky." Roger added, taking a big sloppy bite on a piece of French bread.

"Also, Erika left because her stepdad was an asshole." Mark also added. His boyfriend looked in surprise at him, only to receive a '_What? She talks to me too' _look.

"No offence to them but expected nothing less." Benny said, sipping his beer.

"But hey—we shouldn't focus on these things! My beautiful sweethearts have escaped their kids for the night; now it's time to par-tay!" Lisa grinned with a radiant smile.

"Seriously Lisa? Kids?" Mark questioned, making Roger snort.

"Well yeah…I mean you've been taking care of these kids so much it's almost as if they're your own." Lisa pointed out, taking a bite of her strawberry salad.

"Hey! Jet's way too fucking big and old to be _my _kid. He's probably Mark's from a previous marriage." Roger smiled.

"Mine? Please! Have you seen my body? I highly doubt I and my previous life partner birthed _that_." Mark said with a roll of his eyes. But Roger didn't seem to have heard the rest of the sentence past, 'Have you seen my body?'

"Yes, I have seen your body. And it's skinny and sexy and wonderful." Roger with an eat-shit grin and waggled eyebrows.

Mark and Benny choked—Benny on his beer and Mark on his own saliva—and Lisa just grinned and raised an eyebrow.

"I have taught you well my son." Lisa mocked with a low voice and high-fived Roger from across the table.

"You guys are crazy." Benny said, the first to get over his coughing fit.

"What's new?" Lisa and Mark asked in unison.

"Hear hear." Roger said, holding his own beer in mock salute before taking a drink.

"By the way…have you all decided what's going to happen?" Benny asked, eating a fry.

"What?" Mark asked, since Roger was currently swallowing beer.

"I mean…the brother is here to bring his little sister home right? So why isn't she gone yet?"

"Because we all sat down and discussed it—" Mark began.

"To keep it short," Roger stated, finally having completely swallowed, "we all decided that Jet will stay for a little bit and look at how we're handling things. If he doesn't like the way we're handling Erika, he'll walk away into the sunset with her."

"Okay okay!" Lisa said, slapping the table after the final chug of her rum and Coke, "As sweet as my two little struggling darlings are, this is your evening off chickies! From this moment on there shall be no more discussing them."

"Hear hear!" Roger cried, smiling and linking his arm with Mark's as he took another sip of his beer. Mark laughed and followed suit.

~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~

An hour or two later found three of the four laughing their butts off at a past memory Roger presented to the group. Something about Tom Collins running naked through the Parthenon.

Mark however was quiet.

He had a smile on his face and was nibbling the vegetarian sandwich he had ordered half an hour ago. But…he still had that emptiness in his eyes that Lisa had noticed earlier that night.

And again, it was Lisa who noticed it and spoke up.

"Baby cakes…Are you still sad?" she questioned as Benny wiped tears of laughter from his eyes and Roger got out his last few chuckles.

"What?" Mark questioned with his brows furrowed, surprised by the sudden attention on him.

"You look sad." Lisa commented, playing with her loopy straw.

"What? No…I'm not sad." Mark said, giving a reassuring smile. Or trying to anyways.

"Babe…" Roger said almost warningly.

"What?" Mark questioned for the first time.

"Look at me." Roger ordered. Mark gulped, but did as asked.

When Mark did turn to him, it was suddenly incredibly obvious that Mark was upset about something. How he hadn't noticed he didn't know…

Normally Roger would've assumed that Mark was probably upset by the mentioning of Collins and the old gang…But this look in his eyes, it was recognizable. Roger was actually pretty sure he had seen it before…During the past few days in fact.

"Mark? What's wrong?" Roger asked, worried now.

"Nothing is wrong with me." Mark whispered, his temper flaring in the slightest. Why wouldn't they all leave well enough alone?

The news would crush them…

Roger just scoffed and looked down at the table.

Lisa could feel the tension beginning to build at the table. It was almost as palpable as the soup she was eating. She wanted to stop any fighting before it started, but for whatever reason she couldn't get herself to speak up. Maybe it was because she knew they needed to let it out…maybe she knew that it was unavoidable.

Nothing was certain, except for one thing; she couldn't bring it in herself to stop it.

"You know," Roger began; looking at Mark was anger in his eyes, "You've been acting off these past few days."

"What? What the fuck are you talking about?" Mark asked, his eyes narrowing.

"I'm talking about you getting shaky and staring off into space and being on edge. That's what the fuck I'm talking about." Roger growled, tired of Mark dodging the point.

"So? I'm a little off—that doesn't fucking mean I'm upset."

Roger just raised an eyebrow before commenting, "I've known you since we were kids Mark; you can't hide from me."

Mark looked away from Roger's probing eyes and looked down at the table. His guilty conscious was weighing on him…he really should tell him. After all, didn't they promise to hold no more secrets against each other? But he just…He just had to deal with the news first before being the rock for everyone else. After all, they couldn't have their rock weak and crumbly in its center right?

He stared at the table for a few more minutes before he head Roger scoff and get up from his seat.

"I've gotta go. I'd rather deal with Erika then with this." Roger growled before storming out of the restaurant. Leaving behind a slightly shaking Mark and a shocked Benny and Lisa.

~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~

It wasn't until an hour a later Mark followed behind Roger.

It had taken 15 minutes for Lisa to fully calm down Mark. It had taken another 15 minutes for Lisa to give up on enquiring about Mark's secret. It had taken a half hour to get a nervous Mark to finish his beer and get back home.

Erika and Jet were asleep in their respective beds (Jet on the couch and Erika in the spare bedroom) when Mark came home…Roger was nowhere to be found. For a few, albeit not short, seconds, Mark slightly panicked. It wasn't safe to be outside at this time of night…

That was until Mark saw a dim light coming from their bedroom.

Mark sighed in relief and hurriedly made his way to the bedroom.

He had decided on his walk home that he'd tell Roger. Of all of his friends and family, Roger was the first and most important person that needed to know…

Mark entered the room and sighed when he saw Roger on the bed with his arm strewn over his eyes.

_Asleep…Figures._

Mark quietly moved around the room discarding his clothes. Since most of the time his back was turned, he never noticed Roger's eyes open slightly to peek at him.

In fact it wasn't until Mark had discarded his shirt that he found out Roger was awake at all.

But when Roger did make himself noticed, it was under the worst scenario.

"Babe?"

"Yeah?" Mark questioned, twisting around to look at Roger. He was surprised about what he found.

Roger was sitting up, his hair messy and his t-shirt wrinkled. But those things weren't what caught Mark's attention. What caught his attention were Roger's eyes. They were wide in shock and slightly shiny.

"What is it?" Mark questioned.

"W-What's on your back?" he questioned back, pointing to his lower back.

Mark didn't have to twist and take a peek to know what he spoke of.

"I-It's a lesion1." Mark whispered, putting down the shirt he was holding.

"A l-lesion? No. No; it can't be." Roger shook his head in denial.

"Rog." Mark cut off, "It is. I know what a lesion looks like. If not from all those pamphlets Lisa gave me then from those last few weeks with Angel…"

Mark took a deep breath, trying to maintain the calm he had worked so hard to collect the past few days.

"Roger…I'm dying."

**Oh God, **_**why **_**must I do this to Marky :( But I have to admit, I can't make myself regret it :)**

**Anyways, send the love (and a review pretty please :D)**

**1****For those who don't know what a lesion is, it is an indication of being sick and maybe even dying—in the case of peoples with AIDS/HIV of course. Not sure what it indicates for healthy people (if they even get them). Oh and by the way, I'm no doctor, so if I'm wrong about this please don't judge :( I'm just trusting what I've learned on the internet and through the RENT movie *shrugs***


	18. Tired and Sober Pt 1

**Yay! Half-way through the story…things are about to change my lovelies, so hold on tight!**

**P.S. I fully thank the people who have be favourite-ing and story-alert-ing my story :) Now the one thing I ask for from these people is one or two reviews—pretty please :)**

**Oh and pardon the little, random drabble in the beginning. I just couldn't help writing it :) It was a plot bunny that wouldn't go away…**

**But anyways, onto the story!**

**Act 2:**

Mark stared down at the man lying on his chest. He was sleeping soundly, his dark blond hair messy and greasy. His beard tickles Mark's bare belly, and Mark's shoulder was slightly sore from staying in one position for so long…

But he couldn't care less.

He liked having Roger sleeping in his arms…it reminds him that he's still on this earth, that he wasn't going anywhere soon. That Roger would keep him safe and sane until his time came…

That thought comforted him somewhat.

Mark sighed contentedly and kissed Roger lightly on the forehead. The older man grinned in his sleep at that touch. Mark grinned in return, even though his lover couldn't see it.

_God…when I die, I want to die here...in any place, but as long as I have him with me and near me._

As if Roger had sensed his dark thoughts, he whimpered ever so softly (so softly that Mark almost missed it) and cuddled even deeper into Mark's chest.

Mark had to control the laughter that bubbled into his chest. Roger was so cute when he showed his teddy bear side…Mark was both upset and pleased that he was the only person Roger showed this part to nowadays.

Mark looked up through the nearby window up at the sky. The moon shone brightly and it bathed the two in light. It was obvious from its placement in the sky that there was no way morning was coming anytime soon, so Mark closed his eyes and fell right back to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lucy! I'm _hoooommmmeee!_" Lisa called loudly as she entered the apartment many hours later. Benny was missing from her hand, which was quite strange…he was basically attached to her in some way almost every time they talked ever since the big reveal.

Before Roger could ask, Lisa answered, "Benny's at work. He insisted that he had only so many sick days. How about my pooh?"

"Mark? At work too; and so is Jet surprisingly enough." Roger frowned, making room for Lisa to sit on the couch when she gave a little wave (even though there were many other places to sit).

"Really? Cutie doesn't seem the type." Lisa commented, twirling her hair. Roger could've sworn at the moment she was the essence of Maureen (maybe a séance gone wrong was the culprit—). Before he could think about it any further though, Lisa snapped her fingers in front of his face.

Roger yelped and blinked rapidly.

"Answer me! What's Jet's job?" Lisa whiningly asked.

"He's a lead guitarist in this restaurant band. Jeez," Roger cried, rubbing the space between his eyes for no obvious reason.

"Really? So he's a younger you?"

"No; he's not a younger anybody really." Roger said, shaking his head. Lisa shrugged, letting it go, before a frown grew on her face.

"Where's baby girl?" Lisa suddenly inquired, looking around the loft.

"Asleep; now that the worst is over, she's catching up on sleep." Roger sighed with a slight smile. Lisa understood; it was practically a miracle that Erika got through the withdrawal at all. God knows if she had been left to her devices she would have given up on the first few days.

"That's great…but anyways, I wanted to ask; do you know what day it is tomorrow?" Lisa asked, getting excited all of a sudden.

"Um…the 24th?" he guessed.

"Nope," Lisa sing-songed.

"What? Lisa, I just checked the calendar like an hour ago—" Roger cried, rolling his eyes at her antics.

"_No!" _She whined, "You're ruining the fun!"

"Not my fault you're wrong." shrugged Roger, getting close to the point of getting annoyed.

Lisa sighed dramatically and said condescendingly, "It _is _the 24th…Therefore it is a special day."

"How?" Roger asked, now not really paying attention. He had already gotten bored of her antics.

"Because…what happened 6 months ago tomorrow to give reason to celebrate?" she hinted.

"Um…Christmas Eve?" Roger guessed, trying to fight the frown that was trying to fight through. Christmas Eve from half a year ago hadn't been a good one…So what on earth was there to celebrate?

"Exactly!" Lisa cried out.

When she got nothing more than a confused look, Lisa cried out again—except in frustration.

"Oh my God! _Really?_ Ugh!" Lisa looked about ready to hit her head on something.

"Yo! People are trying to fucking sleep in here!" Erika shouted almost angrily as she entered the room. She looked tired and with frustration at the two; if looks could kill, they'd be toast.

But Lisa wasn't the type of woman to lie down and take anything.

Instead of cowering, like Roger was slightly doing, she stood up and raised an eyebrow.

"You do know that you'd be respected more around here if you didn't use 'fucking' and 'asshole' all the time. Just because you use the words doesn't mean you're the badass behind them." Lisa said with a smirk, crossing her arms.

Erika just rolled her eyes, but used her smarts and didn't comment.

"But anyways," Lisa continued, as if she hadn't said a word to Lisa at all, "It's the _24__th_! Of _June!_"

"So?" Erika questioned, leaning against the back of the couch. Meanwhile Roger was frowning and staring into space, thinking hard.

Lisa just sighed because answering, " _So_—"

"It's been 6 months since Mark gave up drinking." Roger smiled, finally getting to Lisa's point. In return she grinned and fluffed up his hair, which earned a glare from him.

"_Mark _gave up _drinking_?" Erika questioned incredulously.

Lisa and Roger exchanged looks before nodding.

"Wow…I wouldn't've expected that of _him_." Erika said, obviously trying to hide her shock.

"Believe me babe," Lisa began, "our Marky-poo is not all sunshine and daises."

"How?" Erika asked, interested now.

"He only tells it to the people he has to," Roger pointed out when Lisa opened her mouth. She paused and then nodded along (something quite rare for her to do).

"Good idea; no betraying the trust. We'll just say that it was pretty tough shit. So tough that there's _still _stuff he refuses to tell _me_."

Erika frowned but didn't press forward—surprisingly.

"But let's forget that; all _I _know is that I think it's something to celebrate." Lisa grinned, deciding to ignore the past conversation.

"Agreed. I haven't been out of this hole for a whole fucking month. I need to get out!" Erika began excitedly.

"Who says you can come, munchkin?" Lisa asked with a raised eyebrow.

Erika gaped at her, clearly shocked and slightly angry. She was so angry she didn't even respond to Lisa. She just huffed and stomped away, back into Roger's room—or according to Lisa her "cave"_. _Like any other upset teenager, she slammed the door shut and the two in the living room heard a distinct frustrated yell come from the other side.

"You don't really plan on keeping her away do you?" Roger questioned, becoming slightly protective.

Lisa turned to him and gave a slight laugh, "No! I was just teasing the poor girl."

"Well don't okay? She has it a little tough at the moment; the least you could do is leave her alone." Roger reprimanded.

Lisa's raised eyebrow now turned to him.

"_She _has it tough? As I recall, just about every single one of us has shit goin' down—she doesn't deserve special treatment any better then you or me."

"Wanna bet?" Roger said, his eyes flashing.

"Dude, _seriously_? You're trying to pick a fight for no reason? Fine then; I'll just leave without telling you about my plans. I'll just leave you out of them and have Marky all to myself." With that Lisa began to walk away, her hands on her hips as she swayed towards the door. But she took her time though, since she just _knew _that Roger would call her back in 3…2…1—

"Tell me Lisa."

Lisa grinned and turned back. _Figures; he can't resist doing something for and with his honey-poo._

"Okay, so here's the deal; since you guys haven't had a decent meal in a long time—what I mean by decent I mean fancy—" Lisa corrected when Roger opened his mouth to protest, "I—me and Benny-boo were thinking that we'd take you to a nice meal. Also, Cutie and Little Miss Attitude over there could come too."

Roger smiled at her, impressed at the idea. It was true…ever since…_that_ night they hadn't been out all too often. Roger was way too worried and too protective now of Mark's health. Maybe though, just maybe, a night out with friends would do him good.

But before he could answer her, the loft's door opened to reveal a tired-looking Mark.

Surprised by his sudden appearance, Roger instantly looked at the time. It read _3:38pm._

_What? His work doesn't end until 6:00pm…_

As if reading his thoughts, Mark whispered, "They sent me home a little earlier than usual."

"Why?" Lisa questioned. Mark and Roger startled, suddenly remembering the presence of one Lisa Laveen.

"Um…" Mark started, before giving a little gulp and finishing his sentence, "I didn't get much sleep last night and they realized it was costing them more to keep me there then to not."

That was an absolute lie, because both Roger and Mark knew that he had actually slept in and was almost late for work.

"Oh, okay…Honey, are you sick?" Lisa questioned, going quickly into Mother Hen mode.

"No, no, I'm fine…I'm just going to catch up on some sleep." Mark shrugged slowly, instantly dropping his coat to the ground and walking over to him and Roger's bedroom.

"Oh-kay…see you later…" Lisa whispered as Mark gave her a small smile and shut the door.

"Is he really okay? He seems…tired. And a little pale."

"I-I don't know." Roger easily lied. He couldn't tell her…it'd break her heart and he'd be breaking his promise to Mark by doing it.

"_Please don't tell _anyone _about this…I don't need the pitying looks I'd receive or the motherly smothering from Lisa…"_

"Well, find out for me okay?" Lisa questioned, getting up.

"Where're you going?" Roger questioned, frowning but also thankful.

"So you can find out silly!" Lisa answered. When she received an incredulous look, she added, "And to see if Benny-boop is home."

"Ahh…well have fun being a mistress!" Roger called as Lisa left. She gave him a final vulgar gesture before dramatically walking away.

Roger didn't wait a second before getting up and walking quickly over to the bedroom. He slipped in quietly and took in Mark's appearance. It was obvious he was border-lining on sleep. Knowing he had to act fast, Roger quickly slipped into the bed with him and wrapped his arms around him.

Mark smiled softly into his pillow.

"How was work?" Roger whispered into his ear.

"Fine." He sighed.

"What really happened to make them send you home?"

"I somewhat told the truth…They sent me home because I was practically dragging my feet everywhere." Mark yawned.

"Oh Mark…" Roger sighed sadly.

"It's okay…they gave me the day off because they thought I was sick. I'll catch up on—_yawn_—sleep, and I'll come in tomorrow…happy and—_yawn_—awake."

Roger decided not the call upon the big elephant in the room;

That it _wasn't _going to get better.

No matter what Mark did, no matter how much sleep he caught up on, no matter how many good days they had where he was fine…AIDS wasn't a cold. It wouldn't get better no matter how much you pray, rest, sob or take medication.

This was only going to get worse.

But, not wanting to have to deal with that thought right away, he whispered, "That's right silly boy. Now go to sleep and be ready for your special day tomorrow."

"Hmmmmm…what?" Mark whispered, opening his eyes slightly.

"Nothing." Roger smiled, kissing his forehead and snuggled up to Mark's back. Maybe he'd take a nap too…


	19. Tired and Sober Pt 2

**Okay, I just recently realized that I've been kind of a jerk to my beautiful readers. **

**One, for begging for reviews constantly (I'll try to stop) and **

**Two, I kind of kept you guys hanging for Ch. 16. I gave this **_**wham!**_** line and then I fast-forwarded about a month the next chapter. I want to explain; no matter **_**how **_**many times I wrote that piece, it **_**did not **_**feel right. Everything was just…wrong. So I figured I could show you what happened **_**after **_**all the angst. Now, if you guys feel cheated out, lemme know and I'll try to explain what went down in that month either in a chapter or a summary. If you're okay about it then…you can be left to wonder :)**

**And finally three, I haven't updated in forever. I plead that I'm SO BLOODY SORRY! Normally in the summer my stories bloom but I've been too fucking busy :( I'll try to update more!**

**But anyways, continue on;**

"Ooh! I can't wait until his shift is over!" Lisa squealed, jumping up and down excitedly.

"Relax Liz; he'll be up here soon." Benny smiled, kissing her temple lightly as she slowly calmed down.

"Speaking of which when does his shift end?" Erika questioned as she entered the small circle along with Jet. They were just looking over the side of the roof of the _Libertà di cuore_, probably to gawk at all the different types of people who entered Mark's workplace.

"In about…a couple of minutes." Roger said, looking down at Benny's watch.

"Yay!" Lisa giggled happily, to which Roger and Benny rolled their eyes.

Then everyone went their separate ways; Lisa with Benny, Erika with Jet and Roger alone to await Mark.

_It's strange to be up here,_ Roger mused as he stared out into the night, _after so much has happened. Has it _really _only been a month?_

He was thinking of Mark's birthday, barely little more than a month ago; where there was no Erika or Jet, no Benny and Lisa dating, no Mark's job, no...lesion…just a romantic candlelight dinner between two lovers. _Damn_…He didn't yet know if he missed those days or preferred these days.

"Hello guys."

Lisa gasped and turned quickly, clenching onto a grimacing Benny. Erika and Jet turned and gave big innocent-looking smiles. Roger turned and grinned ecstatically.

"Surprise!" Lisa cried dramatically, practically skipping over and hugging Mark enthusiastically.

"It's not really a surprise if the…surprisee already knew you were up here." Mark pointed out with a smile.

"Surprisee? That can't be a word." Lisa said with a roll of her eyes as everyone joined them.

"You never know."

"How did you know we were up here?" Erika questioned.

"There are no secrets at my workplace." Mark said with a roll of his eyes.

"Dang it!" Lisa whispered, making Mark grin and put an arm over her shoulders.

And with that everyone came forward to hug or greet Mark…all except Roger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey babe." Mark whispered with a smile, when he finally came forward and kissed Roger's cheek softly. Roger smiled in return.

"Well…I finally have you all to myself." He said with waggled eyebrows, indicating to everyone else that it was time to leave the two alone. Now everyone was either awkwardly beginning to mingle or helping set up supper.

Mark laughed happily and whispered back, "Now that I do have you alone…what are we celebrating?"

"What?" Roger asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"I know we're celebrating…but what are we celebrating?"

"Well…" Roger began, turning Mark and then proceeding to wrap his arms around his waist, "We are celebrating the fact that you are officially 6 months sober."

"…What?" it was now Mark's turn to ask with furrowed eyebrows.

"6 months today…you promised to stay off drinking. You have. Congratulations."

Mark was silent after this, staring blindly into space. He did so until he seemed to reach a conclusion about something and smiled.

"I did. I did it…" he whispered softly, grinning and kissing Roger just as softly.

"Yes you did…" Roger grinned back, kissing Mark back.

And it was in the middle of this kiss when they heard it. A _whirrrring _noise. Confused, they pulled away from one another…only to see a happy Lisa behind Mark's camera, taping everything.

"Lisa." Mark warned, his mother hen instincts kicking in when his camera was involved.

"What?" she asked innocently, still recording.

"Give me back my camera."

"Why?" she grinned. On cue, Mark tried to lunge for it, but she was too quick for him.

"Please give it back." Mark whined, not bothering to try to physically get it back. He was way too…drained to keep up with her lithe body.

"Why?" she repeated.

"Because you love me?" Mark questioned.

"Yeah. But no." she rolled her eyes, backing up.

"Because…you pity me?" Mark asked, following along just to make sure if she dropped it, he'd be ready.

"Never." She shook her head.

"Because…you want to call me Marcus don't you?" Mark stated, apparently annoyed by now.

"Always do. But that's not the magical word." She sing-songed.

"Then what the hell is?"

"Give it back Lisa; this is Mark's night and it's the only nice thing to do." Roger pointed out, proceeding to wrap one of his arms around Mark in a comforting gesture.

"Ugh. Fine. You guys win. But I swear…you need to get more footage time in. You're great in front of the camera, so it's the least you could do." Lisa mumbled, giving the camera away reluctantly.

Mark received it was a grin and instantly began taping things around himself. Lisa just rolled her eyes, and Roger—well Roger just shook his head with a grin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ooh! Fries!" Erika grinned as she chomped down ungracefully into her appetizer. Everyone had sat down for supper about 20 minutes earlier and now everyone were feasting like kings yet eating like animals.

"It's like you've never eaten a proper meal before." Lisa commented from her place beside Mark.

"Her last meal was a bowl of sugary cereal; and if I remember correctly, her last good meal was when she was in _Chicago_." Jet added pointedly to Erika, his table manners just as bad as his sister's.

"Well withdrawal makes it fucking hard to focus on what I'm eatin'." Erika added as well, taking another bite of fries.

"_Anyways,_" Benny interrupted when Lisa's eyebrows furrowed and her mouth opened, "how was work Mark?"

"Same old, same old. Serving people food that I'd adore to eat." Mark shrugged, looking at the table in front of him with hunger.

"Well then…today will be different, because you can eat whatever you want." Lisa said excitedly, bouncing up and down in her seat.

"No I can't…I probably couldn't afford half the stuff on the menu." Mark pointed out, eating the appetizer they had brought out.

"Uh, hello, Benny." Lisa and Roger spoke in sync, high-fiving each other when they got it right.

Benny just smiled dryly and waved to Mark. Mark smiled back apologetically before taking a small bite of the fries being shared between him and his lover. Roger's eyes instantly became concerned (_he's eating less and less…_) but before he could convince Mark to eat a bite more, Benny was saying,

"Relax Mark. You don't have to worry. I can afford feeding you bohemians."

"I don't know how you can afford so much." Mark commented, putting down the fry he was nibbling on. Roger gave a small glare, wanting at least Mark to finish _a fry_, but his glare went unnoticed.

"I'm allowed a monthly allowance every month by Allison's father. I can spend it whichever way I want; include feeding you fine people." Benny answered, lifting his drink in the air before swallowing it.

Lisa's eyes darkened at the mention of Muffy. Even if only her fatherwas actually mentioned.

Despite that though, Benny instantly went on damage control.

"Lisa, you _know _I'm going to break it off with her. I just want to—"

"Save like the good little saver you are! I know I know _I know!_" Lisa began, beginning to cover her ears.

Mark grimaced, knowing something was going to go down now. At _his _celebration. A night where he was supposed to finally not worry and relax…the first time in a long time. But of course with his luck…

Thankfully though before Mark's self pity-party could continue, Roger broke in, "_Stop_." That's all he had to say. Simply, "_Stop._"

After a quick pause Lisa instantly looked guilty and she began to apologize. "I'm _soooo _sorry pooh—"

"Relax babe…It's fine." Mark shrugged.

"No it isn't." she slightly glared, before reaching over and grabbing his hand. "I love you sweetheart." Lisa whispered in a very apologetic tone.

"I love you too." Mark answered with a smile, trying his hardest to not let his thoughts veer into negative grounds again.

"And I love you too!" Roger cried dramatically.

Mark just grinned and kissed Roger's cheek. "Ehhh…I just like you a lot." Mark shrugged before turning back to Lisa and Benny with a grin.

Roger just gave a playful frown at Mark's barely-controlled-by-gel hair before giving him a gentle swap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good night my handsome chico!" Lisa crooned to Mark as they all got to the front door to the building.

"Good night." Mark smiled, kissing her cheek when she went into kiss his.

Both Benny and Roger eyed the two wearily, as if worried what they might do in such close proximity.

Lisa and Jet had already waved good night and were making it up the stairs.

Wanting to catch up with them, Roger leaned against Mark and whispered in his ear, "C'mon hot stuff. Time to get upstairs."

Giggling, Mark cried, "Goodnight!" happily to the other couple. Benny and Lisa just rolled their eyes before quickly exiting the building. They knew when Mark began to giggle something was most likely about to go down. Something they definitely didn't want to see.

Benny and Lisa were right of course; the two lovers barely made it up the stairs without long and passionate kisses and loud laughter.

They were having so much fun that they didn't even notice the unusual silence of the loft until they were in the doorway.

Normally nowadays the loft was never silent; with Jet's playfulness, Erika's rebelliousness, Lisa obnoxiousness, Benny's sighs, Roger's strumming and Mark's laughter, the apartment was never quiet.

Which was why Mark and Roger froze once they entered the loft. The silence was deafening and they were both instantly worried.

They looked up and saw Erika standing there with a frown and crossed arms, while Jet looked ready to change into the Hulk. Confused the two instantly looked around the apartment, looking for something out of place or strange…

It only took a few seconds for the lovers to spot it.

"Hello."

**Meh, I'm okay with this chappie. It didn't turn out the best, but I personally think it's a good opening to the next few chapters. Besides, we've needed a little fluff in this piece (there can't be angst all the time can there be? Even though Mark-angst definitely is a yummy type of angst…as my only reviewer pointed out lol).**


	20. Joanne

**Damn you guys; I'm SO sorry for the lack of updates! My only excuse is that I've had some troubles in my life lately that distracted me from certain things including this story. So please be patient for the next couple of chapters. I'll try my best to be constant like our dear Mark here :P **

**By the way loves, I know I probably don't deserve them, but reviews shall always be appreciated :) But anyways, back to the story;**

_**Recap:**_

_**It only took a few seconds for the lovers to spot it.**_

"_**Hello."**_

"Um…who the hell are you?" Erika asked angrily, looking just as ready to storm forward and kick some butt like Jet was.

"And what the hell are you doing in our loft?" Jet asked angrily.

"Guys relax…" Mark began tiredly, "She's just an old…friend."

"A friend who left us high and dry when we needed her the most." Roger burst out. Mark looked over and was surprised to see Roger almost livid. Mark couldn't blame him…after all, what he said was true. But he had no right to be so angry at her.

"Roger…Mark…It's…I'm…" Joanne tried to begin, but her words seemed to fail her.

Roger's words certainly didn't fail him.

"What are you doing here? Why the fuck are you in our loft? I think you should get the h—" Roger began to rant, his eyes narrowing dangerously. But thankfully, Mark was able to stop him from saying anymore.

"Rog…babe please calm down." Mark whispered, rubbing Roger's arm gently. Roger seemed to slightly calm at his words but that did not stop him from glaring at her.

Meanwhile, Jet and Erika had snuck into Erika's bedroom…after all, by the sound of things they had no right to be there.

A polite thing to do actually, considering the circumstances.

"I came here to see you guys…I'm sorry I left. I just…needed to get away and think. You would understand Roger." Joanne finally said, looking pointedly at Roger with the tiniest of glares.

Roger seemed to fume at her words. Not just because they were disrespectful in his eyes, but also because they were true. When Mimi was dying, he did run away. Ran away so far and for so long as he could…and he was going to stay that way, but Mimi and Mark had beckoned him back like a moth to a flame.

_I guess I do understand…_

But that still didn't mean Roger had to like it.

"That doesn't mean shit and you know it." Roger cried in frustration.

"You know it does—you did the exact same thing! Except my spouse was actually dead—"

"So what?! At least I wasn't gone for a year—!"

"Stop it! Both of you!" Mark suddenly cried, surprising them both. They looked over and could see he was both tired and upset at the same time. He looked like a child who didn't want his parents to fight anymore.

"I-I am tired. I'm going to bed. You can stay the night Joanne, if you want to. I personally don't mind. Now please…don't fight. And if you do, please keep it quiet." Mark whispered with sadness in his eyes. But that didn't stop him from being polite and nodding a goodnight to the two before shuffling to his and Roger's bedroom and shutting the door.

Joanne and Roger remained silent for a few seconds, giving each other small glares and guilty looks.

It wasn't until Roger couldn't take the silence anymore did he spit out, "I personally think you should leave."

"Why?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"Because…Mark doesn't need a runaway friend. He doesn't need to be disappointed anymore." Roger stated protectively.

"Oh really? What are you still doing here then?" Joanne asked with a raised eyebrow, seemingly asking '_What else you got?'_.

Roger gave a small glare before taking off his jacket and throwing it angrily on the couch.

"Fuck you…I've learned my lesson! I don't think you have learned yours yet though!" Roger pointed out, crossing his own arms.

"So now we're back to childish swearing? It definitely seems like you've learned your lesson…" Joanne also pointed out with a smug yet annoyed persona.

"Well, if we are back to that; fuck you, screw you, to hell with you and lastly get the hell out of my loft!" Roger cried, pointing towards the door.

"Roger…do you not know what quiet means?" a girly voice suddenly whispered. The two looked over to see Erika in the doorway with Jet close behind her.

"What?" Roger asked, this time in a whisper.

"The one thing Mark asked of you two was to keep quiet if you fight. And the last I heard, you were both practically yelling. So would you please…just stop you two." Erika whispered, looking pityingly at Mark and Roger's bedroom door.

"But—" Joanne and Roger began at the same time, but Erika was having none of it.

"Roger, go to bed. Whatever-your-name-is, go to the couch. You two should sleep, relax and _talk _in the morning like civilized adults. Now, goodnight to you both." Erika said condescendingly, eyeing the two like a parent would their children when they've behaved badly.

"Whatever." Roger muttered angrily, turning away from all of them and stomping to his room. But thankfully, despite his anger, when he stomped into his room he was kind enough to shut the door gently behind him.

"Relax; he's just…being a jerk. He'll get over it." Erika shrugged, getting as close to comforting as she ever would.

"Thanks." Joanne nodded, looking awkwardly around herself.

"Um…yeah, I believe there's a blanket already on the couch. You can just crash there I guess. You all can talk normally in the morning." Erika said in return before retreating back into her room and helping Jet set up his bed on the floor.

In the other room, Joanne sighed dejectedly before following orders.

Within a couple moments she was lying awkwardly on the couch, thinking.

_Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all…_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, Roger had closed the door gently behind himself, still huffing angrily. Mark seemed to sense his lover's distress because he was instantly fully awake, rubbing his eyes.

"…Rog…"

"Go back to sleep babe." Roger practically growled, taking off his shirt.

"No Rog…Are you okay?" Mark asked, sitting up.

"No I'm—I'm definitely fucking not." Roger growled, beginning to pace.

"…I-I thought you would be happy about this. I thought you would think it was good that the last living member of our old group is here, apologizing no less."

"That doesn't excuse her running off like that!" Roger cried, kicking some clothes away that were in the way of his pacing.

"You do know that's very hypocritical of you." Mark pointed out.

"I _know_! But I still fucking hate it!" Roger cursed.

"Why? You of all people understand her; you've been in her shoes. I thought of all people you'd be welcoming her back and forgiving her. I don't get why you're acting out." Mark whispered, rubbing his tired eyes. He needed to remain awake, no matter how tired he was…he had to help out Roger and calm him down. Besides, he's done it before. It's not like it was a new and hard thing for him to do.

"Because—because with her not around, a lot of shit that went down all those months ago wouldn't have happened if she was here." Roger mumbled, stopping in place and looking down at is feet.

"What do you mean?" Mark asked, thoroughly confused.

"I mean…if she hadn't left, you wouldn't've had to…throw yourself out like that to get money." Roger whispered, trying to find the right words.

"Hon," Mark laughed with a shake of his head, "I wouldn't've had it any other way."

"What do _you _mean? If-If you hadn't had to-to whore yourself out, you wouldn't have contracted AIDS. You wouldn't have even begun to drink. You might not of even began to cut!"

"We might not have happened." Mark whispered sadly, looking down at his hands.

Roger looked down at him when he heard the whisper and sighed when he saw what he had caused. Feeling guilty he sat down beside his lover and held his hand gently in his own. Mark sighed back and looked up into Roger's hazel eyes.

"I just-I just can't bring myself to regret those hard months. Because if I do, I'm basically regretting us." Mark confessed, squeezing Roger's hand.

"Babe, there's no reason to think _we _wouldn't have happened if things hadn't happened the way it did—"

"But it's a possibility and—and if I could go back in time, I wouldn't take the chance."

"Think of all the things that wouldn't have happened though! If none of it happened, you could've probably had this amazing, perfect life—!"

"I'm already having an amazing, perfect life." Mark commented, looking down at his and Roger's hands.

"That's not what I mean! I mean, maybe you could've found an amazing boy or girl to settle down with outside of us. You could've adopted or had many beautiful children. You could've gone on to be a famous filmmaker or director or writer even! You could've gone on vacations to Fiji and Paris and—you could've found a cure to AIDS or something. You could've lived a long happy life." Roger said wistfully, getting caught up in the 'What if's'.

He was only brought back down to earth by Mark's hurt look. Roger's grin turned into a frown and his face practically asked, '_You okay babe?'._

"I-I just…honestly, I wouldn't want that. As good as it sounds—and I admit, it does sound good—I just can't imagine any other life other than this one. I can't imagine any other path. _No other path, no other way…_Normally I'd say forget regret, but I have _no _regrets." Mark said proudly, more impassioned then Roger had seen him in months.

"No regrets?" Roger questioned, kissing Mark's hand softly.

"Not one my love." Mark whispered, kissing Roger's forehead gently.

Roger smiled slightly and kissed Mark sweetly on the lips.

"Man I love you." Roger chuckled into the kiss, making Mark smile.

"I know."


	21. We're Okay

**I didn't take too long this time right? Hope not! Anyways, here's the next chappie:**

Mark shut the door behind him quietly the following morning, hoping not to wake Roger up. He knew when Roger woke up, confrontations were to ensue. He wanted to postpone that as long as possible.

"Morning."

Mark looked up in surprise when heard the voice. When he did, he saw Joanne sitting dutifully at their kitchen table, drinking some coffee and reading the Village Voice.

"Morning!" Mark whispered, suddenly quite cheerful.

_She hasn't left…I have to admit, I'm quite surprised. I'd expected her to be long gone by now…_

"Coffee?" Joanne offered, pointing towards the hot plate where some coffee resided.

"I would love some actually." Mark smiled, strolling happily over to the coffee pot.

Joanne just stayed silent, smiling in the slightest at Mark's excitement.

After retrieving some yummy coffee (_Our coffee has been bitter for the past few months…maybe Jo brought her own stuff) _Mark took his time to walk over to his usual seat at the table. The reason he took his time was…he knew the moment he sat down, she'd most likely want to talk. Or worse, ruin the sudden good mood he had somehow acquired.

But this wasn't the case; all she did was pass him over a piece of her Village Voice and a piece of a bagel he hadn't noticed before.

For this Mark was thankful.

And for the next half an hour—as the room brightened with the day, as they sipped their coffees, as they read about what was going on in Alphabet City, as they nibbled on their halves of the bagel—they both sat in uttermost peace.

Mark almost found his mind going back to the good old days, where they did this often.

It felt _so _good after such a long and hard time in his life. To go back in time and feel the peace he did then, with all of his best friends alive and well and with a clean bill of health…

This mood was shattered however when Joanne suddenly spoke.

"I've missed you."

Mark looked over his newspaper and saw Joanne had put down everything and was staring at him intently.

"I have too." Mark whispered, putting down the newspaper reluctantly.

"I've missed all of this…the loft, Alphabet City, the Life Café, you both…" Joanne listed, looking like she truly meant it.

"I understand…I would too." Mark answered, feeling the awkwardness beginning settle in.

"Mark…aren't you angry at me?"

"What?" he asked, the question catching him off guard.

"Aren't you angry at me? I mean, if you're as angry as Roger is, you sure aren't showing it." Joanne explained, crossing her arms.

"I guess I am…I mean, you should've stayed long enough to say goodbye at least. But…I can't hold a grudge. Not anymore. I just want to live my days in peace and happiness now." Mark said unapologetically and truthfully.

"What do you mean?" she asked, looking completely confused and put out.

Not knowing how else to break it to her, he simply went with, "I'm dying."

Now, he didn't know _why _he told her. After all, out of all the people he knew, he knew his new friends should be told. They after all cared for him and would want to know if one of their best friends were dying.

Yet it was _Joanne _of all people he told first (outside of Roger).

He guessed it was because he knew she wouldn't tell any of his friends. Maybe it was because he was caught up in the mood of the past, maybe he felt open and truthful because of it.

He didn't know why…but it didn't matter all too much, since it was already too late to take back.

"I…I…_Oh._" Joanne whispered, sounding heartbroken.

"I'm sorry to be so frank. I just needed to tell _somebody _other than Rog—"

"It's okay Mark. I'm fine. I-I just hadn't expected it," Joanne whispered, her eyes shining for the first time in front of Mark, "What-What are you dying of?"

"AIDS ironically enough." Mark chuckled, even though it was far from funny.

"Of all things…" Joanne agreed, her eyes thankfully dulling until there was barely any shine.

_That's…that's goo—great actually. Because…I'm so tired of being that guy. I don't want to be the rock anymore. Maybe Joanne will do it now…Take the torch so to speak._

"Are we okay, Mark?" Joanne suddenly asked.

Mark frowned and stared at the table. Were they okay? _After all…she did leave. And I'd be in my right mind to be angry at her and shun her back. But…I'm not Roger. I'm not good at keeping grudges and being mad—even if I should be. I've always been a sucker for my friends…Besides, what I said before is true. I have no time left in my life to hold grudges. _

So with a genuine smile Mark said back, "We're okay, Joanne."

She grinned back and in an uncharacteristic fashion she jumped off her chair and went to hug Mark tightly. It was definitely strange (even in the good old days, Mark didn't hug Joanne all that often) and kind of awkward…but Mark happily hugged her back a few seconds later.

And as they held each other in the middle of the loft, Mark couldn't help the smile on his face and the thought, _We really are all okay._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roger rubbed his tired eyes gingerly, giving a great yawn in protest as his mind told him to get up.

_It's not fucking fair…I barely slept before all of this as it was. Now I barely survive on a couple hours a night. Mark, why do you do this to me? _He thought to himself, bringing himself to his feet.

His stiff limbs gave protest but his racing mind knew he wasn't sleeping anymore. Not after waking up to the loss of Mark in his arms.

He had woken, barely five minutes earlier, to no handsome carrot-headed man in his arms; this gave him quite a start.

He damn well almost died.

He thought for a sure second that Mark was already dead and he'd been dreaming these past few months. He was just about ready to go track down The Man—

But then he heard Mark's soothing voice from the other room and his whole body had sagged with relief.

And now, he tried to get his ears to process the words being spoken properly, so he could figure out why his lover was out and about so early.

"I'm dying." Was the first thing he heard in Mark's frank tone.

Roger his angrily and flinched away from the door he was listening through. The words literally stung his very fucking soul, if he even had one.

And then he questioned…why was Mark saying these words? Why tell _Joanne _of all people instead of his real, true best friends?

"I'm sorry to be so frank. I just needed to tell _somebody _other than Rog—"

Roger frowned before trying to hear harder. What did Mark say? What did he _think _he heard Mark say? Because his Mark wouldn't insult him, or unintentionally insult him as it were. _Tell someone _other _then me? What's wrong with me?_

"It's okay Mark. I'm fine. I-I just hadn't expected it…What-What are you dying of?"

"AIDS ironically enough." Mark chuckled almost darkly.

_It's not funny Mark._

"Of all things…" Joanne agreed, making Roger more angry then before. Why isn't she freaking? Why isn't she bawling? Why isn't she doing what Lisa would do or Benny would do or basically _what a fucking friend would do?!_ Why was she being such an _insensitive bitch?!_

"Are we okay, Mark?"

"We're okay, Joanne."

And then, he didn't even have to look—he just _knew_, they had a bone-crushing hug that belonged in some cheesy blockbuster film. Normally it probably would've, except the filmmaker was currently in the shot.

Roger sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

So this was it…no turning back now. No getting pissed for no reason, no getting angry and holding grudges. The conversation that had just happened outside had just sealed the deal;

He was going to have to get friendly with Joanne.

He couldn't in right conscience hold a grudge against her, not with knowing he'd be angering his love.

…In short, he was screwed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mark and Joanne were conversing happily, chatting about Jo's teenage niece and how easy teens had it nowadays when they heard a door creak open. Mark instantly turned with a smile, knowing that creaking door from anywhere.

He knew his assumptions were correct when Roger shuffled into the room. He was rubbing his eyes and yawning, as if he was just waking up, but Mark knew better. It was almost painfully obvious (to him anyways) that Roger had been listening this entire time. So he knew he might have to deal with a little bit of a storm later.

Overall though his love didn't seem all that peeved or upset…was that a good thing? Was it quiet anger or was he angry at all?

All of this was annoying and confusing Mark to no end.

"Good morning Roger." Joanne said hesitantly, obviously unsure about where she stood with Roger.

_Please Rog, don't do anything stupid. Don't do anything petty. Don't do anything hurtful. Please please please—_

"Good morning Joanne. Have a good sleep?" Roger questioned, immediately going to the coffee pot.

Joanne gave a surprised look to Mark, who shrugged. He was just as surprised and confused.

"Um…yeah. But that couch hasn't gotten anymore comfortable over—it's as comfortable as a forest floor." Joanne muttered, quickly stopping herself from bringing up the fact that she was gone.

Roger tensed for a quick second before it suddenly drain from him as if it was never there.

Mark frowned and gave him a questioning look…but Rog just shrugged it off.

_Strange…_

"It always has been that way. I remember having to bunk there when the band still lived here and I had to give up my bed so the drummer could fuck some chick. It wasn't pleasant." Roger muttered, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Oh…okay—I mean, interesting." Joanne said with a self-assured nod.

Mark frowned at her in confusion before saying, "Jo, you don't have to suck up to this guy." His bluntness made her cringe slightly.

"Mark…" Roger said with a roll of his eyes, clearly stating that she should suck up at least a little bit. _She hurt us—you. I can't let her get away with it._

"Roger!" Mark cried back, clearly stating that that was a horrible thing to expect of her. _All I want is for everyone to just forgive and forget._

Roger just sighed and gave Mark puppy eyes._ I don't want to let this go…I can't._

Mark just gave an exasperated look. _You're going to have to let go._

Roger just sighed once more and his answer showed in his sagging posture. _Fine…but I don't have to like it._

Mark just smiled in answer and came forward. Without warning he came up and kissed Roger gently. He kissed back eagerly, a little fiercely and the slightest bit with frustration, but knowing it was Mark he was kissing he reined in most of his emotions.

It wasn't until they heard a small cough beside them. They pulled apart and looked straight into the face of a shocked and confused Joanne.

"Oh yeah…Mark's my lover. And I'm his." Roger said brightly, smiling like a moron.

Mark just giggled lightly before whispering, "Doofus. Don't put her into cardiac arrest."

Roger just smiled in satisfaction.

**Reviews to spare my loves?**


	22. Relief

**I'm surprised none of you have killed me in my sleep yet! I'm terrible at updating! I'm so sorry you guys—if it helps any I've written you some shameless fluff. Enjoy!**

Mark laid on his and Roger's bed languidly, sighing as he finally awoke fully. He had just woken up from a…3 hour (_3 hours? I didn't know I was that tired)_ nap.

_It's getting worse. _He thought sadly, sitting up…even though his body was fighting tooth and nail against getting up.

He sat for a couple minutes, blinking himself awake when he realized something very strange;

One, no noise.

Two, no hovering Roger.

That meant…

"Oh Lisa, my sweet angel. I'm gonna kiss you later." Mark sighed happily.

"_Please Lisa," _Mark remembered asking Lisa many hours earlier, "_Take Roger out. For as long as you can. Do anything you want—just get him out."_

"_Why? Are you having a domestic?"_

"_No…I just hate how he's always there for me, all the time. Not only am I getting sick of it but he is too. I can tell. He'd never say it but he desperately missing going out and being a rock star. So please take him out, make him feel like a rock star for the evening."_

"_Why can't you take him out?"_

"_Because…I need alone time?"_

"…_Alright sweetie-pie, anything for you."_

Mark shook his head lightly as guilt began to settle in. Weeks after his diagnosis and still the only people that know of his disease were Joanne and Roger.

_They'll have to know soon; the disease is taking its toll now. It's only a matter of time—_

"Nope, nope, not going to go there. If Roger's having a night out, why shouldn't I? Instead of going actually out though, I'll get out of my own head."

With that Mark stood and quickly walked into the living room. It was not even beginning to darken outside but he knew it was getting late.

_Okay so I might not have that long…better enjoy what I got._

So with a relaxed sigh he trudged to the kitchen to make himself some tea. Make his alone time much more relaxing.

~~~~~~::~~~~~~

_525 600 minutes  
525 600 moments so dear  
525 600 minutes  
How do you measure  
Measure a year?_

Mark smiled gently as he watched what unfolded on the screen.

He had finally finished it; his new "documentary" so to speak. The one he had been working on in secret ever since he found out he was going to die. The one he knew he'd have to make…

That, and he knew that the day would come that he would pass from the world. Hopefully with Roger holding his hand.

He was going to leave before his lover did and he knew it was going to hurt the rocker beyond repair.

Which was the main reason why he made the video…he wanted to leave Roger something before he went. Preferably something made with his own hands; something made from the heart.

And so with his passion motivating him he spent the last two weeks going through film after film, taking the good stuff and piecing them all together…making something beautiful.

_**Mimi smiled alluringly at the camera, giving a small wink. Maureen came up behind her quickly, obviously not wanting to give up the attention. She began making muted cat noises (most likely purrs) and was clawing the air around her. Mimi just looked at her and, instead of being exasperated or frustrated, she just laughed and began to mimic her.**_

_Mimi and Maureen were always close, _Mark thought.

_**Roger, with his old long hair, was playing the guitar with a happy smile on his face.**_

_That was just after Mimi's miraculous recovery…after that he was so full of life and song-writing. It was almost annoying how chipper he was._

_**Collins was smoking lazily on the loft's fire escape. Angel was laughing beside him and Roger was sitting there with a grin on his face and shaking his head.**_

_Most likely Collins just made a dirty joke._

_**The Boho babes were dancing in the middle of the loft to the music coming out of Roger's guitar.**_

_**Mimi was gently caressing Angel's face as she sang a lullaby to her.**_

_The only hospital shot I allowed myself to add to this video._

_**The Bohos and their other friends were all singing about the Bohemian life and dancing on tables.**_

_The Bohemian life seemed so free and great back then, despite disease and pain and death…now it's all back and biting me in the ass._

_**Roger smiles softly from the window sill at a joke Mark's made.**_

_That was just after Mimi's death…it was the first smile—_real _smile—I'd seen on him in awhile._

_**Collins took a breath of his weed, grinning at Mark from his place on the couch. His skin was pale and he was covered in blankets.**_

_Last time I saw him…a week before he died. I was so busy trying to make the cash to take care of him and nurse him back to health that I never even noticed that he had left his apartment…he felt so guilty about me having to make some quick cash just for him. _

_Ha ha. That was back in the day where I was telling everyone I was selling stuff like my and Roger's clothes to get the cash we needed._

_God…he felt so guilty I was selling our stuff to help him he went to go teach that day so he could pay for himself._

_If only—_

'_**No day but today' Mimi mouthed sternly to the camera.**_

_Figures. Mimi is still inspiring me with her message. Despite death._

_**Benny stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room, scratching his neck. Roger was putting the groceries Benny bought for them away. Seemingly sensing someone was watching him, Benny looked up and directly at the camera. Seeing it, he grinned happily.**_

_**Lisa waved crazily to the camera, grinning from ear to ear.**_

_My first shot of her._

_**The first gang—Benny, Collins, Maureen, Roger and April—, the Bohos—Maureen, Benny, Joanne, Collins, Angel, Mimi and Roger—, and finally the new gang—Benny, Lisa, Erika, Jet and Roger—all of the gangs in succession. All of them were shots of the gangs hanging out in the Life Café.**_

_How far we've all come._

_**Lisa and Roger are bickering at each other; not really fighting though—more like snapping at each other like an old married couple. **_

_And Mark doesn't even mind, because they're like two siblings. They fight and fight and fight…but they care each other in the end. That's all that matters._

_**Lisa and Benny's clasped hands as she animatedly told a story to him and Roger.**_

_**A small kiss between Mark and Roger when they thought no one was looking.**_

_One of the rare moments I let Lisa borrow the camera. Also one of the few shots that have me in it._

_**Erika rolling her eyes while Roger talked to her.**_

_**Jet and Erika playing around on the couch like a couple of kids.**_

_The first time I had ever seen Erika smile so truly._

The video went on and on, making Mark laugh, making him smile and even making him cry a little bit. It made his day a little bit brighter. And as he lay there, he couldn't help but pause the video in between two frames. That way he had a perfect picture on the screen. At the top of the screen was his old Bohemian family, and below was his new family.

~~~~~~::~~~~~~

An hour or two later, that's where Roger found his lover; lying on his belly, snoring softly, with both groups paused, forever young, on the screen.

He grinned softly yet sadly as he took Mark's skewed glasses off of his face. He stared at the people on the screen, conflicted for a few moments before seemingly deciding. Instead of turning off the video entirely, he let the faces of their friends—both fallen and living—look after them as they slept.


	23. Everything's Changing

**Gah I think the story is nearing its end…I'm trying to anyways, because as much as I love this story I think I need to conclude it soon. So this is the beginning of the end my loves…be prepared :)**

Roger sighed happily as he entered the loft, guitar in hand.

He was having a good day.

He was pretty sure he scored on that audition for an up and coming band, he got a free meal from the barista (she didn't have to know he was in love with someone else), there was no one in the loft to bother him and he had enough money in his pocket to treat Mark to a small celebration at the Life. Albeit a small celebration but a celebration nonetheless.

Correction: he was having a _great _day.

"Mark? Baby you here?" he called, putting down his guitar. He was assuming that Mark was lying in bed, sleeping like usual, so that's where he went…only to find he wasn't there.

Frowning, he began looking around the loft, looking for a sign—

_There! Coffee table, note._

He strode over and read the note quickly, his smile drooping in the littlest.

_**Rog,**_

_**The restaurant called and asked if I could come in. Long story short, they're giving me five bucks more for every hour I work, so this is an opportunity I can't pass off. I'll see you around 4:00 tonight.**_

_**Love,  
Mark**_

He looked at the clock.

_2:00pm._

_Shit. I'll have to wait a little while longer. Well…I guess that puts a little damper on my afternoon. It'll be okay though! It won't bring me down. After all, supper is just as good as lunch._

And so, Roger sat on the couch and began to play with his guitar, waiting upon Mark's return.

~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~

_Riiing...Riiiiiiiiinnnnggg….RIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGG!_

"Fuck I'm coming." Roger groaned, his eyes opening after what seemed like a nap. _I just wanted to shut my eyes for a second—_

_RIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGG!_

Without thinking he answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello. Is this Roger Davis?"

"Yes, of course…What's up?"

"This is Nurse Joy from Monfort Hospital."

Roger stomach dropped and he was sure if someone were there, they would notice his blanched face.

"Can I ask about what this is referring to?"

"Your…_partner_…Mark Cohen, is in the hospital sir. It would be appreciated if you came in."

"Why is he in the hospital?" Roger asked, his breaths becoming haggard.

"Calm down sir," she whispered, obviously hearing his breaths escalate, "We're not quite sure what's wrong with him. What I suggest is coming to the hospital—"

He hung up and was out the door within a heartbeat.

~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~

Roger got there is in record time; 23 and a half minutes during traffic. He rushed to the nearest counter and didn't bother to contain the babbling coming from his chest.

"Hi my boyfriend come in here earlier I'm Roger his name is Mark please please _please _let me see him—"

"Hold on, hold on sir. Who are you?" the dark-skinned nurse asked calmly, raising her eyebrow at the poor, frazzled man.

"I'm Roger Davis. I'm here to see my boyfriend." He said through clenched teeth, impatient.

She raised an eyebrow before saying, "Sir, I need a name for him as well."

"Mark Cohen."

"Thank you. Now let me go through and we'll see who we have in the system." The nurse said, overwhelmingly calm. It frustrated the poor rocker to bits.

A few minutes passed, Roger's fists clenching and unclenching, upset, worried and angry all at once. Not a good mix. He had to find out something soon or this hospital would have to deal with the wrath of the—

"There you go. I've tracked him. Right now he's…out of the ICU, and on the fifth floor, awaiting more tests. Now if you sit down sir—"

"Look, I've been waiting for way too long already! I just want to see my fucking boyfriend!" Roger cried, having had enough.

The nurse just raised an eyebrow before steadily saying, "You won't be able to if you continue to lose control sir. I'm sure the last thing you want is to be sent away for a couple of days. So I suggest you sit down, wait for a nurse to come get you and try to relax okay?"

Roger's first reaction was _God no. _He couldn't be kicked out! He simply couldn't! He knew Mark would need him more then ever and…he needed Mark just as much.

He took a deep breath and forced himself to unclench his fists. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on something else. Playing Musetta's Waltz. Performing again. Ruffling Erika's hair. The smell of coffee. _I've found a reason for me to change who I used to be…A reason to start over new and the reason is you…_

Roger took another deep breath before whispering, "Can I see him now?"

"Like I told you sir; you'll have to sit down until I send a nurse down."

He simply nodded harshly before going and sitting in the place he hated most; the waiting room.

~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~

Now, Roger really did try to escape his own mind during this time. He really did. But…Mark refused to leave his mind, like a song that repeated over and over again in his mind. It was killing him slowly, thinking of all the times they had together and what could happen…He couldn't force them from his mind though.

_He may not even die you moron. He's probably going to live for a good many years. _He tried telling himself, repeating it over and over again in his mind.

He couldn't convince himself. No matter how much he tried.

~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~

"_Mark?" _

"_Yeah Rog?" Mark asked, sitting on the couch. He was cuddled up in a blanket, his eyes closed, an empty soup bowl and many snot-filled tissues surrounding him. He was pale and oh so weak. _

_Roger was _insanely _worried._

"_You're going to get better…right?" _

_Mark opened his eyes and smiled at the man at the end of the couch. _

"_Of course I will; this is just a cold. I'll bounce back in a few—_cough cough—_days! No worries!" Mark cried, his voice cracking._

"_But it's almost been a week and you're nowhere near better babe! Maybe I should—"_

"_No." Mark said harshly, frowning, "The hospital is the last resort, you hear me?"_

"_We can't let this get worse Mark; it may be just a cold now but how about if it turns into pneumonia? You know that's what Angel—"_

"_Yes I know Roger. But I'm not feeling any worse then I was a couple days ago and my temperature is fine, right?"_

"…_Right."_

"_Therefore we can wait another few days before taking drastic measures. Now shut up and let's watch _Die Hard._"_

He ended up getting better a few days after that…at least Roger thought he had. He obviously hadn't if he had collapsed at work.

_This is all my fault. If I had brought him in like I said I would—_

"Mark Cohen's family?"

Roger was instantly on his feet and going up to the old nurse who had come down.

"Mark Cohen's family?" she asked him, her eyebrows rising. She obviously didn't believe he was a brother or a cousin or something like that.

_Quick quick quick—_

"He's my husband." Roger was able to spit out…and it wasn't until it was out that he realized the reality of that statement.

_Of course I am—especially now._

The nurse's face changed from stoic to smiling.

"This way then."

~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~

"Mark? Your husband is here to see you," the nurse grinned as the two finally entered the room.

Roger almost walked right back out.

Mark looked terrible. His skin was paler then ever and with just a small hospital blanket and hospital gown it looked like he was skin and bones. He looked positively ghastly and that winded Roger.

Mark frowned at the husband comment, but didn't say a word until the nurse gave them both a smile and left.

"Husband?"

"…They wouldn't let me in otherwise." Roger shrugged, trying to hide his fear.

"Ah…well, might as well say so. We might as well be an old married couple." Mark grinned, his charm relaxing Roger in the slightest. The banter gave a sense of normality; and for a split second Roger could've sworn he was relaxing at the loft, hanging out with his boyfriend—if it wasn't for Mark dying in front of him.

"True enough." Roger grinned anyways, despite the fact that _that _was _not _how he was feeling.

Mark didn't seem to sense that. And Roger was so thankful for that.

"How was the audition?" Mark croaked, gaze inquiring as he watched Roger lean against the wall.

"…Good actually; I think I might make the cut." Roger grinned. Honestly, this morning felt like ages ago. He could barely comprehend that just a couple hours ago he was practically in heaven; playing with a band and having the time of his life. Now…Everything was different. And it was very likely it won't go back to being the same.


	24. Bigger Fish to Fry

**Here's some more for yah, if anyone is still paying attention;**

"Where is he? _Where is he?!_" Lisa practically growled as she raced down the hallway, practically running Roger over in her haste, "What's wrong with him? Is he okay? _Why didn't you call me sooner!—"_

"Lisa, _relax,_" Roger tried to soothe, grasping her by her upper arms. She squirmed but didn't fight him off thankfully.

"You can't go in there like that. He'll probably freak the fuck out because you're freaking out and you know it." Roger continued, rubbing circles into Lisa's arms.

"_I don't care!_ He _needs _me and I need him! Let me the fuck through!" Lisa screeched, obviously outraged.

"LISA!" Roger yelled, making Lisa instantly up and looking even more worried. _So that's the secret to shutting her up. Duly noted._ "You can't freak him out Lisa. You're simply not allowed."

"Why? He'll get over it." Lisa said, suddenly sounding small.

"We…Oh Lisa…" Roger sighed, letting her go and rubbing his forehead with his free hands.

"What's going on Roger?"

"He…A couple months ago, we discovered something."

"What was it?" Lisa asked breathlessly, obviously steeling herself for the next few moments.

"A lesion. On his back. Followed by several more these past months. H-His body's weak, which is why h-he isn't handing the pneumonia well." Roger swallowed, blinking away his tears.

Meanwhile Lisa had frozen and was staring at him with wide eyes, blank yet obviously scared.

Finally, after quite awhile, Lisa began to murmur, "No. No no no. He would've—he would've told me. ME of all people! No no no—"

And then, before Roger could stop her, she rushed into the room behind him. He tried to stop her, he really did, but…it was too late.

"How dare you! _How dare you Mark Cohen!_ Why the fuck couldn't you tell me?! _ME?!_ What the bloody hell is the matter with you—" Lisa screeched abuse at Mark, who was sitting there wide eyed and obviously guilty.

"Lisa—"

"NO! NO NO _NO!_ You don't get to console me you son of a bitch!" Lisa wailed, tears beginning to gush down her face.

"Lisa, _please_—" Roger tried to say, grabbing her arm. She yanked away though, running forward and getting into Mark's face.

"How _could _you?! _How could you! _You—you know—" Lisa cried, the fight leaving her as she began to sob. She covered her mouth, trying to stifle it, but when Mark's arm reached out to her she fell into them, she no longer fought it. She collapsed on top of him, crying her poor heart out. Mark gently rubbed her hair and shoulders, whispering sounds of comfort into her ear. All the while tears streamed down his own face.

Roger felt very out of place during the whole ordeal but his instinct to protect Mark overrode the discomfort. And with Lisa freaking out like this he didn't quite trust her enough to not pommel his poor boyfriend when she was done breaking down.

So he stood to the side and waited for them to finish…and when Mark met his eyes, he tried to comfort his crying boyfriend with just a look. It seemed to work—well, it worked as much as a look _could _really.

The look just made Mark give a shuddery sigh and continue rubbing a now sniffling Lisa's back.

"Why Mark? _Why?_" Lisa barely choked back a sob, digging her head further into Mark's neck.

"I couldn't do this to you Lisa. I _couldn't_. I couldn't deal with," Mark could barely keep himself in check, pulling Lisa away from his neck and trying to look into the crying girl's eyes, "I didn't want _this _from you in my last months."

"_But how was I supposed to react?!" _Lisa cried hysterically.

"_I-I don't know!_ I just—I was selfish and I'm sorry." Mark sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"No no—I'm being selfish! You're the one who's _dyiasdfgh_!" Lisa blubbered, her couple seconds of clarity dying in sobs.

"Shh, shh…everything's fine." Mark whispered tearfully, holding her to his chest once more.

Roger meanwhile resisted the urge to hug them both and shield them from the cruelness of the world.

It was almost physically painful to watch them both breakdown now.

And it was with a soft and quiet realization that he knew that he was hardly needed anymore.

So, with a couple quiet footsteps found himself outside of the hospital room. He sighed once outside and put his head in his hands. When the urge felt too great, when he felt he could no longer hold himself up, he slid down the wall.

"So I'm assuming all the screaming in there doesn't bode good news does it?"

He looked up from the floor with a little laugh. Benny stood in front of him, shiny shoes and pressed suit. His face was solemn and he was looking anywhere then at Roger.

Roger could understand the feeling.

"No, no it does not." Roger finally answered, raising his hand to scratch his neck.

"Tell me."

"You sure you want to know? Reality's a bitch."

Benny sighed and moved to stand beside Roger. And then, to his surprise, his old friend moved to sit beside him.

Once settled, he whispered, "Tell me."

"Mark—Mark has pneumonia and AIDS at the same fucking time. You do the math." Roger whispered back, his voice hitching throughout.

"Mark's a strong one Roger. And he's stubborn—he'd have to be, dealing with you all the time. He'll be fine." Benny tried to comfort. It worked a little, since it startled a laugh out of him. But the morbid situation caught up with him quickly.

"He's dying Benjamin," he stated emotionlessly, "He…I talked to the doctor while he was napping. They _definitely do not _have high hopes for the bastard. My fucking bastard…doing this to me. Even after losing April and Mimi…he just _had _to do this to me."

Why were his cheeks wet?

Benny sighed and he looked like he wanted to comfort Roger in some way. But he quickly realized how awkward that would be, since the only person that could comfort this broken man was in his bed, comforting another.

"He…he told me absolutely no doctors. No hospitals. I was stupid. The moment he even sniffled he should've been here. But I was a hopeful, selfish _asshole _who insisted it was a cold so he could sleep at night. How fucking _terrible _of me! And now he's going to fucking _di_—"

"Shut up Roger." Benny finally snapped.

Roger closed his mouth with a startled snap.

"Don't make this all about you. I know this is fucking _terrible _for you. But for Christ sake's, remember this is Mark here. The unselfish guy who at least deserves to bask in his own death sentence. Not a good way to get noticed, but still—"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Roger cried, up in an instant, "I've tried to keep him as happy as I fucking can, what with a death sentence hanging over him. I've given him everything he could ever need and tried to give him what he wanted—"

"Yes. You did. You let your boyfriend have the spotlight for the first time since you'd known him. Only because he's on his deathbed. Congratulations."

"Fuck you, you condescending asshole. I don't need to deal with this shit." Roger exclaimed, beginning to walk down the hallway.

"Where are you going?!" Benny cried after him, finally getting up.

"Coffee!"

~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~

A couple hours later it was obvious he had not gone for coffee.

Benny and Lisa were pissed and Mark was practically defeated. The couple offered support of course, but Mark was stubborn and insisted he needed his boyfriend. "Just in case."

That sentence drove Lisa into hysterical tears again.

This time Benny comforted her. He didn't leave the room though, knowing Mark shouldn't be alone. It would be beyond cruelty. And he could hardly call up Jet and Erika, who had gone to New Jersey to visit a couple of friend and a long lost cousin. He couldn't interrupt them finally dealing and easing themselves into their pasts. So he held a sobbing Lisa and tried to convey comfort to Mark in a look.

And it was at that moment Benny realized he could kill Roger with his bare hands at that very moment.

~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~

An hour or two later, when Mark was asleep and Lisa was coherent, Benny realized they needed to come up with a plan. After all, they had a missing rocker and three unknowing friends.

Lisa insisted they go after Roger right away and kill the bastard.

"As much as Mark would appreciate the sentiment, I don't think he would appreciate that."

So they came up with a slightly saner plan;

They'd call Joanne up, get her to watch over Mark, locate Roger, let Lisa kick his ass and then drag it back to the hospital.

It wasn't that hard to enact.

The moment Jo heard the word hospital, she quickly was there, sitting dutifully by Mark's side with a depressed look on her face. Benny and Lisa explained the situation to her and she took it all solemnly. Lisa almost called her a robot in the short rage she felt but then she remembered she had bigger fish to fry;

Roger Adam Davis.


	25. Dealing With Death

They looked in many places; the Café, the park, the restaurant…nothing. They were close to giving up when they decided to check the obvious place.

And as they made their way up to the loft, they heard the ever-annoying _Musetta's Waltz…_and that's when they knew.

The coward had hidden in the one place he knew they'd never check, thinking it too obvious.

Lisa didn't even bother waiting until she was at the door before she was yelling, "You _bastard!_" Benny sighed and trailed after her, huffing slightly as he climbed the last set of stairs.

The music instantly stopped and no other noises were heard.

"Don't you hide from me! I could probably smell the stench of _coward _and _asshole_ off of you." Lisa screeched as she finally made it to the top floor.

Without so much as another word she was inside the loft and storming towards Roger. The rocker didn't have time to shield himself before she was pounding on him, her knuckles white from her fists clenching so hard. She punched him wherever she could and in her rage didn't give a shit that Roger was crying out in pain.

"You fucker! You cockroach! You asswipe! You sonuvabitch! I'm going to—"

Before she could finish her sentence however Benny was grabbing her around the waist and pulling her away. She clawed at him, hair flying as she screamed abuse as loud as she could. No matter what though, Benny did not let go and eventually (regrettably) Lisa began to calm.

"You…you _left him _Roger." Lisa hissed, shoving Benny's loose hands off of her when it was obvious she wouldn't try to beat Roger up for the next five minutes.

Roger didn't say a thing. Instead he picked up his guitar from where he had placed it (out of the way of the scuffle—he obviously knew Lisa meant business when she showed up) and strummed the strings gently.

"Say something Roger or I swear I will beat you to death." Lisa threatened.

"Lisa." Benny hissed, the look he gave her clearly indicating her threat wasn't cool.

"Why are you protecting me Benjamin? You were after all the lead in the whole 'let's take Roger down a peg' party." Roger commented dryly, his strumming no longer gentle.

"_What?_" Lisa asked impatiently, obviously pissed by being out of the loop.

"The reason I left was because Ben was being a dickwad." Roger said harshly, picking at the strings with his nails now.

Lisa didn't say anything, just looked between Benny and Roger several times.

That didn't last long.

"Are you saying," Lisa began with clenched teeth, looking like she was _actually _going to _murder _him, "You left your _dying _lover because you—you were told off by Benny?"

"You make it stupid when you say it like that." Roger grumbled, looking away.

With a cry of frustrated rage Lisa was rushing at him again, her fists poised in the air ready to strike down. Fortunately (or unfortunately in her case) Benny was quicker to grab her this time before she could cause any damage.

"YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT! HOW DARE YOU! HOW _DARE _YOU—!" she started to scream, kicking as hard as she could.

"_Lisa._ LISA! STOP THIS!" Benny cried over her cries, losing his grip on her little by little.

"_No! _He deserves much worse—"

"You don't think I already know that?!" Roger shot back.

"LET ME FUCKING—"

"_Stop it._ Both of you." Benny cried, giving the two glares. Lisa huffed but surprisingly enough listened. Roger listened as well, but not before sagging slightly in defeat.

"This is crazy; Lisa, you have no right to hurt Roger. You may hate his guts but he is still your best friend's boyfriend, and even your friend," Benny began. Lisa grumbled but didn't say a word. "Roger, you're an asshole. But you can redeem that by going back to Mark."

"I can't." Roger said, pleading in his voice.

"Why not?"

"Because…I did this to him," Roger explained, his voice tight, "And that makes me a selfish bastard, wallowing in self pity, but it's _true_! And I can't fucking sit there and look at the mess I made." Tears began to gather in Roger's eyes but he made no move to wipe them away. It seemed that the tears were so constant that he didn't seem to know the difference anymore.

"You _have _to Rog. He loves you and has accepted you and he _deserves _your love and acceptance in return." Benny stated as Lisa grabbed the couch, trying to control her anger.

"I _know that_! I _know! _But…" Roger trailed off, rubbing his neck and looking away.

"But _what _asshole?" Lisa couldn't help but quip, earning a glare from Benny.

"Do you _know _what's it's like to hate yourself so profusely? To be loved for everything you are even though you know that you don't deserve it? I do. I've faced that hatred ever since Mark entered that damned hospital. And it's _killing me_." Roger hissed.

"It may be so but you forget honey bunches of oats; _this isn't about you_. This is about the mortality of the man you love. Get over yourself." Lisa added, less passionate but still so so angry.

Roger took a deep breath but didn't comment; instead he just ran his hand through his hair and looked away.

"Roger?"

Roger looked up at Ben, defeat in his eyes.

"You can't run away for ever. You have to deal." Benny whispered, grabbing Roger's shoulder gently and giving a squeeze. Lisa looked like she'd rather have her boyfriend doing anythinginstead of comforting him, but didn't say a word.

"I…I know." Roger whispered gruffly, looking down at his hands.

"Come back to the hospital."

~~~~~~~~~::~~~~~~~~~

The trio entered the hospital an hour later. Lisa and Benny were quite proud of themselves and even smiling, despite the sour predicament they were in. Roger entered with his shoulders slumped, his hands in his pockets, not saying a word and not even looking up as they entered. He so obviously didn't want to do this, but the couple walking beside him arm-in-arm would kill him if he dared made a dash for it.

So instead he took deep breaths and prayed to a God he never believed in. He just…he couldn't leave the hospital without his boyfriend. He simply couldn't. Honestly, he knew if he couldn't they'd be leaving the hospital in two body bags. He couldn't see it any other way.

They made their way up to Mark's room, silent and quick as they did so. But by the time they had made it to their friend's room, they have slowed considerably and any sunny dispositions they had before were gone.

Reality was too near beside the hospital room 221.

Despite the pain Lisa was quick to enter the room. She slightly squealed when she noticed her friend was mostly awake, staring into space in his hospital bed.

"Hey darling!" she cried as she sat in the chair beside him. She smiled brightly at him, despite the sudden need she had to cry. She had already cried enough she knew; crying and freaking out more would just upset Mark. So she grinned and bared it while she gently reached over and petted Mark's hair.

Benny meanwhile had entered behind Lisa, his smile looking much more forced when he followed Lisa's lead. "Hey Mark; how you feeling man?"

"…Tired…the drugs…but my dreams suck, so…" Mark muttered, obviously fighting to stay awake. He didn't smile back, but the couple knew that he had every right not to.

"It's okay sweetheart; we'll talk to the doctor for you."

"No…the drugs takes the pain away…I'll be fine…Rog?" Mark whispered, his eyes looking over the two. He was obviously looking for a face that wasn't there.

Lisa turned to the doorway where Roger was cowering, looking like he'd rather be hiding under a rock at the moment then facing reality.

"He's at the door; come on in Roger!" Lisa waved Roger over, giving a comforting smile. Or, a smile that was supposed to look comforting. In reality, it was fierce. It was a '_get-your-ass-over-here-or-I-will-kill-you-with-Mar k-in-the-room-or-not' _smile.

So with as much courage as he could spare and a deep breath, Roger entered the room with a small smile. "Hey," he grumbled, coming into Mark's view.

Mark smiled brilliantly for a second, and in that second it was like he was his healthy and happy self again, but then he studied Roger and frowned. His smile faltered and he obviously didn't like what he saw in Roger.

Roger felt immediate guilt, but he didn't feel ashamed. He could barely stand how he felt, but it was whom he was and he refused to hate himself.

"You…ran didn't you? Lisa and Ben…had to drag you back?" Mark slurred, looking at Roger with such disappointment but also acceptance. As if he knew that Roger would pull this shit. That made Roger a little unnerved and even _more _guilty.

"He did, but it's all taken care of." Lisa smiled brightly, but her teeth were clenched way too hard. She obviously wasn't pleased.

"Don't…want him here if he…doesn't want to."

"Wh-what?" Lisa asked, her smile faltering.

"He…doesn't have to be here." Mark whispered, looking resolute but also so, so upset at the fact.

"I…Baby, he should be here! He has no choice! He knew what he was getting into with you." Lisa argued, giving up the façade of being chipper and bright. Now she looked both furious and confused, occasionally looking over and glaring at Roger.

"I knew…too. It's okay…"

Roger was torn. He wanted so desperately to leave, but…Mark had practically given his permission to get the hell out of town. He could barely resist the urge. In fact, he couldn't.

He nodded quickly to Benny and Lisa and zipped out the door, reminding Benny of Flash.

"I…I…" Lisa looked scandalized. She could barely believe it. The nerve…!

"He's not leaving for too long." Ben nodded wisely. He knew Roger; in the day he was one of his best friends. He would be too guilty and too in love with the man to actually leave. At least not for too long. He was confident in that aspect.

"I hope so…" Lisa grumbled, grabbing Mark's hand comfortingly and looking away from the empty doorway. She tensed and prepared herself to have to hold her Marcus close as he wept over the stupid rocker…only to see his eyes closed and his breaths even. Asleep. Figures. The only indicator that Roger leaving was painful for the filmmaker was the lone tear that had fallen before he passed out.

"Oh baby…" she whispered, wiping the tear away.

"Lisa…we should go and get some sleep. I'm sure Roger will be here when Mark wakes up."

"…You better hope so." Lisa whispered vehemently. Normally she wouldn't dare leave, but…she was exhausted. And sleeping in a stiff hospital chair wasn't all that appealing. So, she let Ben lead her out of the room…holding her close as she shook.


End file.
